University of Virginia Library

ACT. IV.

Enter Cable, a Porter.
Cable.
Come your affair, Squire of the Frock! Briefly
Dispatch! Where is this courteous Damsel?

Porter.
At my House, Sir, it joyns to the Church-yard.

Cable.
O, I know the Mansion: It is a goodly
Pallace! All Genoa has not such another:
The Roof, as I suppose, is supported
With a Mud-Wall, and it is Thatcht.

Porter.
I Sir! I built it in that year I was
Collector for the poor, a profitable time,
And I thank Heaven, I made good use of't.

Cable.
Well, to the point, does she praise my good parts,
And tell thee too, that she knew me in London?

Porter.
She knew you by report, Sir, and hath heard
A reverend Friend of hers, a Bawd, speak much
In your behalf.

Cable.
There's never a Poor Gentleman
In England, so much beholden to those
Matronly people as I am: But proceed.
Would she saidst thou, have me come to visit her.

Porter.
Truly Captain that's her request, and she's
A modest Gentlewoman, she did so blush
When she desir'd me, there might be no Body
In the House when your Worship came to her.

Cable.
Is she handsome? But what a Leather-headed Dunce
Am I, to ask thee; thou hast no skill in Beauty.

Porter.
How Sir, no skill?

Cable.
In nothing Sir, I take it, but the weight
Of a Tray of Beef, when 'tis transported
Through the Shambles, on your right shoulder. Go
Commend me to her, say I am coming!

Porter.
I shall. Remember Sir 'tis hard by the Church.
[Exit Porter.

Cable.
This is some London Punck, late fled from persecution.
Enter Topsail.
O are you come?

Topsail.
You see I am your willing follower?
But what's the business you desir'd to intimate
So privately! Seawit, and's hot disciple
Are at hand, 'tis fit we prepare for action.

Cable.
I'll have no fighting Sir.

Topsail.
How Sir?

Cable.
I'll be as bold with you, as with my self,
We are both fools, and Seawit in his care
O'th' Ladies healths prescribes our fighting for
Their Mornings mirth? Sir this is palpable.

Topsail.
But is this certain?
But where is our revenge then?

Cable.
Troth to be serious in't will render us
More fit for scorn, we'll use his own weapons, wit;
Trust time and me!

Topsail.
There will be other treaties Sir, ere yet
A truce be made between us. I must enjoy
The Lady to my self, and you forgo
Your hopes, and claim.

Cable.
Take her, she is thine Topsail.

Topsail.
Say you so Sir?

Cable.
Yes, and I'll ease your wonder too.
There is a certain poor Twelve-penny Sinner
Come from London, will serve my turn as well
As any Lady in Europe; my Blood
Is humble, nor have I the patience Sir
T'expect or court, and then to be deny'd.
This game is sure, and easie to be got.

Enter Seawit, Inland.
Inland.
They are here Governor! By this day Gentlemen
When we could not find you, we thought you had
Been fighting in a deep Saw-pit; and how
Dear Blades, how is't? Let's to it cheerfully
Pelmel like loving friends.

Topsail.
Believ't Sir Furious,
He had a hard heart would deny you any thing.

Inland,
Governor give me thy right hand! Because
I ow thee for my breeding, and love thee tenderly,
Observe me Governor.

Seawit.
I do dear Charge! Proceed.

Inland.
Go chuse which side thou wilt, and let's fall to't.

Seawit.
The proffer's fair, and full of courtesie.
But Charge we must observe the Laws and Rules
Of fight; Seconds were first ordain'd to be
Spectators, and take care of an equality,
And just demeanor in the Principals.

Inland.
Governor, I hope you will not use me thus.

Seawit.
Your Blood doth boil too much, pray cool't a while.
These Gentlemen must both be search'd, and have
Their counsel ask'd in the main cause, which as
I told you, Charge is the just Laws of fight.

Inland.
Dispatch then Sir, or I will make new Laws.

Seawit.
You see Gentlemen, there's immaterial fire
In him, not to be quench'd: How thrives your anger.

Cable.
Much like your wit, it is declining Sir!
Towards our selves, and growing towards you.
Seawit do not believe us still fit properties
To wher your saucy fancy, and to make
Your Ladies laugh.

Topsail.
Nor do not bait us with
Your Whelp; for if he show his teeth, we shall
So pull them out, that he will scarce be able
To grind more Bisket.

Seawit.
Then you are both agreed?

Cable.
Not to be your fools, but to make you melancholly
If you continue your sport.

Topsail.
Yes, and to drive your Charge unto his Kennel,
Where he may keep company with's Hounds agen,
Husband his Tillage, and pay you the Rent;
You'll find more profit, and more safety too
In that, then in your bold designs on us.

Seawit.
Troth I am glad!

Cable.
Of what I pray?

Seawit.
To see two fools converted without a
Silenc'd Minister. You must be quarrelling,
And like tall Men of War, fright poor Ladies
With your love. 'Twas very comely, was't not?

Cable.
We commit our folly at our own cost.

Topsail.
And when we pay for't, we will have leave Sir
To cast up our own accompt.

Seawit.
This I must signifie unto my Charge.

Cable.
Take your pleasure, for we will take ours Sir.

Seawit.
Oh Charge! Sad tidings Charge! Now shall I pierce
Thy heart, more then thy Mistress sighs!

Inland.
Why, have they false Brest-plates? or Coats of Male on?

Seawit.
No, no, alas Charge, they are reconcil'd!

Inland.
O tame Devils, it is impossible!

Seawit.
Nay I exhorted 'em! Us'd all the power
Of Friendship, and of Grace, took each aside
And told 'em what a wicked thing it was
To be pacifi'd without blood. Pleaded
The cause with love and vehemence, as thus.
Good Friends, dear Hearts, do but kill one another,
Take care your Honor lies upon't, or do
But order't so, that one may die.

Inland.
And the Slaves would not.

Seawit.
So far from it,
That as I am a Soldier, they are ready
To put out Money, and buy Annuities
For life.

Inland.
Give room, I will assault them both.

Cable.
Let him come, he shall make less haste back again.

Topsail.
Yet take his choice too, and have single opposition.

Inland.
Unhand me Governor—

Seawit.
Hear me a word,
Let me but breathe a Secret in thine Ear,
And take thy course—. Are these dull men
Fit Combatants t'encounter thee in battle?
Know Charge thou warm'st me
With thy brave flame. I love thee Charge, and can
Enjoy no rest, nor sleep, for taking care
To provide thee quarrels: This happy hour
Thou shalt defeat one of the Kings enemies.

Inland.
Where is he, let him in!

Seawit.
If I have truth about me Charge, this is
The very point of time, wherein the Fo
Threaten'd to approach!

Inland.
The Kings enemy! Let me kiss thee Governor—

Seawit.
This morning I did incense the Dutch Captain
To call you to account for striking him,
And he hath sworn more oaths, then hours
Past since, to send him a challenge.
I wonder 'tis not come!

Topsail.
Farewel Sir Furious! Be rul'd by your Governor,
And let your fellow subjects live.

Cable.
And when you kill, kill Hares, and purlue Deer,
There's more sport in't.

Seawit.
Let them alone, th'are Justices of Peace.

Inland.
Rogues! Go tame Slaves:
Your Swords are fitter for a Kitchin, then
The War, they will serve to rost Larks upon.

Topsail.
Away, thou see'st he's mad! I'll to the Lady
Loveright, and pursue my hopes.

Cable.
And I to my Girl of Cheapside.

[Exeunt Cable, Topsail.
Seawit.
This was th'appointed place, 'tis strange he is
Not come, O he has sent it by his Boatswain—

Enter Dutch Boatswain.
Boats.
Ick heb een brief veur den English Ruller!

Seawit.
Yaw, yaw dit is de selve Ruller.
He has a Letter for you Charge. I'll enterpret.

Inland.
A challenge in Dutch from the Captain
I beat on the Key. My bonny Burger how
I affect thy Flanders Mettal. Read Governor.

Seawit.

Englishe Rullers warome hebb ghy
myn up den Cop gheslachen? Ghy wete niet darome
mot ghy sturone. So ghy willt accorderen
wy mot up den Sea met we Scypen, vechten ghy
synt nock een grooden Rutter, anders een Schellum
dit is meen virendt ghet him te vele den
plalse en den tyte Ne mier
Hans van Bumble.

This is the finest meddly of both Tongues
Confus'd, that e'er I heard.

Inland.
What says he Governor?

Seawit.

English Knight, why have you
cond me o'er the Pate? you know not: Therefore
you must dye. If you'll agree, that we
shall meet with several Ships, and fight it out
at Sea, you are still a good Knight, otherways
A Rogue. This is my Friend, give him to understand
the time and place, no more,
Hans van Bumble.

Inland.
My honorable Hans! my brave old Bumble,
Why I do love thee more, then thou lov'st Butter!
I will embrace thy long loose slopp, and kiss
Thy drivell'd Beard, though drown'd in Breda Beere.
Is this his Second, I'le fight with him too!

Seawit.
He'le be aboard his Captaines Ship! Believe
It Charge, you'le have a shrewd fight on't.

Inland.
No matter! it is the Kings Enemy,
And let the Cannons roar, 'tis fit our Soules
Pass thorough a Smoak, ere they ascend the Clouds.
I do begin to love him, whorson Herring-eater.
Who'ld think that Fish would stir up so much mettall.

Seawit.
What shall I say unto this worthy Peere.

Inland.
Desire his Captaine meet me in this walke
An houre hence, that we discourse friendly;
And then appoint both time and place.

Seawit.
Secht tot de Capitaine so by belieft
Strachens hier comen, Hy salt sier well ghtractect
Weson: en dan de tyt en den plate weten.
This Dutch comes forth like Treason on the rack!

Boat.
Ick verstoe ye ick verstoe ye. Ghoden dach!
[Exit Boatsen.

Inland.
Governour, the World will eternise our
Friendship; I cannot chuse but kneel to thee.
[Kneels.
This is the Kings Enemy, thou shalt lend me
Thy Ship. Our amity is seal'd: no deniall.

Seawit.
Rise Charge!—Do not I know, that if I rigg
My Cockboat, and arme thee with a Birding-piece,
Thou wilt beate him.

Inland.
I, but the Winds may take his part, and in
Foule weather, What's a Cock-boat to a Ship?

Seawit.
No more, we will discourse it as we walke.
Here will be new vexation to rid me
Of this request.

Enter Nightingale.
Night.
My Lady, Sir, is much importunate
To speak with you.

Seawit.
I shall attend you to her. More plots stirring?
Come along Charge, thou shalt board this Hollander,
And lead him Captive through Stafford-Town.

[Exeunt omnes.
A Curtain drawn by Dash (his Clerk) Trifle discover'd in his Study, Papers, Taper, Seale and Wax before him, Bell.
Trifle.
O are you come? 'Tis well, I was about
To ring for you.

Dash.
Your Clients wait, dispatch, Sir.

Trifle:
They come for news; Man's nature's greedy of it.
We wise Men forge it; and the credulous vulgar
Our Instruments disperse it. I have it for'em.
News of all sorts, and sizes. I have study'd hard Dash,
And from the generall Courants, Gazets,
Publick and private Letters from all parts
Of Christendome, though they speak contraries,
Weigh'd and reduc'd 'em to such certainties,
That I dare warrant 'em authenticall.
Under my hand, and seale. Captain, you are wellcome.

Enter Topsaile.
Topsaile.
Your Friend Sir Solemne.

Trifle.
I shall give you proofs,
And reall ones, I am yours. I have wrote here
To one that will believe it first, then vent it
In the Tavernes of Mark, and eating Acadamies,
Frequented by the Gamesters, that you are
Assur'd to my Lady Niece.

Topsaile.
Have you mov'd her for me,
And got her grant?

Trifle.
No, I have not yet
Spoke one word to her; but be confident
She'le make it good, rather then I; her Uncle
Shall suffer in my credit, for reporting
A thing which was not.

Topsaile.
This is a weak foundation,
For me to build on.

Trifle.
It shall pass for news,
And I will make it true, this does appear strange news
To your Captainship, but you shall hear stranger,
And have it better'd too.

Topsaile.
Sure the Wind and noise
He heard in my Ship, are humming in his head still.

Trifle.
Dash, call in Scarecrow, Zeale the wrong way, and Prattle,
I will dispatch them first. But for the gull
[Exit Dash.
Your Seawit put upon me, I think I have taken
A full revenge.

Topsaile.
Pray you in what, Sir Trifle?

Trifle.
I have writ to a Merchant, and I know it will be publisht
On the Exchange, that he and his Charge, Sir Inland
Were bastinado'd on the Key by a Dutchman,
One Captain Bumble.

Topsaile.
This is quite contrary,
Bumble was cudgell'd.

Trifle.
No matter, so it break
His credit in the City, and undoe him.
I have my ends.

Topsaile.
But, say he call you to accompt for't?

Trifle.
I am not bound to answer him being a Justice,
And Duels too forbidden. Then in the Law
'Twill bear no Action.

Topsaile.
The more the pitty,
This Priviledges cowardize, to wrong true valour.

Trifle.
Give me leave, you trouble me, matters of more weight
Are to be treated of. If you would acquaint your friends,
And at the first hand with the designes of Europe,
Draw out your Table-books.

Enter Dash, Scarcrow, Zeale, Pratle.
Topsaile.
What's here, Kent-street,
Or Bedlam broke loose?

Trifle.
Contemne 'em not, they are usefull
To propagate my designes, set 'em in file.
Now hear with reverence. Scarcrow to you.
You would know this Summers service? on my credit,
(Though I grieve to report it) Rome is taken
By the Ships of Amsterdam, and the Pope himself
To save his life, turn'd Brownist. Here's a Letter
From the Matron of the Curtezans that confirmes it.

Scarr.
May I swear this?

Trifle.
And get more Charities by it
From your little ruffi'd Geneva-Man, or Flemming,
They being apt to believe that which they wish for,
Then by your lame-legg, or Passe-port.

Topsaile.
The first truth he spake to day.

Trifle.
Let me see. Here's something rarer
But of undoubted truth. The Spanish Fleet
That anchor'd at Gibralter, is sunk
By the French Horse.

Topsaile.
This is rare indeed.

Trifle.
From Florence,
All the Silk-wormes are dead, and an Edict made
Unbenefic'd Ministers must give o're their Sattin,
And Damask Cassacks, and weare Friers habits;
Punks must not trade in Taffata's; Servingmen
Must rip out the Plush intrailes of their Liveries,
And lay 'em up for their Masters. From the Low-Countries;
Antwerp is plunder'd, Brussels burnt, the Canon
Brought before Lovaine, and the Prince of Orange
Stands to be Emperour.

Topsaile.
The Emperour lives.

Trifle.
But is to die the Tenth of October next,
And he has it in reversion. From France,
Rochel recover'd by the Hugonets,
And the fifth of July last, yes 'tis the fift.
The Cardinal Richelieu as he slept in his Tent,
Had his head cut off with an invisible Sword,
By the great Constables Ghost.

Topsaile.
For shame give over.

Trifle.
This is all that's certain.

Zeale.
Antechrist is converted,
That is enough, it will be joyfull tidings
To the exil'd Congregation.

Scar.
May you lie long Sir.

Trifle.
How Rogue?

Scar.
Live I would say, and like your Worship.

Trifle.
I had forgot thee Prattle; thou shalt have thy dose too.
Venus and Mars are in conjunction, here
I finde it, and so often this drie year,
That every Wench unmarry'd, that knows Man,
Shall be seven times brought to Bed, and the Fathers name
In Hebrew Characters, wrote on the Childes forehead.

Prattle.
No matter whose the Father, so I have work,
And eate the Groaning Pie, and drink, and talke
Over the Gossips Bowle, health to your Worship.

[Exeunt Dash, Scarcrow, Zeale, Prattle.
Trifle.
This morning was well spent.

Topsaile.
It may serve for Ling.
For the Devils breakfast. But what's your end Sir Trifle?
Or the delight you take, if there be any
In broaching these unpossible untruths?

Trifle.
All's true I assure you. Can the Gazets lie?
Or the Corants faile? or grant it should be false,
It will give satisfaction to the State,
How the People stand affected; and for the pleasure
Of publishing certain varieties, you call lies,
I have another for't. But I'le dispatch you
With my Neece, then tell you further.

Topsaile.
Make that truth.
Though you lie your whole life after, I regard not.

[Exeunt.
Enter Porter and Cable.
Porter.
Is this the House.

Cable.
Thy house: the roof so poor.
And the inside so rich! Impossible.
Come, tell me truly, though you built it as you said now
By cheating the poor Mans box. Where did you steale
This gorgeous furniture.

Porter.
'Tis my brave guests, Sir,
To entertain your Captainship. And if
You wonder at this, ere long you'l be astonisht.

Cable.
I am already. Fortunes coming towards me
Faster then I durst hope for I am a made Man,
I feel't with joy, this is no 12 penny Trade,
That cozens the Marshall, under a pretence
Of selling Ale or Tobacco, or two penny Pasties,
Part Catt, part Mutton

Porter.
How he ruminates.

Cable.
It must be so, 'tis some rich wanton, that
Hath heard of my strong performance, and e'en longs
To beare a Boy of my begetting, for
The maintenance of the Sport. Gramercie back,
When drowth beggers Graziers, and much Rain poor Farmers,
Thou art a sure revenue. Ha these are not
[Musick.
The Scrapers of the Town, that fright mens sleeps,
And are paid in Chamberlie. Say they should be the Musitians
Of the Lady Loveright, and she her self come hither
To prove if the report be true goes of me.
I must nor fear, nor hope too much A Song too,
And a light note as I live,

Porter.
A SONG.
A Banquet brought in, Carrack following.

Cable.
Beyond belief! I dreame sure! prethee give me
A tweake by the Nose, to assure me that I wake.
Too hard you Rogue.

Carrack.
This shall come softer to you,
And print a wellcome on your Lips.

[Salute.
Cable.
Rare!
Once more I pray you. Here's no Ambergris
To help the foulness of the Lungs, your breath is
As sweet as my Mothers Red Cowes.

Carrack.
Which you have kiss'd Sir.

Cable.
Every one as he likes. You know the Proverb.
A delicate Doxie, there's fire in her eyes!
A moist palme, which assures me that she will not
Be satisfy'd with a Kickshaw. Venus assist me.
If I do not my labour truly at the first,
I am turn'd out of Service.

Carrack.
Pray you sit Sir.
You are not merry.

Cable.
I'le laugh if you'le lie down:
My appetite's sharp. I have kept a long Lent Lady.
I need not your Eringos, I bring 'em with me,
Or I can find 'em here, shall's to't?

[Kissing her.
Carrack.
To the Banket:
That follows by degrees. Or if you please
We'le dance to stirr our blood.

Cable.
Fie no, no dancing.
Look on my Bulk, I was not built for Capring
I'le rather sit.

Carrak.
Fill Sirrah. How? in a Thimble?
When I am to drink a health? A bigger Glass.
To the good success of the Fleet.

Cable.
I like this well.
[Pledges and drinks again.
To my Pinnace Lady.

Carrack.
Is it well rigg'd?

Cable.
And sailes well.

Carrack.
You must not forget your friends. To every Ship
A health, and then to bed.

Cable.
She'le make me drunk sure.

Carrack.
Ah Captain Flinch!

Cable.
Pray you let me sound a parly,
The Third Grape is for Bacchus, not for Cupid.
Besides if I am drunck I shall get Wenches,
And I know you would have a Boy.

Carrack.
'Tis that I aime at.

Cable.
Hear me a word. You are rich?

Carrack.
My Neighbours say so,
And I have Lands.

Cable.
But held in Petticote tenure?
I am bold with you Lady.

Carrack.
For that I effect you.

Cable.
I see you can drink, and dance. Can you sing me asleep too?

Carrack.
I had rather keep you waking, I hate a Dormouse.

Cable.
And you'le be private to me?

Carrack.
I'le know no man else.

Cable.
I am made for ever, and you'l indure my roughness?

Carrack.
The rougher the better.

Cable.
Let the Wind stay in this quarter
Till all the victual be spent, nay the voyage lost,
I am provided for.
Let's to bed Wench.
We prate too long.

Carrack.
Stay Sir, there is one Ceremony
To be observ'd first, and then all is perfect.

Cable.
What Ceremony?

Carrack.
You must Marry me.

Cable.
Marry a Whore? I'le be Eunuch'd first. I begin
To know that voice, and face.

Porter.
You have seen mine too,
Her disguis'd Porter, Sir.

Cable.
I am fool'd on all sides.

Carrack.
Foole not your self. I do confess I love you,
But love you honestly.

Cable.
There's Wormwood in
That wicked word honesty.

Carrack.
You'le find it wholsome Captain,
When you have digested it. You may perceive
I can take any shape, or wayes to please you,
And can maintain both too. You shall not build
Upon uncertainties, as Dice or dead paies,
Nor stand in fear of the Commissary my deare Cable,
Nor talk of Monsters you have seen in the deeps
For a dinner Captain, nor swear your self in credit
With your Woollen Draper, or make his Wife your Agent
For service done, or to be done, you shall not, if you marry me,
And why should you refuse it?
My breath's as sweet in an honest Womans habit
As in a Strumpets, and my skin as smooth, and when you please
May prove as well in Bed too.

Cable.
A taste of it first as thou art.

Carrack.
Not a bit Captaine.
But if you do desire to be still a rambler
Till you are so pepper'd, that you hate the sight of't,
And then become a prey to your Apothecary,
And defie your Chirurgion, or perhaps
Be practis'd on in the Spittle, who can help it
Both waies are markt before you, take your choice
Be honest, and you may be rich, and happy.
Continue a Whoremonger, and you know what follows.
You may consider, and so farewell sweet Captain.

[Exit.
Porter.
You look as you had labour'd hard, will you please
To have a Cawdle Captain? I have seen
One like you in a Play, after hot service,
Spoon it upon the Stage.

Cable.
Avant you Rascall.
What will become of me? no sport but on
Such hard conditions? No meanes to take down
My Mettle but a Priest? Must I be honest
Against my will? And a Woman the first Temptress
To eate forbidden Fruit, to fright me from it?
Shall I steere this, or that way? yet I find
My resolution wavering as the Winde.

[Exit.
Enter Bumble, an English Skipper.
Bumble.
De Tenfill! wat wilt tou Sechen.

Skipper.
I cannot bear this Captain. I have renounc'd
England this Ten year, and serv'd in your ship
Against my own Country, and still thus us'd!

Bumble.
War is de Botsen würeom comet hy niet!

Skipper.
Why Sir your Botsen delivered your Message.
To the young Knight.

Bumble.
Yaw well? wat secht de Knight?

Skipper.
Why Sir the Knight speaks lovingly, and desires
To meet you a shore, and thank you for your
Challenge: and then he will appoint the time
And coast where you shall fight! This your Botsen
Bad me tell you, who is now gone aboard
To make things ready for the combat.

Bumble.
Ick veistoe. ick veistoe, Ick sall meet him on Schore.
Mare you will oke veckten, allens de Rutter
Is your Landsman.

Skipper.
I Sir, I'll help to kill him too, though we
Are both born within a Musket shot, 'twere fit
I should lose my Moneths pay else.

Bumble.
Dat is vele, dat is vele.

Skipper.
You'le meet him a'shore first in the morning?

Bumble.
Yaw, yaw, te morgben! comt 'tis goet Englishman.

[Exeunt.
Enter Warwell (a Paper in his hand)
Warwell.
Is this the Soldiers Character, that she
Would have me imitate? Death on my hopes!
I am abus'd, markt out the pleasure and
The triumph of her scorne!
Should I attend
Her Laws, and by slow method and degrees,
Raise up to that perfection she enjoynes:
Or this strict written Scedule intimates,
I might marry her but so late, that it.
Were fit t'enter my Coffin, and her bed
At once! I fear I am supplanted by
Some Rival dearer in her Eyes. This is
The Chamber of retreat: where she doth use
To waste the hotter time of day in conference.
My Nature and my Manners must consent
A while, unlawfully to hide me here,
That I may listen and observe. She comes.

[He steps behind the Hangings.
Enter Loveright, Jointure.
Jointure.
Madam, I do acknowledge you the best
Remainder of our chiefest blood, and by
That title, and your former love, you ought
To challenge my respects: but not so much
As shall restraine the freedome of my heart.

Loveright.
'Tis no delight to me t'observe, and chide
Your guilteness, but when it doth proceed
To falsehood, and hypocrisie, I must speak.

Joynture.
Speak all your knowledge and your wrath; I shall
Have power to vindicate my self.

Loveright.
You were the cautious Damsel that had read
Moralitie, that lov'd not with your Eyes,
But with your braine, and were your heart not in
Your tender breast, but in your purse: Thrift was
Your chief designe, and all your Lovers vertue was
His Land. Soldiers were transitory things,
Fitter to beget a Famine, then Children:
That march o're others Lands, but never plough
Their own.

Jointure.
And what would this inferr?

Loveright.
But little reputation unto you,
That after all these documents could traine
Seawit t'a private meeting in the Orchard:
Although belov'd of me, and first my choice.

Jointure.
You have your Spies?

Loveright.
Yes, Orchard Spies? forsooth.
Whilst you are gathering unlawfull fruit!

Warwell.
Patience, behold thou trivial god of Love,
A stranger can imploy her envy, and
Her strife, but I am cancel'd in her scorne.

Enter Seawit.
Jointure.
Here comes the Gentleman; if you can show
A charter to ingross the worthiest to
Your self, or by his promise can assure
Your interest more strong then mine, I will
Disclaime my nuptiall hopes; and dance
When Hymen celebrates your joyfull day.

Loveright.
Speak Sir, and with the fervency of truth,
If to my Cousin here, you have ingag'd
Th'assurance of your love, more then to me?

Seawit.
And is this the business I am sent for?

Loveright.
Is't not of consequence enough? freely
Declare your self. I know your spirit is
Too noble to disguise your thoughts.

Jointure.
And I with equal confidence, both of
His vertue and his love, expect my doome.

Seawit.
D'you hear Gentlewomen, pack up your Ribbons,
Your Lawne, your Pendants, and your Chains, with all
The rest of your free Virginity Trinkets, and
Get you gone out of the Harbor, or by
This light I'le plant my Ship against your House,
And batter the Walls about your small Eares.

Loveright.
Sir, this is strange, I am not guilty of
Your anger.

Jointure.
Nor I, your own heart can witness.

Seawit.
Were you never beaten? never for stealing
Conserves? never swadled for losing your
Sleve silk, or making your work foule at Tent-stitch;
Never for picking Plums out of Mince-Pies,
Or breaking o'your Lutes through negligence.
Had neither of you an old Grandmother
With a short Ebon-staffe, that us'd to beat you
For these faults? Sure, had you been ever beaten
You would not dare to use me thus,

Jointure.
This was not wont to be; your envy Madam
Hath thus incens'd and alter'd him to me.

Loveright.
My envy? In thy own false breast seek for
The guilt with which thou striv'st to slander me.
I know thy arts, but I will lay my self
And fortunes at his feet 'ere thou shalt have him.

Warwell.
I cannot hold! Hear me fantastick Maid!

Seawit.
What another new Jigg to the old tune!

Warwell.
I now am learn'd in all thy falsehood, and
Thy scornes, th'are such perhaps as may perplex
Anothers love, now they are tir'd with mine;
Know thou hast vex'd my nature, till't begin
To rellish of the Devill, for all the Joyes
I feel, is hope of fellowship in my
Tormenting paines. Your Darling here may suffer too.

Seawit.
Excellent good! A male Conspirator.

Warwell.
Though you have fool'd me to a vaine destruction of
My Mony, and my Books, my Land's still left,
With which I shall endow one better try'd
In constancy.

Loveright.
This is a rudeness, Sir,
Not fit for to be forgiven, thus to intrude
Into my privacies; but I'le divorce
Me from your sight, let me behold you here
No more. For you false Cousin, be you sure
You are but little welcome to my Company,
Therefore divide the House, this part is mine.

Jointure.
Mine the remotest from your eyes and sight.

[Exeunt Loveright, Jointure, several wayes.
Warwell.
You Sir have the felicity to weare
The Garland, and disdain it too. You see
The Ladies strive who shall be first preferr'd
Unto your choice, whil'st my poor wreath is Willow!

Seawit.
Of what Province I pray are you? What Bridegroome
Are you? or what Kings Son that you should think
I am oblig'd to bear this familiarity?
You weare no Petticoat for priviledge!

Warwell.
I thank you Sir! and yet I scarce believe
That you will make the Lady yours, and me
So tame, to be your merriment:
You shall not carry her
With so much ease.

Seawit.
Agen! In good Faith hold your tongue,
Or I shall run my Hilts between your teeth.

Warwell.
You can be angry then, some comfort yet
That she hath plac'd her Love on one dares fight:
Whose courage makes him fit to render me
A satisfaction for her vantries.

Seawit.
You durst not be so merry sure, but that
The house and Women must not be disturb'd.

Warwell.
Still pleasant with your fortune! Goe meet me
If that thy Title, or thy Blood, dare prompt
Thee to't, ith' Meadow Westward to the Sea.
Simple, and guarded as thou art.

Seawit.
Lead on the way. Thy scarres are fit to be
Rebuk'd. Thou noble Planet of the Day
Showred when thou declin'st, as thou didst weare
My anger in thy looks, thou being set
May'st proudly rise unto the publick view
Agen, but one of us or both, before
Thy light is lost, shall sink, and rise no more.