University of Virginia Library

Scena V.

Enter Captaine Quart-field beating Rose-clap. Sale-wit and Millicent labouring to part 'em.
Quart.
Sirrah, Ile beat you into aire.

Ros.
Good Captaine.

Quartf.
I will by Hector.

Ros.
Murder, murder, help.

Quartf.
You needy, shifting, cousning, breaking slave.

Mill.
Nay, Mr Salewit, help to part 'em.

Salew.
Captaine.

Quartf.
Aske me for mony, dog?

Ros.
Oh! I am killd.

Mill.
Help, Help.

Salew.
Nay Captaine.

Q.
Men of my coat pay?

Mill.
Jle call in neighbours. Murder. Murder.

Q.
Rascal
Jle make you trust and offer me petitions
To goe oth' score.

Ros.
Good, tis very good.

Mil.
How does thy head sweetheart?

Ros.
Away be quiet, Mill.

Salew.
Roseclap, you'l never leave this; I did tell you
Last time the Captaine beat you what a Lion
He is being askt for reckonings.

Mill.
So you did
Jndeed good Mr Salewit; yet you must
Ever be foolish husband.

Salew.
What if we
Doe owe you mony, Sir, ist fit for you
To aske it?

Ros.
Well, Sir, there is law; J say
No more, but there is law.

Quartf.
What law you Curre?
The law of Nature, Custome, Armes, and Nations,
Frees men of war from paiments.

Ros.
Yes, your Armes Captaine,
None else.

Q.
No souldiers ought to pay.

Sale.
Nor Poets:
All void of mony are privileged.

Mil.
What would you have,
Captaines and Poets, Mr Salewit saies,
Must never pay.

Salew.
No, nor be askt for monie.

Ros.
Still I say there is law.

Quartf.
Say that againe,
And by Bellona J will cut thy throat.

Mill.
You long to see your braines out.

Quartf.
Why you Mungrill,
You Iohn of all Trades, have we been your guests
Since you first kept a Taverne, when you had
The face and impudence to hang a bush
Out to three pints of Claret, two of Sack
In all the world?

Salew.
After that, when you broke,
Did we here finde you out, customd your House,
And helpt away your victuals which had else
Laine mouldy on your hands?

Ros.
You did indeed,
And never paid for't. I doe not deny,
But you have been my Customers these two yeares,
My Jack went not, nor Chimney smoakt without you.
I will goe farther; your two mouths have been
Two as good eating Mouths as need to come
Within my doores, as curious to be pleased
As if you still had eaten with ready money:
Had still the meats in season; still drunk more
Then your Ordinary came to.

Sale.
And your conscience now
Would have this paid for?

Ros.
Surely so I take it.

Sale.
Was ever the like heard?

Qua.
Tis most unreasonable
He has a hardned conscience. Sirrah, Cheater,
You would be questioned for your reckonings, Rogue.

Ros.
Doe you informe.

Quartf.
I heare one oth' Sheriffs
Paid for the boyling of a Carp a Mark.

Salew.
Most unheard of exactions!

Ros.
Yet surely, Captaine.
No man had cheaper reckonings then your selfe,
And Mr Salewit here.

Quartf.
How cheap?

Ros.
I say
No more good Captaine; not to pay Is cheap,
A man would think.

Quart.
Sir, Dont you reckon Aire,
And make it deare to breath in your house, and put
The Nose to charges?

Ros.
Right, perfumd Aire, Captaine.

Quartf.
Is not the standing of the salt an Item,
And placeing of the bread?

Ros.
A new way, Captaine.

Quartf.
Is not the folding of your Napkins brought
Into the Bill?

Ros.
Pincht Napkins, Captaine, and laid
Like Fishes, Fowles, or Faces.

Salew.
Then remember
How you rare sallets, Roseclap; one may buy
Gardens as Cheap.

Ros.
Yes, Mr Salewit, sallets
Taken from Euclide, made in Diagrams,
And to be eaten in Figures.

Quartf.
And we must pay
For your Iuventions, Sir.

Ros.
Or you are damnd,
Good Captaine, you have sworne to pay this twelve-month.

Quartf.
Peace you lowd, bawling Curre; doe you disgrace me
Before these Gallants, See if I don't kill you.