 | The Wizard |  |
Sce. 5.
Enter Mr Shallow speaking as at the door]Mr Butler J thank you for my beaver; J pray let you and
J be better acquainted; pray tell your Brother the Cook J am
not forgetfull of him, and doe intend to call upon him 'erelong:
t'is a policy to be league with the servants still, and a greater
matter with whome and with what degree of the family you
sort, your Cook and your Butler are men by whome there is
somewhat got, nor are the dary wenches to be rejected, nor
altogether the Chamber mayds, there is somewhat to be got
by them to; as for your Gentlemen Usher, Stuard, and Coachmen
they are but lean acquaintance and accordingly respected.
Enter Hog.
Hog:
Yonder he is, J haue waited this howre at the butry
belly is the Cooks perpetuall curse, which he would fill in
hopes of breaking it; 'tis not to be thought what this thin
weazell devours, well J haue flesh for him will make his skin
reach yet J warrant him.
Shall:
Now J am victuald for an encounter with any of
these Ladies.
Hog:
And J haue one newly rigd for you.
Shall.
As for the Lady Cœlia let her goe to the Divell and
she will, J haue no stomack that way.
Hog:
He's for Delia on my Conscience, she snaps him sure.
Shall.
And yet J will not leaue her so, though the rest of
her Sutors were not as good as their word, J will.
Hog:
This is not as J would haue it, he must shake off her.
Shall.
J will part upon faire terms; J promis'd to sup with
her, and J will perform, J scorne to flinch.
Hog:
O, is that all, now, am J to enter, how now my friend,
J protest you are faln away extreamly of late, what giuen to
Melancholy, man?
Shall:
Hog? thy very name doth cheer me, J am never well
but when J am thinking of thee, Sirrah J must use your
trotters from Lady to Lady, J haue giuen o're Cœlia she is
diuelishly bent; now J am for another nay J will goe through
them all.
Enter Clerimont.
Cler:
J cannot find my Engine out; J haue espy'd him but
who is that with him, what Shallow? J had thought his lank
sides, and spindle shanks durst not haue come near a Pandar;
Hog will spend him to the bones and make a spare rib of him,
Hog drops a Letter
J marry ther's a cast of his office already, this knavery shall
make for me anon; J must observ:
Hog:
Did you drop nothing Mr Shallow?
(takes ye Letter up)
Shall.
Not J, why, what paper's that?
Hog:
Jt is directed to you; some Loue letter on my life that
Delia hath scaterd, she's full of these knavish tricks. Js't not so.
Shall:
Wilt thou say nothing Sirrah.
Hog:
Nay if it be secret J am not greedy of it.
Shall.
Come, you shall know all; Sirrah who dost think
this Letter came from?
Hog:
J guess from Delia.
Shall:
No faith, from Cœlia's sister, ô tis a cunning gipsey
Hog:
From Penelope, you amaze me, sure 'tis impossible,
what's the contents?
Cler:
Well plaid Fox, he hath the goose by the neck and
fetches him over daintily.
Shall:
Tis Loue Sirrah, would'st thou ever thought that this
harlotry Lady should have writ to me Loue letters, whome she
cald clowne, clotpate, Loggerhead; hark J will read it to thee.
Deare Mr Shallow, impute it to the power of loue that from
your greatest hater, J am turn'd unto your constant admirer;
and those matters of simplicity and blunt behaviour, which
J once made the subject of my exorbitant braine, seems now
unto me as the emblems and markes of an honest mind, not
power to render me hate for my former contempt of these
your eminent endowments, and to mock at that loue which
you haue wrought in me, but yet you know it is ignoble
cruelty that rages against penetency, the Lyon tares not an
humble and dejected prey; consider my repentance and
make the construction.
Yours by the power of loue Penelope.
Hog:
Will you beleiue this is serious, read it againe.
Shall:
The Lyon? J am much alterd in a day and a night
from an ass as she cald me to a Lyon; wel, The Lyon tares
not an humble & dejected prey; that is not so pat; for J doe
likely fall upon any thing that is before me; Consider my
repentance, and make the construction; J know not what to
make of that J will deliberate; Deare Mr Shallow
Hog:
That is an abuse in the very front, she makes a Deer
of you, or will make you one if you marry her, an horned
beast, an Actæon.
Shall:
J vow now thou saist right, she intended to make
me a Cuckold, but forward; impute it to the power of loue
that from your greatest hater J am turn'd to your constant
admirer.
Hog:
Now all that is complement.
Shall:
J, J, pox ont, J cannot indure it.
Hog:
Jf she meant any thing indeed, she would deale plainly
with you.
Shall:
And those matters of simplicity and blunt behaviour;
was not Simplicitie enough there Hog to be remembred?
J, and too much, but she explains your defect by a
Synonyma and aggravation.
Shall:
J, both, she makes me a Synonyma and aggravation;
well J will read on. Which J once made the subject of my
exorbitant braine, seems now unto me as the emblemes and
marks of an honest minde, not polluted with the colour and
art of the times. whats all this? this might be very well left
out for ought that J know; it is in your power to render me
hate for my former contempt of these your eminent endowments;
that's true now and good, but here is Eminent Endowment
is meer superfluity as thou saist.
Hog:
Well, read forward,
Shall:
And to mock at that loue, which you haue wrought
in me, but yet you know it is ignoble cruelty that rages
against penitency; against Penitency? that is false to, a meer
lie, J know no such matter: The Lyon tares not an humble
and dejected prey; consider my repentance and make the
construction,
Yours by the power of loue Penelope.
that is good now.
Hog:
Yes, yes, but that is complement, ordinary courtship
J am yours Sr, your servant, yours more then mine; owne,
they are words of course, we giue them to every body.
Shall:
Dost thou not think she loues me then?
Hog:
Yes for her own ends, will you be ruld by me? J
know she vents all her secrets to Delia, who loues you to, far
beyond this Lady; J will place you where you shall not be
you judge most sincerely and unfeignedly affects you, take.
Shall:
Jt is agreed.
Cler:
Now must J appear; Hog! how now, what you are
for new masters, old ones are forgot.
Hog:
Master J haue rare turkey eggs in a corner against the
operation.
Cler:
Come aside a little there's gold for thee.
Hog:
Good Mr excuse me, J'le refund, here's your money
back againe, J doe not like the motion.
Cler:
Come doe not play the fool; be sure you doe it or J'le
spoil your Letter-plot.
Hog:
O good Sir it shall be done; what a rogue was J to let
him know of it;
(Aside)
only doe you entertaine a few words
with him, whilst J goe about the businesse.
Exit.
Cler:
J will. now must J talk of victualls or he is gon;
Mr Shallow.
Shall:
Young Clerimont! how dost gallant boy?
Cler:
Will you sup with me to night?
Shall:
Sup with thee? thou know'st J cannot eat pottle pots
and Venice glasses, thou art for that supping altogeather.
Cler:
No faith, we haue employment for our teeth to, a
Venson-pasty and a pullet.
Shall:
What store of guests?
Cler:
Some twelve, no more.
Shall:
No more? too many by tenn, haue you nothing but
a pasty and a pullet.
Cler:
No faith, but they are excellent ones.
Shall:
How long i'st ere you meet.
Cler:
Sure he is unprovided to night, J must say late enough,
About tenn Sir.
(Aside)
Here's my hand J will meet you; by that time supper
will be done at my Lady Cœlia's.
(Aside)
Cler:
Pox on't, J had forgot it is deferd till to morrow night.
Shall:
Jn troth, and J am glad, for now J think on't J am
invited to my Lady Cœlia's.
Cler:
What a greedy rogue this is he would haue been at
both.
Enter Hog.
Hog:
J haue 'um Sr a dozen right.
Cler:
Keep u'm J'le saue you harmlesse.
Hog:
They are mist already Sir; the Butler and the Cook
were at Thou knaue about it, and while they contended, J
got away.
Cler:
Now walk yon Stallion some where else.
Hog:
Come Mr Shallow will you be going?
Shall:
J, withall my heart Hog, for J vow now J am very
hungry.
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