University of Virginia Library

SCEN. I.

Enter Bird a Featherman, and Mr s Flowrdew wife to a Haberdasher of small wares; the one having brought feathers to the Play-house, the other Pins and Looking-glasses; two of the sanctified fraternity of Black-friers.
Flo.
See Brother how the wicked throng and crowd
To works of Vanity! not a nooke, or corner
In all this house of sin, this cave of filthinesse,
This den of spirituall theeves, but it is stuff'd,
Stuffed, and stuff'd full as is a cushion
With the lew'd Reprobate.

Bird.
Sister, were there not before Innes,
Yes I will say Inns, for my zeale bids me
Say filthy Innes, enough to harbour such
As travell'd to destruction the broad way;
But they build more and more, more shops of Satan.

Flowrd.
Iniquity aboundeth, though pure zeale
Teach, preach, huffe, puffe and snuffe at it, yet still
Still it aboundeth. Had we seen a Church,
A new built Church erected North and South,
It had been something worth the wondring at.

Bird.
Good workes are done.

Flowrd.
I say no works are Good.
Good works are meerely Popish and Apocryphall.

Bird.
But th'bad abound, surround, yea & confound us.
No marveile now if Play-howses increase,
For they are all grown so obscene of late
That one begets another.

Flowerd.
Flat fornication!
I wonder any body takes delight
To hear them prattle.

Bird.
Nay and I have heard
That in a—Tragedy, I think they call it,
They make no more of killing one another,
Then you sell pinnes.

Flow.
Or you sell feathers brother.
But are they not hang'd for it?

Bird.
Law growes partiall,
And findes it but Chance-medly: And their Comedies
Will abuse you, or me, or any body;
We cannot put our monies to increase
By lawfull Vsury, nor Breake in quiet,
Nor put off our false wares, nor keep our wives
Finer then others, but our Ghosts must walke
Vpon their stages.

Flow.
Is not this flat conjureing,
To make our Ghosts to walke ere we be dead?

Bird.
Thats nothing Mr s Flowrdew, they will play
The Knave, the Foole, the Divell and all for mony.

Flow.
Impiety! O that men indued with reason
Should have no more grace in them!

Bird.
Be there not other
Vocations as thriving, and more honest?
Bailies, Promooters, Iaylors, and Apparitours,
Beadles, and Martialls men, the needfull instruments
Of the Republique; but to make themselves
Such monsters? for they are monsters, th'are monsters,
Base, sinfull, shamelesse, ugly, vile, deform'd
Pernitious monsters.

Flow.
I have heard our Vicar
Call Play-houses the Colledges of Transgression,
Wherein the seven deadly sinnes are studied.

Bird.
Why then the City will in time be made
An Vniversity of Iniquity.
We dwell by Black-Friers Colledge, where I wonder
How that prophane nest of pernitious Birds
Dare roost themselves there in the midst of us,
So many good and well disposed persons.
O impudence!

Flow.
It was a zealous prayer
I heard a Brother make, concerning Play-houses:

Bird.
For Charity what is it?

Flow.
That the Globe
Wherein (quoth he) reigns a whole world of vice,
Had been consum'd! The Phœnix burnt to Ashes.
The Fortune whipt for a blind whore: Blackfriers
He wonders how it scapd demolishing
I'th' time of reformation: lastly he wish'd
The Bull might crosse the Thames to the Bear-garden,
And there be soundly baited!

Bird.
A good prayer.

Flow.
Indeed it something pricks my Conscience,
I come to sell 'em Pins and Looking-glasses.

Bird.
I have their custome too for all their feathers:
'Tis fit that we which are sincere Professors
Should gain by Infidels.