 | The Wizard |  |
ACT: 5.
Sce. 1.
Enter Clerimont and Antonio.Cler:
Stare not, my Father and your Cœlia
Are somewhat closer then you think by this.
Ant:
How marryed! nay then be mad indeed;
Dart on me Stars your rageing influence
And burn my braine with a more frantick fire
Then scorcht great Hercules; O policy!
Thou viperous brood, still to thy mother cruell
Eating with double labour through our brains
Unto the ruin of thy parent. oh! oh! oh!
Cler:
You shall not cheat me Sr with feigned madnesse
J must haue other satisfaction.
(draws his sword)
Ant:
Welcome that word; and J will giue it thee,
Why lets thou fall thy point; O Clerimont
he runs upon him & Clerimont lets fall his sword
Never till now unkind; unkind as death
Still slow and tedious, unto those that seek it,
Flying away from her pursuers eye
And with all speed pursuing them that fly.
Cler:
What Labyrinth am J in now, what maze,
What whirlpool's in my braine? he's serious,
And had not J been mercifull (for which
He curses me) by this time had seen heau'n;
This one truth; hast not thou thy wish? for all
Your Orgyan fury, art not glad within
That they are married?
Ant:
The very word
Js hell and furies to my ears.
Cler:
Why then—
Ant:
What then?
Cler:
Why then they are not married,
And never shall be.
Ant:
Doe not play with me
And make me such a fool as J haue made
My friend and Father;
But these dear names must suffer, nay my life
Rather then Cœlia be anothers wife.
Cler:
She is thine owne, nay Clerimont hath said it,
Hark in thine ears, (Whispers)
how like you it?
Ant:
Why very well.
Cler:
Laugh on my friend; and Father dream to night
Of Cœlia, we'le allow you that delight.
Exeunt.
Sce: 2.
Enter Cœlia & Penelope aboue in the window.Cœl:
J doe not hear him comeing yet, J'le keep
Good Sentinell, should he suspect this trick
We both must suffer.
Pen:
You talk to loud sister
For one that must be hoarse, J hope you doe
Not envy me this nights precedency,
Eldest Sister, listen, listen prethee
O here's a night fit for loue stealth, not a
Star appears, they are all pandars to us.
Enter Sebastian.
Cœl:
Peace, J hear a passenger.
Pen:
By your leaue candle you must out, you may tell tales,
now Sister speak.
Seb:
That is the window, J doe hear them mutter.
Now Sebastian faint not to declare
Thy ample joies, and tell the silent night
She is propitious to thee 'boue thy merit,
That thus officiously obscures her lights
And twinckling fires; in signe that they
Must needs be dark, when Cœlia is eclipst.
J'le call unto my heav'n and better stars,
Cœlia my soul, my dear delight and loue.
Pen:
'Tis he: who's that Sebastian?
Seb:
Yes my bright Angell; Sebastian;
Where is your sister my happy guide?
Cœl:
Here Sr; fie upon you tardy louer, my sister hath
expected you this howre, pray heau'n you come provided,
you'r so long e're you come, you should out run time still
to such a happinesse.
Seb:
Poor Gentlewoman! what a cold she hath,
This is with sitting up so long for me.
Cœl:
Stay J'le conduct you.
Pen:
Goe Sister J'le doe as much for you if need require.
Cœlia descends.
J am not far from blisse, ther's but a door
'Twixt me and mine Elysium; ope kindly
Gentle lock.
Cœl:
How dark it is? where are you Sir?
Seb:
Here, here
Waue but your hand thou'lt light upon me streight,
J haue thee now.
Cœl:
Alas but not to hold.
(Aside)
Anon you will hold one you would not haue.
Seb:
How tookst thou this strang cold?
Cœl:
With conceit Sr
Of the warm nights my Sister now will lead
Haueing a bedfellow, and the cold comfort
Remains to me, who now must be alone.
Seb:
Were you both bedfellowes?
Cœl:
Ever yet Sr
Nor doe J think you'r sorry we are parted.
Seb:
No by my faith.
Cœlia,
Come softly after me.
Seb:
J wish thee as thy Sister blest.
Cœl:
J wish unto you both but little rest.
Exeunt.
Sce: 3.
Enter Antonio in the habit of his father, Clerimont, A Parson, Hog disguis'd, with a dark lanthorne in his hand, and some habits in his arms.Ant:
Hold up the light, protest 'tis wondrous dark
Cler:
We are neer upon the house, pray heav'n our stay
Be not injurious to the Enterprize.
J fear they are all a bed.
Hog:
T'is not yet ten;
J've us'd the house and know their hower of sitting up, J'le
warrant we haue entrance.
Ant:
Come Sr J hope we shall employ your tongue
Jf we are time enough.
Cler:
Here take this blood,
And smear about your face, least you be known
To be some other then my Father; ô
He dreams not now of this; put forward Hog.
Exeunt.
Sce: 4.
Enter Cœlia at a table perusing some papers, Delia waiting.Cœl:
Delia?
Del:
Madame.
Cœl:
Stay behind till J giue you a call.
Del:
J shall Madame.
Exit.
Cœl:
How well he loues me these dull papers tell,
The breif of all his larg possessions;
Which freely he giues up unto my hands
To make my joynture to my will, what's this
Unto the loue he brings me in himself.
(One knocks violently)
Delia?
Del.
Madam.
Cœl:
See who is at door:
Exit.
And yet how base alass is the world grown
That oftenr couple great estates together
Then minds or wills.
Enter Delia in hast after her Antonio.
Del:
Madam, Sr Oliver's wounded.
Ant:
Stay there till J call for you.
(speaks as at the door)
Cœl:
How? where? by whome? raise up my house.
Ant:
Lady view but these wounds J took for thee,
And count thy glories, graces, honours, colours,
Thy colours Lady; old as J am yet
J can spare thus much blood for thee my dear;
Ungentle Clerimont! 'las the blow was naught
But that my Son should doe it there's the wound;
What needed his curst hand, am J not old
And of mine own accord post fast enough
To death?
Cœl:
Durst his hand tempt a Sinn so grosse
And fowle, hath he forgot all piety,
And man?
Ant:
He's dead to goodnesse; but the cause
Of all this tumult is thy wedding day;
He hath vow'd deep oaths, before he'le suffer
So monstrous a Conjunction (as he calls it)
The Religion of the place contemned,
He'le violate the Gods, and what on earth
He should next honour, these gray hairs.
Cœl:
He dare not,
Nor will The Gods permitt so damnd an act.
Ant:
Let us not trust to that;
This night J'le be thy husband, a Preist
J haue provided here, even in this chamber
Made by thy gracious presence sacred, and
Holy; ô how 'twill vex my humerous Son;
Speak, shall the churchman to his office?
My castle shall be here, which J will guard
With good tall Knaues my Serving men,
J'le throw the Villaine, and the blood J scarce
Can think to be mine own, out of my thoughts,
To morrow J will send for my conveighances,
And scrowls of all my wealth, and make them over
All my dear Mistress unto thee.
Cœl:
How's this?
Why those are here already Sir.
Ant:
J haue betrayd my self (Aside)
ô true
J doe remember now, but this affright
Struck it out of my memory.
Cœl:
Lets see takes the taper and findes him not the same
The wound Sr: ha Delia who is this
Exit Antonio.
Enter Hog rushing in.
Hog:
Saue you Lady.
Cœl:
How comst thou hither?
Hog:
J know not that, but here J am most sure
My Master bid me goe unto your Ladyship
But sent me flying, 'tis not a minute
Since J was in his chamber on his way
To you, and with you talking here;
Cœl:
Thy businesse?
Hog:
Only to tell you
That my Master will be here presently and intends to speak
with you before you sleep, about some waity businesse.
Cœl:
Jndeed J am glad of it,
His presence like the Sun will purg and clear
These misty passages.
Enter Antonio in the Conjurers habit.
He's here already, welcome ô welcome my souls best
comfort!
Canst perfect them.
Ant:
That is my purpose Lady,
For J am he alone that can, nay he
That indeed must fulfill your joies, & not
By relations, but in my own person.
Cœl:
What means the fellow? Delia goe raise the house.
Stir not good moveable, doe not bawl neither
But know your office is to sleep, or read
While your Lady is courted, & now to you
Whose pardon J must craue that J am bold
To call you mine, before you haue agreed
To be soe.
Cœl:
The fellow is mad, and raues
Talks any thing.
Ant:
Yes, just as mad as is
Antonio at this present.
Cœl:
Js he not mad?
Ant:
No more then J am.
Cœl:
Didst thou not tell me soe?
Ant:
Never; J told you he was not himself,
Nor his own man, 'twas you that said he was mad,
J told you to he that in years and face
Resembled me amongst your Sutors most,
On him the fates did place the blessing
Of your marriage bed.
Cœl:
True, and that's old Youngloue.
Ant:
J never sayd that, never;
Cœl:
Who is't then?
Ant:
My self.
Cœl:
Jmpudent fool art not asham'd?
Wert thou my Sutor ever? just as much
As thou shalt be my husband.
Ant:
Agreed, agreed.
Come in there witnesses.
Enter Clerimont & Priest.
nay J'le take you at your word; friends you heard the whole
Both.
We did.
Ant:
See then the humblest and truest
Of all thy Sutors, thy Antonio.
Cœl:
How welcome to these arms thou art,
T'were now in vaine in amorous words to expres't.
Ant:
The shortnesse of the time deny our tongues
That happinesse, we will at larg tell stories
When we may safely.
Cler:
Make all sure first, here's a nimble chopper shall doe
your businesse for you.
Priest.
Tribus verbis as they say Sir.
Cler:
J hope Madam, you will excuse me to my Father
Cœl:
Alas, your father is the least we fear,
That chamber there doth afford a greater
Bugbear, deluded Sebastian.
Ant:
Let me alone to take him off;
Cler:
My Brother hath a servant here would be better known
to you; J subornd him to steal a dozen of spoons from your
Cook, whereby the discovery of the theft might bring you to
the knowledg of my brother.
Cœl:
J am sorry then J had him pumpt.
Well now Antonio J surrender up
My self thy vertues prize; thy loue is noble
And through the more black studies it hath run
Hath got more lustre, take me into thy arms
No Thunder now shall part us,
Ant:
Nor no jarr
Exe: Ant: Cœl: Cler: Priest.
Del:
Welcome againe unto me Hog: haue we quite forgot
our fool; you know you promis'd me faire.
Hog:
And J'le perform wench; still he's thine own, fear it
not, he is now at Antonios house, where we haue play'd our
pranks there he lies not knowing me to be his Hog; he is now
a Conjurer in conceit, J haue put him into the habit of Antonio;
you must presently goe and enquire your fortune of him,
which he will tell you as wisely as you would expect from
such a wit as he is; come come 'tis almost day.
Del:
Well if thou dost cozen me, may all chambermayds
hereafter liue honestly; which will be thy undoing; and in
dispaire of fortune mayst thou wander without boots sword
and coat a naked Pandar.
Exeunt.
Sce: 5.
Enter Sr Oliver Youngloue with musick playing under Penelopes window.Sr Oli:
Scrape lowder, lowder knaues, here, here's my
Mistresses window, play up and cry good morrow to Sir
Oliver Youngloues bride the Lady Cœlia.
(Musitians play)
Mus:
Good morrow to Sir Oliver Youngloues bride the Lady
Cœlia.
Sebastian speaks a boue
Seb:
Amongst you Sirs your reward had been better if you
had saluted the Lady aright, play another tune and cry good
morrow to Sebastians bride the Lady Cœlia.
We will Sir.
Sr Oli:
How? Sebastians wife the Lady Cœlia? peace varlets,
scoundrells, get you out of my sight you unlucky gutvexers.
Exeunt Mus.
Seb:
Who is that? Sr Oliver Youngloue? ô a good morning
rivall J thank you for this early visit, Cœlia shall thank you
to; stay Knight we'le come to you for our God giue us joys.
Sr Oli:
Cozen'd and laugh at? ô this fortuneteller!
Enter Sebastian and Penelope vaild.
Seb:
Nay stay good Knight J'le giue you leaue to kisse
my bride.
Sr Oli:
J will not hear you Sir.
Seb:
You shall hear then; unvail Cœlia; ha! whose this?
Good lightning blast me, or if there be
Some quicker fires, doe you consume me streight;
No, J will haue the other Element
Equall in cruelty; oppress me with
New seas of rain, pour down a deluge on me
And let me perish by the punishment
The Universall world once sufferd; ô hell,
And furies.
Sr Oli:
Ha! ha! ha! the first couple and in hell, Cœlia hath
bobd him and reserues her self for me.
Within there ho! come forth, or—
Pen:
Nay good Sr doe not storme.
Seb:
Peace my delusion
Would J were turnd into a globe, a fire
That J might burn my self, my shame, this house
And all the grand imposters in it.
Enter Antonio leading in Cœlia, Clerimont with his sword drawn.
Sr Oli:
What's here more anticks; Antonio leading in Cœlia?
& Clerimont their Champion, here's mad doings indeed, why
you rogues my Sons s'life J'le disinherrit you both.
Cler:
You want a conveighance Sr for that; if you doe, we
haue some few parchments within, which will serue us poor
worms to liue on.
Sr Oli:
J am undone, cheated of lands, of wife and all:
Seb:
Antonio, haue you married Cœlia?
Cler:
No Sr, the priest hath, laugh, laugh on my friend,
J shall not think you wise untill you laugh.
Seb:
J will no longer be tormented, fortuneteller where e're
thou art, this mischief thou shalt rue.
Sr Oli:
Nay, take me along with you Sr, J'le trounce him &
his Divells to, er'e J haue done with them.
Exeunt.
Ant:
Nay Pen: take comfort he shall marry thee.
Pen:
Jf oaths and vows may be beleeu'd he shall.
Cler:
This is but a fit, to violent to last long, they must
return hither for their fortuneteller; my Brother was the man.
Cœl:
Come let us in, while J provide you feasts
Exeunt.
Sce: 6.
Enter Shallow disguised as Conjurer; Hog, & Delia.Shall:
Nay tel me Lady although you tell me but what J
know already; whome loue you best of mortall wights?
Del:
Relying on your secresy J shall; the first that e're J
owed good will to was the Lady Hawties Lackey, and since
one of the gentlecraft, who took me infinitely for the excellent
guift he had in tickling a Ladies heel.
Shall:
How the Lady Hawties Lackey, and one of the gentlecraft,
S'nigs she is all for great ones; and were these all
you lou'd?
Del:
One more J have affected lately and aboue the rest,
but J fear he doth return me hate for loue.
Shall:
Can there be any man so stony? name him Lady &
J will make him melt like wax unto thee.
Del:
Alas Sr he made me once beleeu he lou'd me, when he
ouerheard me descanting upon his name, and person which
was so provokeing a Subject it turnd me into an extemporary
Poet wither J would or noe, and in that passion he took me.
Hog:
What a gipsey is this.
Shall:
This provokeing Subject is my self, hum! and what
was the provokeing Subjects name J pray?
Del:
Jt was Sr—reverence be it spoken, Mr Shallow.
Why this wight doth loue you dearly, although of
late you haue giuen some cause of distast, which made
matters arise 'twixt him and you Ladie: did not you put
caudle in his boots one night, which he wisht in his own
guts for anger, and since that laid nettles in his bed, ha!
Lady? and last of all crept under his bed, and lay there till
he was a sleep, and then begun to bustle and cry Bo thrice,
which set the Gentlemans hair not only but his flesh upright.
Del:
Such pranks J doe ingenuously confess J haue playd
out of a youthfull waggishnesse, but no intent at all to stir
his good nature, thinking he would haue took a Ladyes lying
under him in good part, but if J thought these sports would
not agree with his tender disposition, J would for henceforth
abandon them.
Shall:
And will you swear to these conditions if J should
bring this provoking Subject to you Lady?
Del:
J swear Sr by his sweet embraces any oath J would
always keep; J will never hereafter tickle him, nor tread upon
his toes, nor wring him by the finger.
Shall:
Nor vex his nose with straw when he is asleep?
Del:
Nor snatch away his handkercheifs and restore them
againe.
Shall:
Yes, yes restore them againe.
Del:
J mean with loue letters in them.
Shall:
Nor pluck away his stool from under him when he
is at his toast and butter in a morning, nor hide his Cloak,
when he would walk abroad against your will.
Del:
To the renouncing of all these J swear.
Hog:
J am witnesse to it.
Shall:
Nay Tom Shallow is glad to see it to, ô then rogueing
Lady am J a provokeing Subject J faith.
Sebastian & Sr Oli: knock violently at the doors, speaks as within.
Seb:
Break down the doors.
Sr Oli:
We will haue entrance.
Hog:
On with your false beard, and fright 'um if you can,
You now must play the true Magitian.
Shall:
S'nigs J will so conjure them, hark you friend, let
one of your Masters Diuells be at call; J prithee let them come,
let 'em come.
Enter Sr Oli: Sebast: with a Constable & officers
Seb:
Yonder's the Villaine, Sirrah, rascall, but that J will
not prevent the hangman, J'de crack thy neck in sunder,
Officers away with him.
Shall:
Take heed what you doe Sirs, s'life stand further for
J am diuelish J say.
Hog:
J am diuelishly afraid matters are now reveal'd, poor
Shallow how he conjures them.
Sr Oli:
Lay hands on him Mr Constable, & drag him to the
Lady Cœlia's house.
Shall:
Why Bocco J say, stand off Constable, watchmen J
say look to your selues, Bocco is the black dog of newgate.
Seb:
Seize on these, they are Confederates to.
Shall:
You watchman handle the Lady well J charg you in
Const:
O Sr we fear 'um not.
Shal:
Sirrah doe not pul me so, J am a Wight.
Sr Oli:
Away, away with 'um.
Exeunt.
Sce. 7.
Enter Antonio in the habit of the Conjurer, Clerimont, Cœlia, Penelope.Ant:
'Tis strang they are not yet return'd, alas
They can find nothing there but empty walls;
J hir'd the house to play these projects in.
Cœl:
J long untill we doe conclude in joy
These strang occurrences: Sister be merry
J make no doubt but that Sebastian
Will use you nobly yet.
Enter Sr Oliver, Sebastian; Shallow, Hog & Delia led in by officers.
Cœl:
What more monsters yet? who's that they haue
brought hither.
Shall:
J vow now J'le be haled no more by these pickfoists
rogues, you Sr let me wipe my face, will you not.
Doe J look like a fortuneteller you blind watchman?
Brother Sebastian, J am honest Shallow.
Ant:
Let these alone kind officers
J am the man must answer to the fact;
Jnnocent, & J make no doubt but J
Shall clear my self of all aspersions
That either you good Sebastian
Or this old Knight shall sprinkle on me.
Shall:
Law you there now we are innocent; doe we not
look as though we were.
Ant:
First for you friend that think your self most wrong'd
Haue none at all; for if you be remembred
When plac'd behind the Arras you overheard
The speeches past betwixt this Knight and me
Not thinking of so neer an Auditour
You there approued of this delusion,
But never lookt unto your owne, whereas
There was no less æquivocation
Then in the other.
Seb:
Jt is impossible.
Didst thou not say in plaine and honest terms
Heap Sr all injuries upon my head
Unless this night you sleep in Cœlia's bed.
Ant:
True, in her bed you haue, but not with her
That J did never say, nor neaver meant.
Seb:
Witlesse evasion, but hear you Sir
That was not all the testimony you gaue,
But rais'd up Cœlia's spirit and her Sisters
Who did confirm by signes and wondrous postures
What thou didst say was void of all deceit.
Ant:
How J did raise their spirits let them speak
And how that there you did deceaue your self
Without my help.
Cœl:
We two are certaine proof
Who then were in the house disguis'd both,
Pen:
Thus changd,
He brought us forth unto you frighted, as if
We had indeed been apparitions.
And set us at such distance from your eye
You could not then distinguish.
Seb:
Were not they spirits then?
Cœl:
No more then now.
Ant:
J shall most plainly manifest to all
They could not be; nor had J any power
Or skill, to act so great a miracle,
And first J doe most humbly beg this Knights
Pardon.
(he and she kneels)
Sr Oli:
Not J: i'le never pardon thee.
Ant:
Your blessing Sir J mean; J am your Son;
Your daughter Cœlia to doth beg whome once
You nothing could deny.
Sr Oli:
Antonio!
O my amazement how was J deceau'd?
Cler:
Sebastian J must excuse my self to you,
J had a hand in all this policy
And but that Brother was a greater tie
Then Friend, the Lady had been yours.
Sr Oli:
Daughter & Son most dear unto me still
May you together liue, together die
And leaue behind you happy Progeny.
Seb:
You are a powerful advocate.
Shall:
Come, come in play Lady, nay we will haue somewhat
to doe as well as they.
Del:
Good Sr be silent.
Peace or you will marr all.
Shall:
Why so haue they mar'd all to, and J'le mar all no
otherwise, J beseech you Gentlemen let me marry a Lady
amongst you to.
Cœl:
She a Lady? how long haue you been Madam Delia?
fie Sir, no Sutor of mine shall with my consent fling him self
away upon a waiting gentlewoman, nor will you J hope.
Shall:
Upon any Lady J.
Cœl:
Beleeue me Sr she is no Lady.
Shall:
No Lady? why where's this fortunetellers man; Sirrah
is she no Lady?
Hog:
No Sir, nor J no fortunetellers man.
(undisguises himself)
Shall:
What Hog? S'life you haue us'd me finely haue you
not?
Hog:
Your Pardon Genteils, you know for the most part J
am a dealer in crackt affaires, & broken commodities, and
with your Ladyships good likeing J would haue stopt a flaw
with this Gentleman, but seeing J am hindred J'le studie to
amend my self and my profession.
Shall:
Sirrah doe J look like a flaw stopper?
Cœl:
Pray Sr haue patience and let me beg
You would not intermix this generall mirth
With any anger; we are now for feasts
And dancing.
Shall:
And introth ther's nothing but that could haue
appeas'd my stomack; now J haue done; you haue stopt my
mouth. come let us dance.
(They dance)
Cœl:
And now t'were good we here renounct this folly
They would example take from others perils;
And seeing 'tis that womans weaknesse most
Js incident in these occasions,
J wish all such as for their husbands flie
To Wizards; haue no worser luck then J.
Exeunt.
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