 | Totenham Covrt |  |
Act. 2.
Scœn. 1.
Enter Franke and George, as walking to Totenham-Covrt.George.
Fie Franke; there's such a disproportion,
'Twill nere be brought to an equalitie.
Fr.
Why George, dost think th'exterior goods of fortune,
Or titular greatnesse that derives it selfe
From larger springs, and flow's to swell the blood
With attributes of gentle, or of noble
Can make the difference such, that the free soule
Must have the limits of her large desires
Prescrib'd by them? Nature's impartiall:
And in her worke of man prefer's not names
Of auncestors. She sometimes formes a piece
For admiration from the basest earth
That holds a soule: and to a Beggars issue
Gives those perfections make a beauty up;
When purer molds polish'd and gloss'd with titles,
Honours and wealth, bestow upon their bloods
Deform'd impressions; objects onely fit
For sport or pitty.
Geo.
Yet never can the mixture
Of gold with clay make any transformation
Of that base matter into purer metall.
The Chymistry of Love can surely doe it.
Wedlocke conferres all honour that's a husbands
Vpon his wife.
Geor.
And therefore you will marry
A milke wench; one that's drudge unto necessitie.
'Twould be a credit to that long continuance
Of noble matches which your auncestors
Have link'd to the chaine of their owne bloods.
To make the series of their Families
Spread in so many glorious divisions.
Come, let my counsell guide these passive fires
To flame aright, and send their Pyramids
More upwards. Let the grosser stuffe that feeds them,
By an inversion, choake them. From advice
Men must choose wives, not passion.
Fran.
She is faire:
Upon her person all the graces waite,
And dance in rings about her. Her bright eye
Is Loves chiefe mansion where he keepes his Court.
Envy not faire ones, if my fancie doth
Give all your dues to her, save onely those
Which your defects supply from wanton art.
Her white and red she borrow's not from any
Cosmetique drugs; nor puzzles the invention
Of learn'd practitioners for oyle of Talxe
To blanch an Ethiops skin. Lillies and Roses
Are figures fitting common beauties: hers
Wants a comparison but its proper selfe.
Geo.
You swell her praise too high; so meane a subject
fits nor not these raptures.
Fran.
Shee's a subject, George,
For larger volumes then invention
Yet ever fill'd with flattering hyperboles.
The very thought of her hath strain'd my heart-strings
Vp to a pitch of joy; whose musicke makes
My spleene dance lusty measures.
If she be
So rare a piece, her low condition
Makes me suspitious shee's some common wanton
Lurks in that maske for safety.
Fran.
Did not friendship
Restrain't, I should be angry: nay more; punish
So great a sin against her innocence.
I have laid all the baits that might entice
Apt inclination to sweet wickednesse;
But could not catch her that way. She hath shund them
With witty scorne, and such imperious checks
Have made me blush at my intentions foulenesse;
Which now is cleer'd with noble resolution
To give my hot desires their satisfaction
In faire embraces, such as the reverence
Of lawfull Wedlock sweetens.
Geor.
Vertuous policie.
Kill reputation, that you may preserve
A little better conscience. Any judgement
Would make a faire construction of my life,
That surfets in delights, and playes the Epicure
In all varietie and choyce of pleasures
Sooner then of thy act. Where ils doe want
A faire excuse (as thine doth) they are doubled.
Fran.
When thou hast seene her, thou wilt soone acknowledge
In what a misty error thy invectives
Have lost themselves.
Geo.
Nay rather hide her from me,
She may raise motions; and if I should rivall thee,
I must be serv'd: nothing was ere devis'd
To fright libidinous nature from it's pronenesse,
That can restraine me.
Fran.
Shal't not make me jealous?
Her soule is guarded with so many vertues
Temptations cannot better it: and i'th' way
The musicke of consent) I dare preferre
My selfe the first accepted.
Geor.
Still be confident.
The second Scœne.
To them Changlove, Stitchvvell, and his Wife.Some Citie loving couple.
Geor.
What's that Gallant?
Fran.
Surely 'tis Will Changelove;
The Proteus of affection: one that vary's
As many shapes of love as there are objects.
But what that shee-thing is I doe not know.
Geo.
She seems a handsome piece. That opportunity
Would play the Bawd a little.
Fran.
You'd be nibbling.
Changlove is my acquaintance. If they come this way (as
'tis most likely Tottenham-Court's the end of their early
walking) I'le be thy introduction. Let's walke softly.
Geor.
Whilst I doe ruminate some policie.
Stitch.
Besides the recreation Sir, tis healthfull.
Chang.
Indeed sloth duls the spirits activenesse.
And too much sleeping blunts the senses quicknesse;
Though some be very needfull; their affects
Are the preservers of their instruments.
I love early rising.
Mris. St.
But me thinks a nap in a morning's good.
Cha.
True Mris. Stitchwell; when the braine hath purg'd
It selfe of grosser fumes, the fancy yeeld's
Such solace to the inward waking sense
In pleasant dreames, that I have often wish'd
Those shadowes reall which they have presented;
Indeed I love to sleepe in the morning.
Stitch.
But stirring and exercise, I say.
Wife.
I would you would vse it in bed then.
Stitch.
I tell you Mr. Changelove though I am a Taylor
I keepe servants that are stout knaves. I love them well,
and they looke well to my businesse. On holydayes I give
them leave to use exercise.
Wife.
Yes husband, your finisher is as pretty a fellow
as ever did tradesman or his wife service. He pitcheth the
barr, and throws the stone; it doth me good to think of it.
Stitch.
I have a Cornish-Lad that wrastles well, and
hath brought home Rabbets every Bartholmew-tide these
five yeares. At stoole ball I have a North-west strippling
shall deale with ever a boy in the strand.
Change.
Now you speake of a ball, I would wee had
one here; tis a commendable exercise: the great Physitian
Galen wrote a booke, de exercitatione parvæ pilæ.
Wife.
What's that, pray sir?
Change.
Concerning the exercise of the little ball.
Wife.
It seems great Physitians will busie themselves about
small things: but they are not of my mind.
Geor.
How lik'st the project?
Fran.
As the end proves it; howsoever, it promiseth
fairely.
Geo.
They are arriv'd: let us prepare our selves.
Fran.
Mr. Changelove; a happy day follow this pleasant
morning.
Change.
Worthy friend, I returne your salute with
double wishes: pray know this Gentleman and his bed-fellow.
Fran.
The day must needs bee fortunate, that begins
with such faire Omens.
Wife.
I pray sir, why doth that Gentleman shun your
company? I hope we fright him not. It had beene manners
to salute me.
He alwayes doth that by Attourney Mistris.
Wife.
Then I must pay the fees.
Fran.
The truth is, he is a great woman-hater.
Wife.
Now out upon him. I thought he was gelt, hee
is so fat. Beast that I was to be so unmercifull to a dumb
thing; I had a dog serv'd so for the same purpose.
Fran.
It is a disposition in his will,
Not a defect of power.
Stitch.
How said you sir? cannot that Gentleman indure
women?
Fran.
Hardly their sight at distance. 'Tis affliction
Vnto his very soule to heare their vertues
Discourst, unlesse in scorne.
Chang.
A strange unmanly humour: I love not that.
Wife.
May all the curses our injur'd sexe can study, fall
upon him for it: aud I thinke we can curse.
Frank.
I know, to him my company is deare;
And our intentions have the selfe same end
Of mutuall enjoying: now, with what dejection
He doth expect I should divide my selfe
From you, may be conceiv'd.
Wife.
I beseech you kind sir leave us not.
Change.
I should love some witty plot upon him.
Frank.
He is my friend: yet I would gladly ayde
In any easie mischiefe, that might ayme
At his reclaiming.
Wife.
Let's get him arraign'd as one was in a play. Let
me alone to aggravate his inditement to the Jury; which
shall be twelve Midwives of my acquaintance: yet Ile be
sworne I never us'd any of them.
Change.
I have it.
Stich.
Pray first heare mine: let's run to Totenham-Court
for a wager.
Fran.
'Tis excellent; so his grosse bodies toyle
To follow us, shall be our laughter.
Stitch.
Right: or if he stay behind, let my wife alone
to vexe him.
Let's run then: 'tis a brave Olympicke exercise;
I love it well; but how shall we dispose
Of all these cumbers?
Fran.
Let us not be foot-men.
Change.
Indeed a seeming carelesse stay'd formalitie
In such like wantonnesses best becomes
A gentleman. I love it.
Fran.
Forwards then.
Chang.
The wager?
Stitch.
Every man his dozen.
Exeunt running.
Wife.
Why sweetheart; why husband; why Iohn;
doe you leave your Wife behind, to bee taken up by
every body? Now the love of mans society defend mee
from this abuser of creation. Come not neere mee thou
man of clouts; thou maulkin of virilitie; thou halfe woman,
and all beast: or with these nayles I will teare out
thine eyes, and all the double things are left about thee.
Geor.
Be milder gentle mistris. There's nothing in me
Appears unto my selfe so full of guilt
It should deserve reproach from you a stranger.
Wife.
There's nothing in you indeed sir; your friend
hath given me your character. You pretend to hate women,
because women have reason to hate you.
Geo.
I hate women!
Now by my love of pleasure, no delight
Hath any relish on the wanton palat
Of my desires; unlesse some mixture season it
That is deriv'd from them.
Wife.
Yes sir; you may take delight in them, but they
little in you. Come not too neere, there's infection in it:
my blood desires no freezing. The Summer of my youth
is not yet halfe spent; or if it were Autumne with mee,
high feeding and ease requires something.
Geo.
She takes me for an Eunuch. Sure my friend
Hath overdone his part; and drawne the counterfeit
Too neere the life of truth. Sweet Mistris heare
My plainer thoughts with superficiall words.
I love you; my desires are throughly fir'd,
And burne my bloud: which but your free enjoying
Nothing can quench.
Wife.
Why, I am a woman sir.
Geo.
I thinke you are; and one made up for pleasure,
More then the dull converse of what's defective.
Wife.
You say true sir: I heare it with a heavy heart.
But I hope sir, you would not have me make my husband
a Cuckold.
Geo.
Fie, that's a grosse construction; onely shame
And common knowledge doth it, not the act
Of a Wifes wantonnesse.
Wife.
I need no instructions for secrecie. Trust mee a
handsome Gentleman. The wickednesse of his friend to
beleeve him so. Dare you kisse me sir?
Geo.
A pledge for what should follow.
Wife.
You shall doe what you will with me, but making
my husband Cuckold.
Geo.
No more of that. Nay, this way.
Wife.
What, back againe! No by my Strand-honesty.
Ile to Totenham-court after my husband. If there be that
necessity at any time that I must make my husband a Cuckold,
I'le doe it before his face: any Citizens Wife can
doe it behind her husbands backe.
Geo.
Your will disposeth mine: we there may finde
Handsome conveniences; and I'le renew
My counterfeit of woman-hater: it
May cast a mist before his jealous eyes
Would watch us else.
Exeunt.
The third Scœne.
Enter Ciceley and Bellamie in one anothers clothes.Cice.
I hope y'are satisfied: but to what end this change
should serve, I would faine be instructed.
Bella.
I'le tell you. When we fear'd pursuit, we left our
horses, and the high way. The horses are surely found; and
by them my being hereabouts may bee conjectur'd. Now
this disguise shall helpe me to scape their search.
Cice.
Now out upon't. Had I no better an opinion of
your honestie, then of your wit (both which smell all together
of the countrey) I would againe leave you to seeke out
your owne danger. You have gentle-fide mee with your
clothes; and you are handsome enough in mine: for though I
am but a milke-wench, I ever lov'd neatnesse. Now you shall
personate my maid, and wait upon me to London; I'le personate
you, and if any thing rise from the mistake, wee'l turne
it to the best use. If I finde not out your sweet-heart, let me
never be counted a Prophetesse: and I am sure I have foretold
weather from the turning up of my Cowes tayle.
Bella.
Dispose me as you please, I dare the worst
Of my malicious. Now love hath arm'd me
With better resolution.
Cice.
In this disguise Ile meet the Gallant courts me every
morning at Tottenham-Court, and sound the depth of his
pretended honest meaning. My condition is to low to win
upon his desires to marry me: and the other thing without
it, he shall never have.
Within.
Why Cicely, Ciceley, I say my breakfast A quick
supply of meat, drinke and sleepe, or I rage presently.
Bella.
Blesse me, who's that?
Cice.
My fathers man.
Bella.
Hee'l spoyle all.
To them Slipp hastily.
Be you confident.
Slip.
Where's this Maggoti-pie of Marrowbone? Come
you cleane wash't chitterling, and give mee my breakfast.
How now Ciceley, where hath your face beene? at the painters?
Hay-day; Ciceley's owne face, and this Mistris dye
for love Ciceley-fide. Now I sweare by hunger (and that's
a strong oath) I thinke women have more fegaries then the
Divel would have Clients, if he were a Lawyer and pleaded
without fees.
Cice.
Keepe counsell sirrah you had best; and if my father
aske for mee, tell him I will not bee lost long. So fare
you well.
Exeunt.
Slip.
You will not bee lost long: hee is likely to have a
sweet match of it that finds you. Yet I could be content my
seaven yeares service might bee so rewarded. But the baggage
is as coy as an Aldermans eldest daughter: shee hath
beaten me a hundred times (coward as I was for suffering
it) for attempting to kisse her. But now I will revenge
it upon her Creame-bowles; over whose sweets I will
triumph.
The fourth Scœne.
To him Keeper, Worthgood.New mischiefe; I am againe delayd. If I forbeare my breakfast
But two minutes longer, my guts will shrinke into minikins:
which I bequeath the poore Fidlers at Totenham-Court,
for a May-dayes Legacie.
Keep.
Y'are welcome to this roofe; too meane a covering
For such a guest.
Worth.
Your first sir hath inritch't it.
And hallowed it into a Temple. Pray sir.
Conduct me to the Altar, where I may
Pay the due sacrifice of my desires
To her; and thanks to you.
Slip, call my daughter.
Slip.
Which daughter sir? your daughter gentlewoman,
or your gentlewoman daughter?
Keep.
Your trifling's unseasonable sirrah.
Slip.
Why sir, Ciceley's no more plaine Ciceley, but Ciceley
in lac't sattin. The gentlewoman and she are run out of
themselves one into another.
Keep.
But where are they?
Slip.
For ought I know, run away one with another.
Keep.
Run you after, and call them back.
Slip.
'Tis impossible: who knowes which way they are
gone. Besides, 'tis a mist would choake a brewers horse; I
cannot see one hand for the other.
Worth.
Sir, my suspition prompts me you are trecherous:
And these faire seeming undertakings traps
To catch me.
Keep.
Sir, you make a worse construction
Of my good meaning, then so faire expressions
Can any way deserve. Pray sir goe with me,
Wee'l overtake them.
Worth.
I will share the paines;
And venture once againe to try you thorowly.
Keep.
Follow you sirrah.
Exeunt.
Slip.
A killing command, The best is, it will breake my
heart, no matter then for my belly. Hunger, I defie thee;
revenge I hugg thee. I will lead you a wild-goose chase, till
we come to Toten-ham-Court; where I will score two dozen,
and reckon with mine hostesse maid, whose belly I have
rais'd with umbles.
Exit.
The fifth Scœne.
Enter Stitchvvell, Franke, Changlove.Frank.
You are the Olympian, Sir.
Stitch.
Doe you thinke Gentlemen I'd let you out-strip
me at exercise? I'le jump with ye for a dozen more.
Pray Sir let's jump: I love it mightily.
Frank.
My breaths not yet recover'd. By this time sir.
your Wife hath converted my friend to a civiller disposition.
Stitch.
Let her alone. If she doe it not, I durst forsweare
exercise; and that would be the greatest vexation.
Fran.
Greater then if your maid should drop the candle
on your festivall sattin doublet?
Chang.
Or the Cats pisse upon your Military feather?
Frank.
Or an inferiour neighbour be prefer'd for a common
counsell man?
Stitch.
Meere trifles to the forbearing of exercise.
Frank.
Or if a gallant should deale with your wife in
your absence for body covering, and give her Court payment.
Stitch.
A very likely matter. She that goe's thrice a weeke
to morning exercise, and will make repetition over sweet
meates at a gossipping. I tell ye gentlemen, I have trusted
her to a Maske, and the Innes a Court revelling: she knew
the way home agen without a Cryer. She hath converted a
hundred of her purer neighbours, by her example.
To them Tapster.
Frank.
Heere's more then Citie confidence. But shall
we enter?
Tap.
Y'are welcome Gentlemen.
To them Wife, presently George.
Chang,
A handsome roome sirrah.
Tapst.
The best in the house sir.
Exit.
Frank.
Your Wife's come, sir.
Stitch.
Welcome sweet-heart.
Wife.
Kinde gentlemen, hold my heart, oh. Nay one at
once: pray hold it hard, oh!
Stitch.
Whats the matter chucke?
Wife.
Oh my breath: there's not so much wind left in
me, as would make a noise to bee excus'd with the creaking
of ones shoo: oh. You are a kinde husband to leave mee
shew'd her the neerest way, or laid her down upon his cloake
when she had beene weary. But I thinke I fitted him.
Fran.
And beshrew him if he fitted not you.
Chang.
Here he is likewise.
Fran.
You blow hard George.
Stitch.
Come Gentlemen, shall we walke in.
Geor.
I would enjoy my friend a little heere.
Wife.
You shall enjoy your friend sir.
Exeunt.
Fran.
And what successe?
Geor.
Why dost not heare her promise?
You shall enjoy your friend. Shee's plyant Franke
Vnto my wishes: nothing now remaines
But to deceive her husband; thou must ayd me.
Frank.
Would'st have me Pandarize?
Geor.
I'le doo't for thee.
These are sweet sins, and onely doe intend
The pleasure of desire, which would be kill'd
With two much scruple.
The sixth Scœne.
To them Ciceley and Bellamie.What place is this? a common Ale-house?
Cice.
Feare you nothing, but put on confidence.
Fran.
I have seene that face, the figure's in my heart.
'Tis surely she: her habit cannot mock
My knowing sense. I'le venture on the tryall.
Geo.
This is his Milke-maid sure. I still suspected
'Twas some disguis'd name to conceale a Mistris.
Now by my life shee's faire; I envy him;
And my desires have almost tempted me
To put in for a share: but friendship checks it.
Shee may perhaps be vertuous, and well borne,
Shall serve at this time.
Fran.
Didst thou thinke that maske
Could veile thee from my soules distinguishing?
Wherein thy form's imprest, which fancie shews me
At every change of thoughts.
Cice.
Clothes have not alter'd
My person nor condition. I am still
Plaine Ciceley and your hand-maid. This exchange
Proceeds but from an honest merriment:
And when you understand the story right,
You'l make a faire construction.
Fran.
'Twere a sinne
To thinke amisse of thee; teares cannot expiate.
When thou art mine, I'le feed thy appetite
With pleasures best variety. Taylors dayly
Shall shape proportions for thy dainty body,
To make invention pregnant of new fashions.
Th'Exchange shall be thy Wardrobe to supply
Thy will with choyce of dressings. t'hearken out
A jewell to adorne thee, if the value
Exceede not my estate; I'le sell it all
To purchase thy content.
Cice.
Your promises
Are much too large. My too unworthy service
Cannot deserve to be commanded by you.
Gallant I'le trye you.
Fran.
Th'extasie hath made me
Forget my friend: 'tis shee George chang'd in habit.
Geo.
I am your servant faire one, and my heart
Vow's an obedience when your commands
Assigne me any taske.
Bella.
I doe not like
The courtship of these gallants: 'tis grosse flattery,
And tends I feare to ill.
Fran.
Come dearest will you
Some worthy company within expects me.
Cice.
I shall straine modesty, you excusing it.
Come maid.
Bella.
Why should I feare; that have defence
From Worthgoods love, and mine own innocence?
Exeunt.
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