 | Totenham Covrt |  |
Act. 5.
Scœn. 1.
Enter George and Porter with the Trunck, presently after them Vncle, Servant and Tenants.Porter.
A heavy burthen I assure you Sir.
Geor.
That's strange: a light Wench, and feathers.
Por.
You say true Sir; 'tis enough to break a mans back.
Geor.
His mistake hits upon truth. Rest thee Porter.
Oh this plots quaintnesse: witty luxury,
How it acutes invention, and makes pregnant
Even barren faculties to beget new issues
Of rare conceipt. But my credulity
Was rash and sodaine. If she hath abus'd it,
And mockt my hopes of pleasure, what revenge
Can give me satisfaction? Here's the key,
Though late these doubts arise, I greatly long
To have mine eye resolve them. Company,
Forbeare a little then, and rest thee Porter.
Vnc.
'Tis a faire circumstance, and may confirme
My first suspition. Where found you the Horses?
Serv.
In the high way neere yonder houses. The place is
called Totenham-Court.
1 Neig.
Our intelligence hath something Landlord.
Vnc.
What's That?
1 Neig.
The truth is being weary—
2 Neig.
Old men Landlord, old men. Labour agrees
worse with us then wrangling with a leane Parson that hath
a fat Benefice.
Vnc.
Pray' interrupt him not: Forwards Neighbour.
1 Neig.
At a house yonder we prevail'd to be let in:
soundly.
2 Neig.
And dreamt we were in Cranborne Church at a
drowsie Sermon.
Vnc.
On good Neighbour.
1 Neig.
Day no sooner peept, but noyse wak't us. The
house was presently full of Gallants with Musicke, and to
dauncing they went. We askt the reason, they of the house
told us 'twas customary for Gentlemen to have early revels
and rendevous there. At length we heard one speake
of a Gentlewoman in a satten gowne: which we conceiving
to be Mistres Bellamie, made haste to London to your Son to
informe your worship.
Vnc.
Oh my curst fate; they have prevented sure
My care, by zeale and nature so instructed
To tender her good, that I have not left
Counsaile or threats unurg'd to perfect it.
They are questionlesse marryed.
2 Neig.
Might I advise your worship then, let them alone
'till night: when they are in bed together, they are the likelier
to be catcht napping.
Vnc.
My Nephew's gone abroad too. Is't the custome
Of Students that pretend a love to Learning
And noble Sciences, to make the morning
Their time of recreation? Or have they
Had correspondence, and his friendly ayd
Is in the plot! Yon Porter may perhaps
Informe us something.
Geor.
If these question the Porter, I must answer for him.
Vnc.
Good speed friend. Didst see a Gentleman and a
Gentlewoman abroad in the Fields?
Por.
Betwixt nine and ten.
Ser.
He meanes the clock: his hearing is surely imperfect.
Didst see a Gentlewoman in a satten gowne?
Port.
Indeed 'tis a heavy burthen: I fetcht it from
Totenham-Court.
Didst see a Gentlewoman?
Port.
A Gentlewoman in a Trunck of Feathers! that
were very pretty.
Geor.
Oh villaine.
Seru.
A Gentlewoman at Totenham-Court!
Geor.
I saw many there Sir, and one in satten: but they
are all upon parting.
Vnc.
I thanke you Sir. Come let's hasten.
Exeunt.
Geor.
What may this be! It hath begot new jealousies.
The second Scœne.
To them Franke.To prevent ill? There's no avoyding him.
'Tis he: h'hath spide me; and his feares deject him.
Sweet constancie, how I could blame the good
Thy kindnesse meanes me, that hadst rather lose
Thine owne white purity, then staine my credit
With spots time cannot wash out. Doubly happy
Shall I be in enjoying her, and punishing
A trecherous friend.
George, how long have you converst with the Frock-trade?
I thought the smock had bin your chiefe delight.
Geor.
The Porter waits upon me.
Fran.
With stuffing for your bed.
Geor.
A light commodity I bought at Totenham-Court.
Didst ever thinke I should have been so thrifty to buy feathers
at the best hand? When I have us'd them throughly,
there are Suburb Upholsters will give me my money
agen.
Fran.
Me thinks they are very heavy.
Geor.
Let them alone.
Fran.
Have not you stolne mine Hostes great brasse Pot
she boyled old marrow-bones in, for the fat to make her
along with me.
Geor.
Prethee goe backe to thy milke Mayde.
Fran.
Dost thou deride me? Nay then Porter up with it,
or here's a goud to force you, and let out some of your Goats
blood.
Geor.
Thou dar'st not strike a friend basely.
Fran.
Friendship is canceld.
Th'ast broke the league that knit over our outward love:
For in consent of ill Love's never solid.
Hadst not abus'd that love with foule intents,
I would have thankt thy paines, which she contriv'd
Onely for me t'enjoy her.
Geor.
Is't even so
You shall heare from me Franke. Come hither Porter,
She hath legs to walke with you.
Fran.
But that I thinke disgrace a punishment
Worthy the guilt, this instant houre should give
The wrongs thou didst intend a satisfaction.
I must be bold sweet: mine are no Porters shoulders.
A Coach waits not farre off.
The third Scœne.
To them Changelove, Stitchvvell, Wife.Let me ruminate.
Stit.
I payd the reckoning Mr
Changelove, and am sorry
for it, I meane the wrong I did you.
Chan.
'Twas no offence: or had it, you have satisfi'd.
I love the memory of it. 'Twill be a Story
To greet a ring of friends with: next I meete
Shall have it all.
Wife.
It may passe indeed for a merry one by a good
Chan.
A good fire Mistresse Stitchwell is Winters artificiall
Sun, that renewes Summer within doores. I love it.
Wife.
With two or three good companions, and a gossips
feast.
Chan.
That's very right. Society is the use
Of mans best ornaments. Speech and discourse
Are reasons messengers, that carry errands
From one soule to another. I confesse
I love good company.
Stit.
'Tis a good exercise to rise in a frosty morning, and
kill Birds.
Chan.
You say well Sir, We that have youthfull blood,
That capers in our veines, and swels their concaves
With active warmth, should be inur'd to hardnesse.
Tis healthfull, and I love it.
Geor.
I have it. Doe you know these Franke?
Fran.
Mischiefe, I must prevent them.
Geor.
You may if please you, suffer the Porter to passe,
and stay your selfe. Credit is pretious: let me enjoy my sport,
yours may be preserv'd. Otherwise, your trull and you shall
both suffer. I am desperately resolute, and will reveale all.
Fran.
And I as desperate. Up with it Porter.
Port.
Any thing: will you suffer this Gentleman?
Geor.
Nay then Franke.
Draw. and a passe or two.
Port.
Helpe helpe.
Iam.
If he be gone sweet heart, let me out. I am almost
stifled.
They take him out of the Trunk.
Fran.
Whence that voyce?
Short.
The Gentlemen that were in our company! Let us
prevent them. Be not afraid Wife.
Wife.
Alas I cannot endure such naked weapons.
Chan.
What will this come to?
Iam.
I beseech ye Gentlemen kill me not, I have beene
sufficiently mortified; and I beleeve you may smell the effects
of my feare.
Is this the lovely piece, for whose enjoying
I have attempted what by ill successe
Makes me ridiculous: yet I swell with laughter
To thinke how finely she hath gull'd us both,
And mockt our easie trust.
Fran.
Pray' Sir how came you hither?
Iam.
I thinke upon that Porters shoulders.
Fran.
But how into this Trunk?
Iam.
Ile tell you sir. Bargaining for a little sport with
the Gentlewoman, whom I thought to be a wanton, she
possest me with feare, (to which cowardize is alwaies apt,
and I must acknowledge in my selfe) that a Gentleman
(one of you two I take it) had dealt with her for her
Mayden-head, and that shee expected him. He came:
and I fearing lust as well as love would brooke no rivall,
made use of this for my safety. Where being heavy headed
with Ale, I have slept till your noyse wak't me.
Stit.
An excellent conceit; how like you it Wife? This
Gentleman cannot endure the company of Women.
Wife.
I knew before he did but dissemble: that made me
so desirous to try him. There was a Tub at Totenham; you
know the successe of it.
Chan.
I ever thought Mistresse Stitchwell that was your
owne plot; and I love you dearely for it.
Wife.
Love me Mr
Changelove? Take heed my Husband
doe not dreame of it.
Chan.
That was her plot too. Now doe I see, some Women
can counterfeit wickednesse, aswell as many dissemble
honesty. Come Sir, let you and I drowne the memory of our
disasters in a cup of Sack.
Exeunt.
Wife.
You see gallants what successe attends your enterprises.
Wanton, that onely loves a merry life.
Stit.
And here's a double comfort; being wedded,
Shee's neither false, nor am I jealous headed.
Exeunt.
Accurst credulity. Could not those doubts
I shapt my jealousie, preserve my first,
And noble resolution! Had I urg'd it
With greater zeale, she must have forc't her reason
To understand m'intention without practise
Of farther tryall. Now she's lost for ever;
Though I should with submission and repentance
Beg reconciliation with her thoughts,
(Whose purity cannot endure to mixe
With mine that were so foule) she would reject it.
Ile back, and try. Lustfull affections hence.
My Lov's new cloth'd in vertuous innocence.
Exit.
Ge.
Frank We are friends: since we have shar'd disgrace,
We kill all malice. Henceforth I shall strive
To live more chaste. Lust is a gilded pill,
Which sinfull nature doth prescribe desire.
It mocks the sence with pleasure; but at last
The shining outside leaves a bitter tast.
Exit.
The fourth Scœne.
Enter Sam and Slip.Sam.
But prethee tell me, what's her condition?
Slip.
Womanish. She'l cry when shee's angry; laugh
when she's tickled, and be sick when she cannot have her
owne will.
Sam.
I meane her calling.
Slip.
She is call'd Cicily.
Sam.
Her profession then.
Slip.
Not very honest, and yet very honest. She cheats
all the world that thinks she is wanton: but you may find
by the late stories, that neither your Aunts nor Cousins can
keep their legs so close.
Sam.
Here's money for thee.
Slip.
You are as bountifull as a new made Knight, that
Sam.
Prethee tell me how was she borne?
Slip.
You had best aske the Midwife.
Sam.
This fellow trifles. Is the Keeper thy Master her
owne Father?
Slip.
Should you conjure the Devill into her dead Mother,
he might chance to tell you a lye.
Sam.
Is she a Gentlewoman or not?
Slip.
She is, and she is not. She is a Gentlewoman as she
loves pride: which makes Gentlewomen apt to fall; especially
those of the wayting forme. Then she is no Gentlewoman
because—because—
Sam.
Prithee no more.
Slip.
'Tis well you interrupted me, for I had no reason:
But Sir I will bring her to the barre of your presence, where
she may answere for her selfe, whilst I convert your bounty
into wholesome nourishment from a black Pot, and have
a bout with mine own sweet Turneup.
Sam.
Mine eye nere saw with aptnesse to desire
That beauty could enthrall m'unbounded thoughts
With passionate affection. Yet this piece
Is absolute, and such as cannot choose
But have a glorious mind. Love is a cement
That joynes not earthly parts above, but workes
Upon th'eternall substance, making one
Of two agreeing soules. Were she borne nobly,
(As surely such perfections cannot be
The issue of base parents) so that infamie
Might not succeed, here would I fixe my choyce.
Besides she's vertuous, and her education
Beseeming greatnesse: her discourse; pure language;
Iudgement, and full behaviour argue it.
The fifth Scœne.
To him, Ciceley.On some celestiall message to the soule
Of a departing Saint. White innocence
Is in each looke and feature, as all goodnesse
Had built their mansion in her. Welcome faire one,
I hope my pardon's seal'd for thus presuming
On what you might call rudenesse.
You have shapt
Needlesse apologie to excuse a guilt,
When none appeares. I owe much to your vertue
It doth command my thoughts.
Sam.
Which are so glorious,
I must admire the actions that expresse them.
I hope your judgement doth not call it ill,
That my intemperate anger being grownded
On vertuous suspition, did transport me
Beyond a moderate passion. I am satisfi'de.
Your innocence hath cleer'd my jealousie;
Which was I know instruction to my sister,
And th'onely working meanes that kept her safe.
The Gentleman she loves I finde is worthy:
Though his estate through the improvidence
Of a free minded Father, low enough.
My Vncle may repaire it: she hath hopes
T'inherite all. And trust me did I love
Where I perceiv'd desert, no inequalitie
Of fortunes blind additions, birth or state,
Should interpose a let to my enjoying.
Cice.
Sir, 'tis a noble resolution,
Pure love's a vertue Nature onely teacheth;
And's borne with generous Spirits that distinguish
That worke on grosser minds.
Sam.
How shee instructs me
In resolution? Fairest I shall use
None other circumstance, or paint a passion
My reasons eye allowes: though first my sense
Convey'd the knowledge of your outward forme,
And full perfectious, which must needs conteine
A richer inside. Vertue seldome dwells
But in a glorious frame. I love your goodnesse;
For that your beauty. In my new borne wishes
I have determin'd you the partner
Of all that's mine. My state's not very meane:
If 'twere, zeale should supply; I'de strive to merit
The free gift of your selfe, and in exchange
Returne my selfe.
Cice.
Sir, I could answere you
With your owne wordes: for I presume your thoughts
Are noble like your selfe; unmixt with flatt'ry,
Courtships infection; and the poysonous breath
That many times doth make pure love suspected
Whether it be sound or plaster'd to deceive
Our credulous weaknesse, till it hath possest us
With some foule leprosie. Your handmaid yeelds
To what agrees with honour; if the meannesse
Of her condition may presume to call
Her honest credit so.
Sam.
How you doe blesse me
As suddainly as my desires could shape
A meanes to worke it? Instantly the Church
Shall seale the bargaine.
Cice.
Would not you deliberate
Those acts are lasting, and concerne the being
Of all your after life?
Sam.
'Tis heavens providence
That hath dispos'd it. Thus I seale my vowes
The sixth Scœne.
To them Vncle and Tenants.Cice.
And here are witnesses.
Sam.
My Vncle! what makes he here? new doubts arise.
Vnc.
See, see; my thoughts were prophesie: both here.
Sam.
You are welcome to Totenham Court Uncle.
Vnc.
But you'r ill come Cosen. I had thought,
Your judgement had beene stronger than to aid
A foolish Sister with your fond indulgence
In her undoing. She may hide her face
My rage distracts me, and I know not how
To frame th'induction.
1. Neigh.
Why sir, this is not Mistris Bellamie, but another
in her clothes.
Vnc.
How's that knave? hay day
wife how came you by these? where?
Cice.
I am your Neece.
Vnc.
You my Neece?
Sam.
Shee's my Wife, Vncle.
Vnc.
Yet more plots! sure the Parson of Pancrace has
beene here.
1. Ten.
Indeed I have heard he is a notable joyner.
2. Ten.
And Totenham-Court Ale pays him store of tythe.
It causeth questionlesse much unlawfull coupling.
Vnc.
Pray where's your Sister? I'le not fright her
With many threats, but mildly worke her reason
To understand her errors; and prevent
Her ruine with disswasions. Coss shee's lost:
My love and care made uselesse.
Sam.
Is shee married Sir?
Vnc.
Yea; that's my greatest feare, shee's past recov'ry.
Woman, what ere you are, you have some hand in't:
These were her clothes.
The seventh Scœne.
To them Worthgood, Bellamie Keeper.Cice.
Let her selfe satisfie,
If passion hath not made you too uncapable.
Bella.
Alas mine Vncle.
Vnc.
Killing spectacle.
Come from his armes: if any force restraine thee
But thine owne freenesse (which I most doe feare)
I will reveng't with lawes extremitie.
Come from his armes I say.
Bella.
Vncle I owe
You many duties. One from natures precepts;
And morrall gratitude for your great love
Instructs me in another: but necessitie
In this compels a vertuous disobedience.
Vnc.
Girle hee's a begger. He had a prodigall father
That spent all ere he dyed: his whole estate
Depends but on the love of a rich Vncle;
And that's incertaine.
Wort.
Pray upbraid me not
With a dead mans misfortune. I have beene
A Soldier, and perhaps am apt to anger.
Vnc.
Threaten your fill Sir, so my Neece forsake you.
Sam.
Kinde Vncle, call not poverty a sin.
Wealth's but the glosse and outside of desert.
And for my Sister, since she loves this Gentleman,
Shee hath some portion left her; your estate
Would be a faire addition: but the loves
Of Vncles are uncertaine. The truth is,
I love this maid: shee's but this Keepers daughter;
Yet I would marry her, please her good Father
To be consenting.
Keep.
Blessings unexpected.
Sam.
Shee's richer then the Indies.
Vnc.
Shall mine age
Be curs'd to this misfortune. Ile build hospitals;
Where wooden legs and lazy hypocrites
Shall be mine heyres.
2 Ten.
And the Divell your Executor.
Vnc.
They scorne my easinesse.
I should have rag'd, and from a furious anger
Sent threats, not calme intreaties.
Keep.
That would likewise
Have beene as uselesse. I conceive such joy
At these events, they almost have confounded
My preparations to begin the Story
Reserv'd to crowne all. First doe you imbrace
A naturall Sister.
Wort.
Mine owne Sister, sir,
Suppos'd to have dy'd an infant!
Cice.
I still thought it
By an instinct.
Keep.
This is Cicilia Worthgood,
Whom my Wife nurst when both your Parents dy'd.
I have beene carefull of her education
Well as her person; though my love conceal'd
The knowledge of her selfe still from herself,
Least I should lose her: being th'onely comfort
I wisht from providence: Such was the duty
With which I honour'd your dead Auncestors
That brought me up.
Vnc.
Sir, this concernes not me.
Keep.
It doth your Nephew, to whose loves imbrace
I next commend her, and a portion too.
She shall inherit somthing that hath beene
Stor'd from my care; nor hath her industry
Wanted a share.
Cice.
Still let me call you Father;
And after being.
Wort.
What a knot of fortunes
Is here unty'd. Oh let me weare you ever
Vpon my heart with these.
Enter Servant hastily.
Mine Vncles servant! What new accident?
Ser.
Oh Sir, never was endeavour so tir'd. But I am
glad I have found you. Your Vncle's dead, and hath made
you his heyre.
Vnc.
Ha, ha! is't come about! nay then; are you married
neece? if not, about it presently whilst 'tis morning.
Thou shalt be mine heire likewise: love him; lye with him;
Get boyes, and any thing now; you have my consent.
To them Franke.
Bella.
And now I owe you duty.
Frank.
With what impudence
Shall I apparell my prepar'd excuse,
To make it passe? What meane so many people?
I am return'd to chide your cruell practice,
That mock't my vertue into wicked frailty,
And an abus'd beliefe. I am your convert;
And come with more then sorrow, satisfaction.
Let not the memory of my past errors
Pervert your thoughts into a worse opinion
Of my reclaiming, then if ill intents
Had nere exprest themselves.
Wort.
What meanes that Gentleman?
Bella.
Hee's one of those that—
whisper.
Cice.
If you'l have my Maidenhead,
A Husbands leave is light.
Sam.
As your Commodity:
How did you like it; Sir?
Enter Host.
Fran.
They will abuse me
Into a madnesse. Farewell vertuous Maid,
And blesse his bed deserves thee. Here I banish
All after-thoughts of Women; but t'admire
Added to be mans onely comfort here.
Exit.
Keep.
Most opportunely Widdow. I have sollicited
long; and if you will now consent, let's beare these
company.
Host.
With all my heart.
Kee.
Why then to Pancras: each with his lov'd consort;
And make it Holiday at Totenham-Court.
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