University of Virginia Library

Scene VIIJ.

Mere-craft. Fitz-dottrel. Ingine. Traines.
[Mer.]
Why ha you these excursions? where ha' you beene, Sir?

Fit.
Where I ha'beene vex'd a little, with a toy!

Mer.
O Sir! no toyes must trouble your graue head,
Now it is growing to be great. You must
Be aboue all those things.

Fit.
Nay, nay, so I will.

Mer.
Now you are to'ard the Lord, you must put off
The man, Sir.

Ing.
He saies true.

Mer.
You must do nothing
As you ha'done it heretofore; not know,
Or salute any man.

Ing.
That was your bed-fellow,
The other moneth.

Mer.
The other moneth? the weeke.
Thou dost not know the priuiledges, Ingine,
Follow that Title; nor how swift: To day,
When he has put on his Lords face once, then—

Fit.
Sir, for these things I shall doe well enough,
There is no feare of me. But then, my wife is
Such an vntoward thing! shee'll neuer learne
How to comport with it! I am out of all
Conceipt, on her behalfe.

Mer.
Best haue her taught, Sir.

Fit.
Where? Are there any Schooles for Ladies? Is there
An Academy for women? I doe know,
For men, there was: I learn'd in it, my selfe,
Ingine whispers Merecraft, Merecraft turnes to Fitz-dottrel.
To make my legges, and doe my postures.

Ing.
Sir.
Doe you remember the conceipt you had—
O'the Spanish gowne, at home?

Mer.
Ha! I doe thanke thee,
With all my heart, deare Ingine. Sir, there is
A certaine Lady, here about the Towne,
An English widdow, who hath lately trauell'd,
But shee's call'd the Spaniard; cause she came
Latest from thence: and keepes the Spanish habit.
Such a rare woman! all our women heere,
That are of spirit, and fashion flocke, vnto her,
As to their President; their Law; their Canon;
More then they euer did, to Oracle-Foreman.
Such rare receipts shee has, Sir, for the face;
Such oyles; such tinctures; such pomatumn's;
Such perfumes; med'cines; quintessences, &c.
And such a Mistresse of behauiour;
She knowes, from the Dukes daughter, to the Doxey,
What is their due iust: and no more!

Fit.
O Sir!
You please me i'this, more then mine owne greatnesse.
Where is shee? Let vs haue her.

Mer.
By your patience,
We must vse meanes; cast how to be acquainted—

Fit.
Good, Sr, about it.

Mer.
We must think how, first.

Fit.
O!
I doe not loue to tarry for a thing,
When I haue a mind to't. You doe not know me.
If you doe offer it.

Mer.
Your wife must send
Some pretty token to her, with a complement,
And pray to be receiu'd in her good graces,
All the great Ladies do't,

Fit.
She shall, she shall,
What were it best to be?

Mer.
Some little toy,
I would not haue it any great matter, Sir:
A Diamant ring, of forty or fifty pound,
Would doe it handsomely: and be a gift
Fit for your wife to send, and her to take.

Fit.
I'll goe, and tell my wife on't, streight.

Mer.
Why this
Fitz-dottrel goes out.
Is well! The clothes we'haue now: But, where's this Lady?
If we could get a witty boy, now, Ingine;
That were an excellent cracke. I could instruct him,
To the true height. For any thing takes this dottrel.

Ing.
Why, Sir your best will be one o'the players!

Mer.
No, there's no trusting them. They'll talke on't,
And tell their Poets.

Ing.
What if they doe? the iest
will brooke the Stage. But, there be some of 'hem
Are very honest Lads. There's Dicke Robinson
A very pretty fellow, and comes often
To a Gentlemans chamber, a friends of mine. We had
The merriest supper of it there, one night,
The Gentlemans Land-lady invited him
To'a Gossips feast, Now, he Sir brought Dick Robinson,
Drest like a Lawyers wife, amongst 'hem all;
(I lent him cloathes) but, to see him behaue it;
And lay the law; and carue; and drinke vnto 'hem;
And then talke baudy: and send frolicks! o!
It would haue burst your buttons, or not left you
A seame.

Mer.
They say hee's an ingenious youth!

Ing.
O Sir! and dresses himselfe, the best! beyond
Forty o'your very Ladies! did you ne'r see him?

Mer.
No, I do seldome see those toyes. But thinke you,
That we may haue him?

Ing.
Sir, the young Gentleman
I tell you of, can command him. Shall I attempt it?

Enters againe.
Mer.
Yes, doe it.

Fit.
S'light, I cannot get my wife
To part with a ring, on any termes: and yet,
The sollen Monkey has two.

Mer.
It were 'gainst reason,
That you should vrge it; Sir, send to a Gold-smith,
Let not her lose by't?

Fit.
How do's she lose by't?
Is't not for her?

Mer.
Make it your owne bounty,
It will ha' the better successe; what is a matter
Of fifty pound to you, Sr.

Fit.
I'haue but a hundred
Pieces, to shew here; that I would not breake—

Mer.
You shall ha' credit, Sir. I'll send a ticket
Vnto my Gold-smith. Heer, my man comes too,
Traines enters.
To carry it fitly. How now, Traines? What birds?

Tra.
Your Cousin Euer-ill met me, and has beat mee,
Because I would not tell him where you were:
I think he has dogd me to the house too.

Fit.
Well—
You shall goe out at the back-doore, then, Traines.
You must get Guilt-head hither, by some meanes:

Tra.
'Tis impossible!

Fit.
Tell him, we haue venison,
I'll g' him a piece, and send his wife a Phesant.

Tra.
A Forrest moues not, till that forty pound,
Yo' had of him, last, be pai'd. He keepes more stirre,
For that same petty summe, then for your bond
Of sixe; and Statute of eight hundred!

Fit.
Tell him
Wee'll hedge in that. Cry vp Fitz-dottrell to him,
Double his price: Make him a man of mettall.

Tra.
That will not need, his bond is currant inough.