 | The Wizard |  |
ACT: 4.
Sce. 1.
Enter Antonio and seats himself presently after SebastianAnt:
Sebastian welcome.
Seb:
Does he know me?
J never was ashamed of my name
Untill this present.
Ant:
Sonne J haue good news for thee.
Seb:
Sonn? J'me o'th' kindred already god blesse the adoption.
Ant:
And if that Cœlia's name be good; good news.
Seb:
Were he a Divell and could speak her name
He must be good while he is speaking it.
Father what e're the news is shall betide me
Jf Cœlia's name but season it, 'twill tast
Of goodnesse.
Ant:
Jt doth; her name but nothing else, (Aside)
Marvail not how J came to know thee
But take it for a proof and testimony
Of my deep art, and the huge joies J bring you
That J doe know you; they are horrid charms
Horrid my Sonn by which our art proceeds,
Even we are afraid to speak, and furies hear;
Words that unsphere the Moon, and still the hiss
Of furies snakes; words, worse then they are,
We speak them to; with which hells Majesty
Would be o'recome, and only can indeed.
Seb:
J like this fellow wondrous well, he speaks
As if he understood the waighty cause
He hath in hand, one unto whome study
And excessiue pains haue been injurious
Tempting him to a spire of art, on which
He can nor stand nor fall with any safety
No meager slaue made so by want of corn
And customers, not lack of sleep and rest,
Who if he be imploy'd, for fear his Grannams
Recipe should faile looks more hideous
And gashtly then the Divell he invokes
And is the terribler object of the two;
J highly like him; Father if that you can
Make me so happy, say that Cœlia's name,
(That name by which you did prepare my ear
As by the most bewitching prologue to
Attend too) say it will loose its self in mine,
And chang the cold and frozen style of Virgin,
For the warm title of a wife, and reverend
Name of a Mother?
Ant:
Can you beleeue Sir?
There's nought but that 'twixt you and happinesse;
This night she'le meet you in the amorous game
Full of delights, and fuller because stol'n;
Seb:
J cannot, but yet wou'd.
Will she that hath so long endurd the seige
Of loue, now willingly betray her Virgin
Fort n'ere ransacked before.
Ant:
Will she be happy Sir?
You know her traine of Suters still increas
And she hath now more then she can content
Or answer in the cause they move; which made
Her think upon this sudden and quick plot
May cut them off; when once the fruit is pluckt
T'is vaine to beat the tree; can you beleeue?
Seb:
J, any thing blest prophet: mayst thou liue
The prince of Sages, and when e're thou diest
Jf bold posterity dare track thy steps
When they would waken dead men from their graues
And fright the world with apparitions
Thy name, thy name alone shall be the spell.
Ant:
Why now you can belieue J'le tell you more
The Lady thinks you Conscientious
And of too scrupulous and precise a soul
That prize an idle rite and ceremony
And dare not venter into Venus tents
Before the Hymeneall song be sung
And Clark haue cry'd Amen, and all the bells
Ha' told the Parish on't, which was the cause
She durst not throw this secret from her breast.
Seb:
Folly of women! doe we not cause their heat?
Are they not cold but when they think on us?
Had J the opportunity and means
J'de think it Church enough.
Enter Hog.
Hog:
Sr your Father's at door; shall J admit him
(wispers)
Ant:
Yes; an antient Gentleman doth stay, J know him.
Ex: Hog.
Sonne there's at the door of yours a rivall
One whome in troth J pitty cause he's old,
And like my self whome dotage hath undone.
Seb:
What Sr Oliver Youngloue?
Ant:
The very same;
O what an unbeseeming spectacle
Js such a thing as he or J, to dandle
A girle of eighteen on our knees, speak Sir,
Would not men rather censure it my daughter
Or Grandchild then my wife or bedfellow;
Let me intreat you to withdraw your self
Jn that same chamber, here's the key, when he
(As he shall presently) is dispatchd; to you
J will unfould the series of that nights
Pleasure, the place, hower, Circumstance, goe in
And meditate Upon them, those thoughts are sweet.
Ex: Seb: and listens. Ex: Antonio at the other.
Here will J stand, and hear these grey beards talks;
What sage and morall sentences will passe
Between them.
[Antonio returns with Sir Oliver]
Ant:
Jndeed J hitherto haue usd to call
My Auditors my sonns, but now J must
Resigne the priviledge of Father unto
You, whose years doe claime it.
Sr Oliv:
By no means Sir,
J must not hear the name of old, or father,
These are words of infamy and reproach,
And belong to dying people, that smell
Of earth and worms before they are in the graue.
Why doe J look like one of these dull things?
Hem! quoth Sr Oliver to, don't talk of Father,
J'le be your Sonn; old? call me Sonn J say.
Ant:
Since you will haue it so Sonn speak your mind.
Sr Oli:
J faith old Father and my mind is good,
As good as e're t'was to the old game,
Methinks J could be yet a Father,
Seb:
J, and your mind would doe it; but alasse your Knighthood's
no body at it.
Sr Oli:
J can shake my legs still old Father:
Seb:
You lie; it is the palsey shakes them.
Ant:
Shall J speak that shall make you leap and dance
And caper o're Joynstools, and cause your heart
Made light with joy skip out into your hands?
No Father that's too hearty joy.
Ant:
And without any trouble to your teeth leap in againe.
Sr Oli:
J would faine see that; that is the pretiest trick of
the two: good Father name this child of joy.
Ant:
You doat extreamly on a Lady and haue been by the
world sufficiently derided for it, children point at you, and
those that can scarce speak, say, there goes an old doating
Coxcomb, a graue fool, a child with a long beard.
Seb:
Ha! ha! ha! J thank thee for this mirth, ha! ha! ha!
Sr Oli:
This doth somewhat moue me, but not to caper.
Ant:
Yet, you that haue been this huge laughing stock shall
turn this scene of mirth upon the makers, the Lady doats on
you, more then you e're on her, and is more mad for you, then
your Anthonio is at this instant for her loue, Cœlia shall court
your very feet, hang on your neck as a rich chaine, and sit
upon your knees untill she grow unto them.
Seb:
O J could kill him now; let me but liue i'le binde him
face to face unto a Hog shall poyson him with his unhallowed
breath, then bury him in pigs dung, and haue a herd of swine
tormented severally by mastiue dogs, whine at his funerall
as the cheif mourners.
Sr Oli:
The time good Father. ô J could now dance without
measure; hej for the Carnaries;
Ant:
Jf Virgin Cœlia till to morrow liue
To you her hand she shall in wedlock giue.
O Father thou hast blest me beyond my wishes
Here take thy reward, & those good Angells guard thee.
Ant:
No money Sr not J, Loue is my pay,
Think on your Father on the wedding day.
Exit Sr Oli.
Enter Sebastian.
Seb:
You are a villaine, you old iniquity;
Ant:
He hath o'reheard me, J must be suddaine;
Fool that J was J did not lock him in;
(Aside)
ha! ha! ha! he's gone, pray let me laugh a while
And i'le be at your service instantly.
Seb:
Why dost thou laugh? leaue of your grinning, fool;
And think upon your sad Catastrophe;
You must not gul me thus, you must not villaine,
J'le send you to your Divells to augment
The number of them, by my good sword J will:
Ant:
Now J haue laught enough, you shall laugh to
Untill you shake your Diaphragme; J gul you!
Can you my Sonn so it conceiue of me
That doe desire to liue no longer then
J'me true to you? 'tis not your sword affrights me
That thus am guarded.
Seb:
Why what guard is here?
Ant:
Besides my innocence, not any yet,
Which shouldst thou dare to violate, a whistle
Or a call would bring me legions, put up,
Such a black guard thou dar'st not look upon
Nor any mortall eye, without astonishment;
Put up, and be confirm'd J'me wholy yours,
J will make good in each particular
Seb:
You cannot then be true to him, to one you must be false.
Ant:
True unto both; but not in his conceit
Nor as his giddy head interpreteth
Must J be understood; he doth corrupt
The text with a false glosse, and comment of
His ill fancy'd hopes, which J 'tis true did graunt
But on condition; the premises once sick
The Conclusion must needs die.
Seb:
Didst thou not say that if the morning saw
Her safe she was his wife.
Ant:
True, J did soe
And somewhat more which must enliven you;
J sayd if Virgin Cœlia 'till to morrow liue
But she resignes that name this night, the morne
And she will blush together, wishing
So those continued daye might never come.
Seb:
This night! how neer my joies am J? ô night
Never till now to be prefer'd 'fore light.
Ant:
Heap Sr shall injuries upon my head
Unlesse to night you are in Cœlia's bed.
Seb:
There is but one thing now to raise my joies
Unto their highest sphere; couldst thou doe that
Nay wouldst thou Father; for what canst thou not?
Ant:
Sonn whatsoever within mans compasse lies
Devoted unto these endeavors, and is
Possible, or not of to sawcy a demand
J shall perform, J shall by that black lake,
Which Joue religiously his oath doth take.
Seb:
Pardon me first, J ask no common thing
J must haue perfect evidence; J know
You can command the spirits with a nod
T'usurp what shape you please, & personate
The inmost thoughts of them they represent,
Let me behold, though with amazed eyes
And upright haires the wonder of your art.
Ant:
Now J am caught; 'tis a hard thing my Sonn.
Seb:
J know it is your only master peece
The mistery of your deep profession,
Profoundest craft & secret of your trade
Which therefore you refuse to prostitute
To every eye, because it tells the truth,
And can't so well dissemble the right cause
And author of this work, but doth confesse
Too plainly you converse with evill spirits
And hold intelligence with hell.
Ant:
J'me blown up, quite nonplust, the Divell a divell can
J raise; methinks J hear an officer already at my doors.
(Aside)
Enter Hog.
Hog:
Sr the Ladies caroch expect them, shall J say you'r
busie and desire their pardon for some occasions, or else you
would haue waited on them to the boot.
Ant:
The Ladies sayst thou? J had quite forgot them
Happy oblivion! thou hast blest me aboue measure;
With these true Ladies will J cheat my gallant
And gul him to his face;
Exit Hog.
Well Sonn upon the condition you will be silent
And not endanger me with my own praise
J am content to satisfie your wish.
Seb:
J won't so much as in my dream talk of you,
Nor in my drink, nor to my whore, where tongues
Are licens'd to be irregular,
Racks shall not get it from me, nor the Priest.
Ant:
Stay here but the short time our ceremonies
May be performd, which but that 'tis so horrid
And of so fearfull and severe a form
J would present it streight unto your eyes.
Seb:
J will:
How modest are his actions, free from pride
As much as falshood;
(Musick sounds ceremoniously)
Whence are these ravishing aires?
Why doe J ask? can Cœlia's spirit rise
Without such harmony? at her request
The Sphears a louder Musick yeeld, and graunt
Unto our ears their long denyed strains
And n'ere are heard againe, but only when
They listen unto Cœlia's voice, & mend
Their tunes by hers.
Enter Antonio, Cœlia, Penelope, aside talking.
Cœl:
Durst he be so ignoble to admitt
Without a combate?
Ant:
Madam resolue upon't
Your Sister's willing, and likes his forwardnesse
Jn wanton sports.
Cœl:
Some Curtezan J think
Were fitter faire to cool his itch,
Ant:
Besides;
You are not safe in your owne nuptialls
Unlesse Sebastian is fetterd first
Jn Vulcanes nett.
Pen:
Sister make the worst on't, if it proue, a day breaks
no squares in nine months; let me alone to work him to my
Articles when he hath seald before hand.
Cœl:
J am content, proceed;
Antonio presents Cœlia, and Penelope before Sebastian as spirits
Ant:
Good Sonn goe farther off, yet farther pray,
Upon your perill come no nearer to them,
None but that place is sanctuary, and can
Protect you.
Seb:
O pleasing, fearfull Spectacle!
Astonishment and wonder doe invade
My soul, unequall for this prodigie,
How to the life he counterfeits the sweet
And pleasant roses in their cheeks? who meeting
These, and not knowing the delusion,
Would not protest they were the very same?
See, they acknowledg me, and profer signe
Of sweet acceptance.
Exit Anton: Cœl: & Penel:
O Sebastian
Thou didst not liue till now; all the pennance
We doe in loue strict school, falls short
And is to poor a penniworth for this
One minutes purchase; The Musick ceaseth
Thus Cœlia's presence alwaies brings delight
Nothing but horror doth attend her flight.
Enter Antonio.
Ant:
Son did you mark how every circumstance
Proclaim'd you happy, how she drew of her ring?
Mark Sir the ring which is the Louers emblem,
That signifies your loue shall haue no end,
But run in a perpetuall circle,
And turne into your selues.
Seb:
Miracle of Learning!
Ant:
She did conjure her sisters secresy
And help, by those sweet sacraments of loue;
Which made me represent them both unto you
That you might know each scruple of your comfort,
The means, the time, that no place should be left
For fond suspition.
Seb:
J am confident.
Ant:
O how 'twill tickle you to see your Cœlia
Of strang neglect on you, and blessing others
With feigned pleasures and adulterate smiles.
Seb:
J am already ravisht and fled out of my self;
Ant:
You will be so by bed time,
Which being next unto the street, a call
Unto the window streight brings downe her sister
Who there attends to be your guide, and conduct you
To an Elysium of more content
Then Poets fancy theirs to be.
Seb:
No more;
What shall J giue thee? J will hear no more.
Ant:
No bribes; only your prayers that my project thriues.
Seb:
Pray heaven they doe.
Exit Seb:
Ant:
Antonio prays so to.
He's gon, what seas of trouble haue J past?
J should recant, but time won't suffer me,
J must pursue my fortunes; O Danger
How true a Lackey art thou unto Louers!
Yet doe the Gods so well dispose of thee
They will not vertuous louers shipwrackt see.
Enter Hog.
Ant:
J will be no more troubled.
Hog:
T' is Mr Shallow.
Ant:
What need we fear that coxcomb.
Shall J request one boon of you?
Ant:
Yes; what is't?
Hog:
Why J would desire you to leaue this Shallow to my
handling.
Ant:
With all my heart,
For J must streight put on Antonio's part.
Exeunt.
Sce. 2.
Enter Clerimont Solus.J wonder what humour my old Father's in? he hath thrown
away his staff, and hobles very manfully, struts hem's, and
doth so encourage himselfe as though he had renewd the
rotten house of his life for threescore and one years more; J
know not what to impute this suddaine chang unto; pray
heav'n my Brother proues right; J doe not like these passions
in the old man; his looking glasse which he commanded to
be broken for frightning him with his own Jmage is now in
good request againe, he is allwayes looking in it, his beard
brush ever in his hand, for if he vouchsafe you a word in
complement, he presently turns his head, and under colour of
spitting brushes his beard into order againe; and now the
servants are in a distraction, whither they should first goe
for the barber, taylor, or perfumer; all his talk is of his gold
rings, which being multiplied upon his fingers, your palsey
shakes into sounds and Musick; well J'le among them and
see what this means.
Seb:
Friend, opportunely met, how like you me?
Am J not like a bridgroom? O Clerimont
My head runs round with merriment and joy
J'me all over mirth and cheerfulnesse,
Dull Melancholy's banisht from my soul,
Which is as free and lightsome as if it had
Shook of this clog of flesh; J feel it not.
Cler:
This is excellent, whence are these raptures friend?
Seb:
Whence? from aboue, below; from heauen, from hell.
Cler:
J know not what to think of this.
Seb:
Think upon nine a clock that happy time
Think on the twining Jvys, sweet embraces;
The shell fish kisses, and gentle murmur
That billing Turtles make, think upon me
And Paradise, and twenty such fine things.
Cler:
Whither art thou going now?
Seb:
To see the rarest sight thou wouldst desire.
Cler:
What sight? or where to be exhibited?
Seb:
Thy Father made an asse of, wilt thou goe?
And J in triumph riding on his back.
Cler:
Where? at what place?
Seb:
At Cœlia's house, she is an Actor to.
Cler:
And J'le be a spectator.
Exeunt.
Sce. 3.
Enter Hog disguis'd, & Mr Shallow.Shall:
O Lord yes Sr, J lost a friend of that Hog; he was one
would haue run through dirt and mire for my sake, but a
whorson Cook for a small theft washt him clean away; O Hog
thy remembrance is choller to me, had Hog remained J had
bore away the Lady in spight of the gutts on 'um; he had a
sword he would have usd in my cause, and though J say it
there was not a rasher fellow in the town then Hog.
Hog:
The man was neer kin to me, and for his sake J shall
doe you no small courtesie.
Shall:
To haue done me good, J could haue commanded
Hogs blood, or Hogs cheek, ô you know not Hogs tie and mine.
Hog:
Will you repose some confidence in me; you yet shall
haue the Lady; what though Cœlia be dispos'd and her Sister
to, yet there is a third the Lady Delia, and she J'me sure
wishes you no harm.
Shall:
Nor J her. faith J was a man in her quarters once,
but now am out againe, J know not why but something is
come betwixt us J am not so intimate as J was.
Hog:
Take courage Sr, those faire days shall shine againe,
& shortly to.
Shall:
Don't mock me J am brought low enough already, J
am en'e starvd for want of flesh.
Hog:
My master now is absent, and will be for a time, you
shall make use of this his absence, and wear such habitts,
difference, be you but thus disguised, and i'le conveigh your
Mistress to you; no other house you need goe unto untill it
be performd, but lodg in my masters chamber.
Shall:
O Tom Shallow againe right dayes appear
Againe thou shalt be to the Ladies dear,
And after midnight with the lasses toss it,
Untill thou burst with caudle and sack-posset.
Exeunt.
Sce. 4.
Enter Cœlia, Sr Oliver Youngloue, Penelope, Sebastian & Clerimont rageing.Cler:
Why doe you laugh so friend?
Seb:
Ha! ha! ha! she bears it brauely like her self, she
will not look on me but with a frown.
Cler:
S' death! are they glued together? What hath the
rogue my Brother done? J allways fear'd his narrow conscience
would not stretch to cheat my Father: J know not whome to
curse first; either my Father that hath the good fortune, or
my brother that gaue it him, or my self that was the cause
he had the power to giue it, or this asse that grins and shews
his teeth: ô my eyes, this sight is pinns and needles to me.
Sr Oli:
O divine Fortuneteller! how true are thy words yet.
How like you Sir these arms, will they not charm
you a sleep sweetly.
Seb:
There was a bob; pretty little rouge
How she doth flout him with her flatteries
That bare a double sence, her meaning is,
All the delight her arms can bring unto him
Js but to charm him into sleep, yes, yes
His last, a plaine jeer unto his weaknesse.
Mark to how scurvily she looks on me: ha! ha! ha!
Pen:
Nay J allwaies said the old Knight would carry thee
away, thou didst look so grauely.
Cler:
He must haue better legs then, better brains
(Aside)
Sebastian hear me but one word pray.
Seb:
Away, away, what art thou a fool to?
Why dost not laugh? J shall not think thee wise
Untill thou laugh.
Cler:
Laugh? what object is there
Here of mirth but thy owne self?
Seb:
Ha! ha! ha! nay nay laugh at me.
J am the fool you'l find it in the end.
Cœl:
To morrow, let to morrow be the day
We will no longer loue defer our joies.
Sr Oliv:
Withall my heart, hem! so, methinks J am
As sprightfull now as when J got young Clerimont,
What art thou here my boy? J saw thee not.
Tell me how lik'st thou thy faire Mother in Law?
Cler:
She were better be in hell then e're enjoy you Sr.
Sr Oli:
Ha? what sayst thou?
Cler:
J like it well you are so neer your joy Sr.
O J belieue thee louing Clerimont,
How J was cozen'd in thy disposition
J haue a long tale to tell thee will fetch
Tears from those eyes, but now we must not weep,
Antonio's mad; but J must please my wife.
Cler:
Yes, J beleeue he is, madder then thou art
Or he that simpers yonder at his losse,
That sage Philosopher that laughs upon
The world which way so e're it goes, fine fool;
How it becomes the puppy; well J'le goe
And be reveng'd upon Antonio.
Exit.
Sr Oli:
J streight will send thee my conveighances,
Make thee a joynture Lady to thy mind
Thou canst not haue to much dirt, paltrey dirt
We will not stand upon it.
Cœl:
J doe hope
We shall haue you Sir at my wedding.
Seb:
Yes Lady;
J shall burst with wonder at her craft
Another bob as J liue and palpable;
J wonder he doth not understand he's guld,
J hope J shall haue you Sir at my wedding;
Doth she not tender her own self unto me?
And tell the old coxcomb to his teeth
She'le haue me: and see he kisses her
For cozning him.
Sr Oli:
Come Lady let us goe in.
Exe. Cœl. Sr Oliv:
Pen:
My sister Sr is quite undone, unles
Seb:
Why now the mask is off
They did not speak till now, this is language.
Pen:
Well Sr J must stand you in some pleasure
This night e're ten, but J could wish it more
How er'e remember her that keeps the door.
Seb:
J will; and this in earnest before hand,
(kisses)
Jt shall be doubled then.
Pen:
J had almost lost
Part of my errand.
Seb:
This but a trick
To beg the other kisse, that's all thy errand.
Pen:
My businesse is to charg you in her name
That soon as break of day cuts of your sport,
Streight in the glim'ring light and doubtfull morn
You leaue your bed; and with your consort vaild
Repaire to th'temple, and there saue her fame
That prizes nothing 'boue a honest name.
Seb:
J were a Villaine if J should refuse it;
T'is seal'd upon thy lips till soone.
Pen:
J then expect better impression.
Exeunt.
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