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Scena 2.
Anaiskintia, Kataplectus.Philo.
Here comes Anaiskintia too;—O fates!
Acolastus, and Asotus have sent for mee,
And my breath not perfum'd yet!
Kat.
O sweet mother,
Are the Gentlemen there already?
Anais.
Come away,
Are you not asham'd to be so bashfull? well,
If I had thought of this in time, I would
As soone have seene you fairely hang'd as sent you
To' th'Vniversity.
Phil.
What gentleman is that?
Anais.
A shamefast Scholar Madam:—looke upon her,
Speake to her, or you loose your exhibition:
—Youle speake I hope, weare not away your buttons!
Kata.
What should I say?
Anaisk.
Why tell her you are glad
To see her Ladiship in health—nay out with it!
Katap.
—Gaudeo te bone valere—
Phil.
A pretty Proficient!
What standing is he of i'th' Vniversity?
Anais.
He dares not answer to that question Madam.—
Philo.
How long have you bin in the Academy?
Katap.
Profecto Do—Domina sum Bac—Bac—Bacohalaureus
Artium.
Phil.
What pitty 'tis he is not impudent!
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Nay all my cost I see is spent in vaine;
I having, as your Ladiship knowes full well,
Good practice in the Suburbs; and by reason
That our Mortality there, is very subject
To an infection of the French Disease,
I brought my Nephew up 'ith' Vniversity,
Hoping he might (having attain'd some knowledge)
Save me the charge of keeping a Physitian;
But all in vaine: he is so bashfull Madam,
He dares not looke upon a womans water.
Colax.
Sweet Gentleman, proceed in bashfulnesse!
'Tis vertues best preserver—
Kata.
Recte dicis, sic inquit Aristoteles.
Col.
That being gone
The rest soone follow, and a swarme of vice
Enter the soule, no colour but a blush
Becomes a young mans cheeke: pure shamefastnesse
Is porter to the lips, and eares, that nothing
Might enter, or come out of man, but what
Is good, and modest: Nature strives to hide
The parts or shame, let her, the best of guides,
Katap.
Natura dux optima.
Colax.
Teach us to doe so too in our discourse.
Katap.
Gratias tibi ago.
Philo.
Inure him to speake bawdy.
Anais.
A very good way; Kataplectus here's a Lady,
would heare you speake obscenely:
Katap.
Obscenum est, quod intra scenam agi non oportuit.
Anais.
Off goes your Velvet cap! did I maintaine you
To have you disobedient? you'l be perswaded?
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Liber is operam dare.
Anais.
What's that in English.
Katap.
To doe an endeavour for children.
Anais.
Some more of this, it may be something one day.
Katap.
Communis est omnium animantium coniunctionis
appetituus procreandi causa.
Phil.
Construe me that.
Katap.
All creatures have a naturall desire or appetite
to be joyned together in the lawfull bonds of Matrimony,
that they may have sons and daughters.
Anais.
Your Landresse has bestow'd her time but ill:
Why could not this have been in proper tearmes?
If you should Catechize my head, and say,
What is your name, would it not say, a head?
So would my skinne confesse it selfe a skinne;
Nor any part about me be asham'd
Of his owne name, although I catechiz'd
All over. Come good Nephew, let not me
Have any member of my body nicknam'd.
Colax.
Our Stoique, the gravest of Philosophers,
Is just of your opinion, and thus argues;
Is any thing obscene, the filthinesse
Is either grounded in the things themselves,
Or in the words that signifie those things;
Not in the things, that would make nature guilty,
Who creates nothing filthy, and uncleane,
But chast, and honest; if not in the things,
How in the words, the shadowes of those things?
To manure ground, is a chast honest terme;
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Vnlawfull: every man endures to heare,
He got a child; speak plainer, and he blushes,
Yet meanes the same. The Stoique thus disputes,
That would have men to breath as freely down'ward,
As they doe upward.
Anais.
I commend him Madam,
Vnto your Ladyships service, he may mend
With counsell! let him be your Gentleman-usher;
Madam you may in time bring down his legs
To the just size, now over grown with playing
Too much at foot-ball.
Phylo.
So he will prove a Stoique;
I long to have a Stoique strut before me:
Here kisse my hand. Come what is that in Latine?
Katap.
Deosculor manum,
Phylo.
My lip;—nay sir you must if I command you.
Katap.
Osculorte, velosculor ate.
Phylo.
His breath smells strong.
Anais.
'Tis but of Logick Madam.
Phylo.
He will come to it one day—you shall goe with mee
To see an exquisite glasse to dresse me by.
Nay, goe! you must goe first; you are too mannerly.
It is the office of your place, so—on.
exeunt.
Colax.
Slow Luparus rise, or you'l be metamorphos'd;
Acteon's fate is imminent.
Lup.
Where's my wife:
Cola.
Shee's gone with a young Snip, and an old baud.
Lup.
Then I am cuckolded; if I be my comfort is
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With pulling off, yet Madam I'le prevent you.
Exit.
Rosci.
The next are the extreames of Iustice.
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