 | The citye match |  |
1
Actvs I.
Scena I.
Ware-house. Seathrift.I Promise you 'twill be a most rare plot.
Ware-h.
The Citty, Mr Seathrift, never yet
Brought forth the like; J would have them that have
Fin'd twice for Sheriffe mend it.
Seath.
Mend it? Why
Tis past the wit oth' Court of Aldermen.
Next Merchant Taylor that writes Chronicles
Will put us in.
Ware-h.
For, since I tooke him home,
Though, Sir, my Nephew, as you may observe,
Seeme quite transfigur'd, be as dutifull
As a new prentice; in his talke declaime
Gainst revelling Companions, be as hard
To be entic'd from home as my doore posts;
This reformation may but be his part,
And he may act his vertues. I have not
Forgot his riots at the Temple. You know Sr ---
Seath.
You told me Mr Warehouse.
Ware-h.
Not the sea
When it devour'd my ships cost me so much
As did his vanities. A voyage to th'Indyes
Has been lost in a night. His dayly suits
Were worth more then the stock that set me up.
For which he knew none but the Silk-mans book,
And studied that more then the Law. He had
His Loves too, and his Mistresses; was enterd
Among the philosophicall Madams, was
As great with them as their Concerners, and I heare
Kept one of them in pension.
Seath.
My sonne too
Hath had his Errours; I could tell the time
When all the wine which I put off by whole sale
He took againe in quarts, and at the day
Vintners have paid me with his large scores. But
He is reformed too.
Ware-h.
Sr, we now are friends
In a designe.
Seath.
And hope to be in time
Friends in Allyance, Sir.
Ware-h.
Ile be free,
I think well of your sonne.
Seath.
Who, Timothy?
2
A very Saint.
Ware-h.
Mistake me not, I have
The like opinion of my Nephew Sir,
Yet he is young, and so is your sonne, nor
Doth the Church-book say they are past our feares.
Our presence is their bridle now: Tis good
To know them well whom we doe make our Heires.
Seath.
It is most true.
Ware-h.
Well, and how shall wee knowe
How They will use their fortune, or what place
We have in their affection without tryall?
Some wise men build their own Tombes, let us try
If we were dead whether our Heires vvould cry,
Or their long clokes: this plot vvill do't.
Seath.
Twill make us
Famous upon the Exchange for ever. Ile home
And take leave of my vvife and sonne.
Ware-h.
And Ile
Come to you at your Garden house vvithin there.
Ex. Seath.
Enter Cypher.
Scena II.
Warehouse. Cypher.
Now Cypher, where's my Nephew?
Cyph.
In the Hall
Reading a letter vvhich a footman brought
Just now to him from a Lady Sir.
Ware-h.
A Lady?
Cyph.
Yes, Sir, a Lady in distresse; for I
Could overheare the fellow say she must
Sell her Coach Horses, and returne againe
To her Needle, if your Nephew not supply her
With mony.
Ware-h.
This is some honourable seamstresse.
I'me now confirmd: They say he keeps a Lady,
And this is she. well Cypher, tis too late
To change my project now. Be sure you keep
A Diary of his Actions, strictly marke
What company comes to him, if he stirre
Out of my house observe the place he enters.
Watch him till he come out: follow him disguised
To all his haunts.
Cyph.
He shall not want a spy Sir.
But Sir when you are absent if he draw not
3
Ware-h.
I hope he will not make my house a Taverne.
Cyph.
Sir I'me no Sybils sonne.
Ware-h.
Peace here he comes.
Enter Plotwell in a sad posture.
Scena III.
Ware-house. Plotwell. Cypher.
Good morrow Nephew: how now? sad? how comes
This melancholy?
Plotw.
Can I choose but weare
Clowdes in my face when I must venture, Sir,
Your reverend age to a long doubtfull voyage
And not partake your dangers?
Ware-h.
Fye, these feares
Though they become you, Nephew, are ominous.
When heard you from your Father?
Plotw:
Never since
He made the escape Sir.
Ware-h.
I heare he is in Ireland:
I'st true he tooke your sister with him?
Plotw.
So
Her Mistresse thinks, Sir, one day she left the Exchange,
And has not since been heard of.
Ware-h.
And Nephew
How like you your new course? which place preferre you
The Temple or Exchange? where are, think you,
The wealthier Mines in the Indies, or
Westminster Hall?
Plotw.
Sir my desires take measure
And forme from yours.
Ware-h.
Nay tell me your minde plainely,
Ith' City tongue. I'de have you speake like Cypher.
I doe not like queint figures, they doe smell
Too much o'th' Innes of Court.
Plotw.
Sir, my obedience
Is ready for all impressions which—
Ware-h.
Againe?
Plotw.
Sir I preferre your kinde of life, a Merchant
Ware-h.
Tis spoken like my Nephew: Now I like you.
Nor shall I ere repent the benefits
I have bestow'd, but will forget all Errours,
Exit Cyph.
As meere seducements: And will not only be
An Unkle but a Father to you: But then
You must be constant, Nephew.
Plotw.
Else I were blind
To my good fortune, Sir.
Ware-h.
Think man how it may
4
To th'sword and Cap of Maintenance.
Plotw.
(Yes, & make me
Sentence light bread, and pownds of butter on horse-back.)
Ware-h.
Have Gates and Conduits dated from thy yeare;
Ride to the Spittle on thy free beast.
Plotw.
(Yes,
Free of your Company.)
Ware-h.
Have the people vaile
As low to his trappings as if he thrice had fined
For that good times imployment.
Plotw.
(Or as if
He had his Riders vvisdome.)
Ware-h.
Then the workes
And good deeds of the Citie to goe before Thee,
Besides a troop of Varlets.
Plotw.
(Yes, and I
To sleep the sermon in my Chaine and Scarlet.
Ware-h.
How say you? Lets heare that.
Plotw.
I say, Sir, I
To sit at sermon in my chaine and scarlet.
Ware-h.
Tis right, and be remembred at the Crosse.
Plotw.
And then at Sessions, Sir, and all times else,
Master Recorder to save me the trouble,
And understand things for me.
Ware-h.
All this is possible,
And in the starres and windes: therefore deare Nephew,
You shall pursue this course, and to enable you
In this halfe yeare that I shall be away,
Cypher shall teach you French, Italian, Spanish,
And other Tongues of Traffique
Plotw.
Shall J not learne
Arithmetick too, Sir, and short-hand?
Ware-h.
Tis well
Remembred, yes, and Navigation.
Enter Cypher.
Cyph.
Sir, Mr Seathrift saies you 'will loose the tyde,
The boat staies for you.
Ware-h.
Well, Nephew, at my return
As J heare of your carriage, you doe know
What my intentions are; and for a Token
How much I trust your reformation,
Take this key of my Counting-house, and spend
Discreetly in my absence. Farwell. Nay
No teares; Ile be here sooner then you think on't.
Cypher you know what you have to do.
Cyph.
I warrant you, Sr.
Exit
Plotw.
Teares? yes my melting eyes shall run, but it
Shall be such teares as shall encrease the tide
To carry you from hence.
Cyph.
Come Mr Plotwell shall I
Read to you this morning.
Plotw.
Read what? how the price
Of sugar goes, how many pints of Olives
Goe to a jarre, how long wine workes at sea,
5
And herrings red?
Cyph.
This is fine, ha you
Forgot your Uncles charge?
Plotw.
Prithee what was't?
Cyph.
To learne the Tongues & Mathematiques.
Pl.
Troth
If I have tongue enough to say my prayers
Ith' phrase oth' Kingdome J care not; otherwise
I'me for no tongues but dry'd ones, such as will
Give a fine rellish to my backragg; and for Mathematiques,
I hate to travail by the Map, Me thinks
Enter Bright & Newcut.
Tis riding post.
Cyph.
I knew twould come to this.
Here be his Camerades.
Plotw.
What my Fleetstreet friends?
Exit Cypher.
Scena IV.
To Him Bright and Newcut.Br.
Save you Merchant Plotwell.
Newc.
Mr Plotwell
Citizen and Merchant, save you.
Br.
Is thy Uncle
Gone the wisht voyage?
Plotw.
Yes, he's gone, and if
He dye by th'way hath bequeathd me but some
Twelve hundred pound a yeare in Kent, some three-
Score thousand pound in money, besides Jewels, Bonds,
And desperate debts.
New.
And dost not thou fall downe
And pray to th'windes to sacrifice him to
Poore John and Mackrell?
Br.
Or invoke some rock
To doe thee justice?
New.
Or some compendious Canon
To take him off ith' middle?
Plotw.
And why my tender
Softhearted friends?
Br.
What to take thee from the Temple
To make thee an old Juryman, a Whittington?
New.
To transforme thy plush to pennystone, and scarlet
Into a velvet Jacket which hath seene
Aleppo twice, is knowne to the great Turke,
Hath scapt three shipwracks to beleft off to thee,
And knowes the way to Mexico as well as the Map?
Br.
This Jacket surely was imploy'd in finding
The Northeast passage out. Or the same Jacket
That Coryat died in.
Plotw.
Very good.
New.
In Ovid
There is not such a Metamorphosis
6
Or some handsome beast is courtly to this.
But for thee, Franck, O Transmutation!
Of Satin chang'd to Kersy hose I sing.
Slid his shooes shine too.
Br.
They have the Gresham dye.
Dost thou not dresse thy selfe by 'em? I can see
My face in them hither.
Plotw.
Very pleasant Gentlemen.
Br.
And faith for how many yeares art thou bound?
Plotw.
Doe you take me for a prentice?
New.
Why then what office
Dost thou beare in the parish this yeare? Let's feele,
No batteries in thy head to signifie
Th'art Constable?
Br.
No furious Iugge broke on it
In the Kings name?
Plotw.
Did you contrive this scene
By the way Gentlemen?
New.
No, but the Newes
Thou shouldst turne Trades-man, and this Pagan dresse,
In which if thou shouldst dye thou wouldst be damned
For an Usurer, is comicall at the Temple.
We were about to bring in such a fellow
For an Apostate in our Antimasque.
Set one to keep the doore, provide halfe-crowne roomes,
For Ile set bills up of thee, what shall I
Give thee for the first day?
Br.
I, or second?
For thou't endure twice or thrice comming in.
Plotw.
Well my conceipted Orient friends, bright Offsprings
Oth' female silkworme, and Taylor male I deny not
But you look well in your unpaid for Glory.
That in these colours you set out the Strand,
And adorne Fleet-street. That you may laugh at me
Poore Workingday oth' Citie, like two Festivals
Escapt out of the Almanacke.
New.
Sirrah Bright,
Didst look to heare such language beyond Ludgate?
Br.
I thought all wit had ended at Fleet-bridge.
But wit that goes oth' the score, that may extend
If't be a Courtiers wit into Cheapside.
Plotw.
Your Mercer lives there does he? I warrant you
He has the patience of a burnt Heretique:
The very faith that sold to you these silkes
And thinks you'l pay for em is strong enough
To save the Infidell part oth' world, or Antichrist.
Br.
W'are most mechannically abused.
New.
Let's teare
7
Br.
A match take that side.
Plotw.
Hold, hold.
Br.
How fraile a thing old velvet is, it parts
They teare off his Iacket
With as much ease and willingnes as two Cowards.
New.
The tenderst weed that ever fell a sunder.
Plotw.
Ha you your wits? what mean you?
Br.
Goe, put on
One of thy Temple suits and accompany us,
Or else thy Dimmity breeches be mortall.
Plotw.
You will
Not strip me will you?
New.
By thy visible eares we will.
Br.
By this two handed Beaver; which is so thinne
And light a Butterflies wings put to't would make it
A Mercuries flying hat and soare aloft.
Plotw.
But doe you know to how much danger
You tempt me? should my Uncle know I come
Within the ayre of Fleet-street—
New.
Will you make
Your selfe fit for a coach againe, and come
Along with us?
Plotw.
Well my two resolute friends
You shall prevaile. But whether now are your
Lewd motions bent?
New.
Weel'dine at Roseclaps, there
We shall meet Captaine Quartfield, and his Poet,
They shall shew us another fish.
Br.
But by the way we have agreed to see
A Lady, you Mechanick.
Plotw.
What Lady?
New.
Hast
Not thou heard of the New-sprung Lady?
Br.
One
That keeps her Coachman, Foot-boy, woman, and spends
A thousand pound a yeare by wit.
Plotw.
How? wit?
New.
That is her patrimony, Sir; tis thought
The fortune she is borne to will not buy
A bunch of Turnips.
Plotw.
She is no Gamester is she?
Nor carries false dice?
Br.
No, but has a Tongue,
Wert in a Lawyers mouth, would make him buy
All young Heires neere him.
Plotw.
But does no man know
From whence she came?
Br.
As for hir birth she may
Choose her own pedigree; it is unknowne
Whither she be descended of some Ditch,
Or Dutchesse.
New.
She's the wonder of the Court,
And talke oth' Towne.
Plotw.
Her name?
New.
Aurelia.
Plotw.
I'ue heard of her. They say she does fight duells,
And answers challenges in wit.
Br.
She has beene
Thrice in the field.
Plotw.
Ith' the field?
New.
Yes, in Spring-Garden.
Has conquerd with no second but her woman,
8
Plotw.
And no drum beat before her?
New.
No, nor Colours
Flourisht. She has made a vow never to marry
Till she be won by Stratagem.
Plotw.
I long
To see her.
Br.
Ith' name of Guild-hall who comes here?
Enter Timothy.
Scena V.
To them Timothy.Tim.
By your leave Gentlemen.
Plotw.
Mr Timothy!
Welcome from the New world. I lookt you should
Ha past through halfe the signes in Heaven by this.
And ha converst with Dolphins. What not gone
To sea vvith your Father?
Tim.
No faith, I doe not love
To goe to sea, it makes one lowsie, laies him
In vvooden sheets, and lands him a preservative
Against the plague. Besides, my Mother was
Afraid to venture me.
Plotw.
Believ't she's wise,
Not to trust such a wit to a thinne frayle barck
Where you had saild vvithin three inches of
Becomming a Jonas. Besides the tossing, to have
All the fierce blustring faces in the Map
Swell more tempestuously upon you then
Lawyers preferrd, or Trumpeters. And vvhither
Were you bound now?
Tim.
I only came to have
Your judgement of my suit.
Plotw.
Surely the Taylor
Has done his part.
Tim.
And my mother has done hers,
For she has paid for't. I never durst be seen
Before my Father out of Duretta and Serge.
But if he catch me in such paltry stuffes,
To make me looke like one that lets out mony,
Let him say Timothy vvas borne a foole.
Before he vvent he made me doe vvhat he list;
Now he's abroad Ile doe vvhat I list. What
Are these two? Gentlemen?
Plotw.
You see they weare
Their Heraldry.
Tim.
But I mean can they roare,
Beat Drawers, play at dice, and court their Mistresse.
I mean forthwith to get a Mistresse.
Plotw.
But
9
Rise such a gallant this morning.
Tim.
Alls on for that.
My Mother lost her Maiden-head that I
Might come first into th'world; and by Gods lid
Ile beare my selfe like the elder brother, I.
D'you think Ile all daies of my life frequent
Saint Antlius, like my sister? Gentlemen
I covet your acquaintance.
Br.
Your servant, Sir.
New.
I shall be proud to know you.
Tim.
Sir, my knowledge
Is not much worth; Ime borne to a small fortune,
Some hundred thousand pound, if once my Father
Held up his hands in Marble, or kneeld in brasse.
What are you Inns of Court-men?
New.
The Catechisme
Were false should we deny it.
Tim.
I shall shortly
Be one my selfe, I learne to dance already,
And weare short clokes; I mean in your next Masque
To have a part, I shall take most extreamly.
Br.
You will inflame the Ladies, Sir. They'l strive
Who shall most privately convey Jewels
Into your hand.
New.
This is an excellent fellow;
Who is't?
Plotw.
Rich Seathrifts sonne thats gone to sea
This morning with my Uncle.
Br.
Is this he
Whose sister thou shouldst marry? The wench that brings
Ten thousand pound.
Plotw.
My Uncle would fain have me,
But I have cast her off.
Br.
Why?
Plotw.
Faith she's handsome,
And had a good wit, but her Schoole-Mistresse
Has made her a rank Puritan.
New.
Lets take him
Along with us and Captaine Quartfield shall show him.
Plotw.
Twill be an excellent Comedy, and afterwards
I have a project on him.
Tim.
Gentlemen
Shall we dine at an Ordinary? You
Shall enter me among the Wits.
Plotw.
Sir, I
Will but shift cloths then wee'l associate you.
But first you shall with us and see a Lady,
Rich as your Fathers chests and odde holes; and
Fresh as Pygmalions Mistresse newly wakened
Out of her Alablaster.
Tim.
Lead on;
I long to see a Lady and to salute her.
Exeunt.
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