University of Virginia Library

Scene I.

Ambler. Pitfall. Mere-craft.
[Amb.]
Bvt ha's my Lady mist me?

Pit.
Beyond telling!
Here ha's been that infinity of strangers!
And then she would ha' had you, to ha' sampled you
VVith one within, that they are now a teaching;
And do's pretend to your ranck.

Amb.
Good fellow Pit-fall,
Tel Mr. Mere-craft, I intreat a word with him.
Pitfall goes out.
This most vnlucky accident will goe neare
To be the losse o' my place; I am in doubt!

Mer.
VVith me? what say you Mr Ambler?

Amb.
Sir,
I would beseech your worship stand betweene
Me, and my Ladies displeasure, for my absence.

Mer.
O, is that all? I warrant you.

Amb.
I would tell you Sir
But how it happened.

Mer.
Briefe, good Master Ambler,
Mere-craft seemes full of businesse.
Put your selfe to your rack: for I haue tasque
Of more importance.

Amb.
Sir you'll laugh at me!
But (so is Truth) a very friend of mine,
Finding by conference with me, that I liu'd
Too chast for my complexion (and indeed
Too honest for my place, Sir) did aduise me
If I did loue my selfe (as that I do,
I must confesse)

Mer.
Spare your Parenthesis.

Amb.
To gi' my body a little euacuation—

Mer.
Well, and you went to a whore?

Amb.
No, Sr. I durst not
(For feare it might arriue at some body's eare,
It should not) trust my selfe to a common house;
Ambler tels this with extraordinary speed.
But got the Gentlewoman to goe with me,
And carry her bedding to a Conduit-head,
Hard by the place toward Tyborne, which they call
My L. Majors Banqueting-house. Now Sir, This morning
Was Execution; and I ner'e dream't on't,
Till I heard the noise o' the people, and the horses;
And neither I, nor the poore Gentlewoman
Durst stirre, till all was done and past: so that
I'the Interim, we fell a sleepe againe.

He flags
Mer.
Nay, if you fall, from your gallop, I am gone Sr.

Amb.
But, when I wak'd, to put on my cloathes, a sute,
I made new for the action, it was gone,
And all my money, with my purse, my seales,
My hard-wax, and my table-bookes, my studies,
And a fine new deuise, I had to carry
My pen, and inke, my ciuet, and my tooth-picks,
All vnder one. But, that which greiu'd me, was
The Gentlewomans shoes (with a paire of roses,
And garters, I had giuen her for the businesse)
So as that made vs stay, till it was darke.
For I was faine to lend her mine, and walke
In a rug, by her, barefoote, to Saint Giles'es.

Mer.
A kind of Irish penance! Is this all, Sir?

Amb.
To satisfie my Lady.

Mer.
I will promise you, Sr.

Amb.
I ha' told the true Disaster.

Mer.
I cannot stay wi'you
Sir, to condole; but gratulate your returne.

Amb.
An honest gentleman, but he's neuer at leisure
To be himselfe: He ha's such tides of businesse.