University of Virginia Library

SCENE 3.

—The Rajah's Snuggery in the Palace. A Persian carpet, (C.) with drinking materials, lights, hookahs. &c. Cranbourn Ali, (R.) Codja, (L.) Dost Ymillah, (L.) and the Ape (R.) discovered forming a symposium in an advanced state of festivity. They are seated at first, and sing uproariously the following.
CHORUS.
Oh, vive l'amour! cigars and cogniac!
Hurrah! hurrah! hurrah! of these we'll have our whack.

[They repeat the Chorus, joining hands, and dancing round extravagantly.
Enter the Queen of Beauty, L.
Queen.
My masters, are ye mad?
[They stop their uproar. The Ape makes a respectful obeisance.
(Coughing.)
Oh! Faugh! What smokers!
One's suffocated by these bird's-eye chokers.

Ali.
Clean glasses and a pipe!

Codja.
Somehow I feel
As if each boot had a revolving heel!
Unjustly they with chains Galileo bound—
I feel he spoke the truth—the world goes round!

Ali.
(Presenting Ape to Queen of Beauty.)
Allow me to present to you my treasure—
The friend I named.

Queen.
(Curtseying.)
I think I have pleasure
To know the gentleman.

Ali.
You know him?

Queen.
Yes;
And all about him.

[Crosses to R.
Ali.
Then we must confess,
With consternation and with wonder great,
You've form'd some odd acquaintances of late,
Which ought to be inquired into.

Queen.
Well—
Inquire away, your fears I'll soon dispel,
You're right though, people to interrogate,
Who come in such a questionable state.
SONG.

Ali.
That girl knows ev'rything.

Queen.
Your eyes on me,
Just keep, and you shall see what you shall see.

Ali.
What would you do?

Queen.
Do! make him a new man.
Set him once more on his own legs—

Ali.
You can?

Queen.
You'll see;

Ali.
Impossible.

Queen.
Dispel your fears;
I've had experience now for some few years
In Fairy matters, and I think you'll own,
In the most trying situations known.
With ogres, giants, monsters, oft in action,
I've generally given satisfaction.
Whenever fortune has provided such for me,
You ought to know, they've never proved too much for me.

Ali.
True, I was wrong to doubt your pow'rs, my daughter,
Who've seen what you can do?

Queen.
A glass of water!

Dost Ymillah presents her with a glass of water; she performs magical gesticulations over it.
Ali.
What is she after?

Codja.
I'm inclined to think
She's hocus pocussing the monkey's drink.

INCANTATION.
Queen.
Sprites, of Fairy land the flower,
Lend a friend your magic power!
Sprites who lavish'd long ago,
Fortune on Fortunio;
Gentle sylphs, who don't forget
All the claims of Percinet;
Guardians of the Minstrel boy,
Golden Lucidora's joy;
Airy forms that used to wander,
Watching o'er unseen Leander;
Light and gauzy Peri clan,
Friends to Camaralzaman;
Aid, with all your powers, one
Who her best for you has done.
[Approaching the Monkey with water, she sings
Air, “Off she goes.”

[Jarjarhees outside roars through speaking trumpet
Beware!

Queen.
Don't be alarmed, such hollow tricks we're used to
From those who have their fellow-men reduced to
The level of the brutes. Whene'er they see
Any attempt the poor dark things to free
From their captivity, by arts enlighten'd
And make them Human Beings, they get frightened.
And in the steps of light and science prowl,
Trying to stop it by some wretched howl.
[Music and thunder. Jarjarhees appears wearing a lion's head and roaring. Ali, Codja, &c., appear frightened.
(To Characters.)
You needn't go. Who minds his senseless din?
We know what creature wears the lion's skin!
Thou wear a lion's skin! Doff it, for shame,
And hang a calf-skin—

Jar.
Thank you all the same.
[Running at her with his mouth open.
We'll try—which to be the best man can boast.

Queen.
I'm told I make as good a man as most.

Jar.
You have no weapon, and perforce must suffer,

Queen.
You'll find you're playing with edged tools, my buffer!

[She stamps and waves her hand. A scimitar with the wings and head of a dove flies in—she catches it. Opens a parasol, which forms a shield.
DUETT.
“Olga Waltz.”
[The Queen of Beauty follows Jarjarhees round the stage, attacking him with scimitar.
Queen.
Now mind your evil eye, sir,
Tremble! despair! and die, sir!
Out of your hide a rise, sir,
Soon I'll be taking!

Jar.
(Roaring as she hits him.)
Oh!

Queen.
There's one for you—

Jar.
Oh!

Queen.
A stun for you—

Jar.
Oh!

Queen.
I've done for you!

Jar.
Oh!

[Jarjarhees runs out (L.) yelling in extreme agony, the Queen of Beauty following attacking him. Cranbourn Ali, Codja, Dost Ymillah, and the Ape press forward, as if watching the fight.
Ali.
Go it, my beauty!

Codja.
Anybody bet?

Dost.
Ten to one on the Curripoudah pet!

Ali.
The Genie's getting “groggy” very fast,

Dost.
He comes up “piping,”

Codja.
Now he's “heav'ly grass'd!”

Dost.
Behold! she plants “a mouse” beneath his eye,

Ali.
And now she's got his head “in chancery!”

Codja.
It's off!

Ali.
What's off?

Codja.
The Genie's head!

Dost.
But, see,
He's changed into an eagle—

Ali.
So has she!

[Music. An eagle flies across the stage (L. to R.,) followed by another, in hot chase.
Codja.
At him again, he's got no friends.

[A loud mewing and spitting is heard outside (R.)
Ali.
What's that?

Dost.
I never!

Codja.
What?

Dost.
He's changed into a cat!

Ali.
And see! my child becomes a wolf—all right!

[Crowing of a cock.
Dost.
And now, a cock!

Codja.
Pooh! pooh! that cock won't fight.

Ali.
To try foul play I'm sure she never wishes,

Dost.
They're changed again!

Ali.
Ye, gods!

Codja.
To little fishes!

Dost.
All goes on swimmingly!

Ali.
To fishes! gammon!

Codja.
It's true—the cock has changed to a cock salmon.

[Loud reports of crackers, &c. Red fire (R.)
Dost.
See, now they fight with fire!

Ali.
'Tis past endurance,
Why that's the very height of Fire Assurance!
[Jarjarhees runs in divested of lion's head (L.), with a cracker tied to his tail, &c. The Queen of Beauty after him with a squib.
Daughter, you'll burn your fingers. Go—retire!
You naughty girl! how dare you play with fire!

Queen.
Look in his face, papa, and say if I
Am not quite right to treat him as a Guy?

[Jarjarhees falls on trap
Jar.
Quarter!

Queen.
Not half a quarter!

Jar.
Mercy!

Queen.
None!

Jar.
Once! twice! the third time! Going! going!—Gone!

[A loud explosion. Jarjarhees falls rapidly through trap. Red fire.
Ali.
He went off with a bang!

Queen.
Yes, pa, and so did
Many a humbug, now like him exploded.
Humbugs and errors that in every day
Have o'er the world established their dark sway
Science attacks them—then a blaze—a roar—
A struggle brief—a smoke—and all is o'er.
Warm work, though—wasn't it?

Ali.
It was. But see—
She's out of breath. Take heart!

Codja.
She wants a knee.

[Ali supports her on his knee, Codja holds smelling bottle to her nose. Dost Ymillah fans her.
Queen.
There, that's enough! of adverse pow'r divested,
Virtue and self can work on unmolested;
(To Ape.)
Come, be a man! No more that form retain,
Monkeys avaunt! Agib's himself again!

[Throws water on Ape, who disappears. Agib appears in his place.
Ali.
What do I see? My grand Vizier!

Codja.
My 'prentice!

Agib.
Am I awake, and really compos mentis?

Queen.
You are!

Agib.
My gratitude to prove, I'm seeking
For words, but really so unused to speaking
I've been these few months, it's no easy matter.

Queen.
Well, as you're not a monkey now, don't chatter.
I've not done all I mean for you, e'en yet,
The princess from enchantment free I'll set,
Now that my adversary's power's diminish'd.
Enter a Fairy.
How now?

Fairy.
The palace!

Queen.
Well, what of it?

Fairy.
Finish'd!

Queen.
The factious opposition floor'd—I knew it.
Come, one and all—it's glass—so let's look through it!
Or stay! I'll call it to you.

Ali.
I've strong fears
The house won't hear you,

Queen.
Why not? Walls have ears.
Approach!

[The scene changes to the Interior of the Crystal Palace, discovering Gulnare supported by Fairies, &c.
Ali.
My stars!

Codja.
My eyes!

Queen.
My Crystal Palace spacious!

Gal.
(To Agib.)
My lord!

Agib.
My life!

Gul.
My love!

Agib.
My duck!

Enter Zubeydeh.
Zub.
My gracious!

Queen.
Hey day! my patience! do respect it, pray;
My work is done—I've just one word to say,
It is to you— (To Audience.)
I beg, with all submission,
To ask you how you like our Exhibition?
We leave it in your hands, with one short pray'r—
Deal gently with it—mind! it's “Glass, with care!”
We've got our Crystal Palace finish'd, yet
There's a donation we from you would get;
Say, to the produce here of Foreign Lands,
Will you just add the work of British hands?

[Indicates clapping.
FINALE, and general Dance of the Characters. Tune,—“Sir Roger de Coverley.”
Queen.
Then may we hope, e'er breaking up—

Ali.
You'll the matter taking up—

Queen.
Aid our endeavours, a jovial
Christmas party in making up.

Zub.
Don't be too hard on us pray!

Codja.
Pieta Signori, I cry again!

Zub.
And if we've been wanting to-day,
Allow us to-morrow to try again.

Agib.
Grant your smiles so flattering—

Dost.
Else our hopes all shattering—

Gul.
I'd rather be buried again—

Agib.
And I a monkey chattering.

Queen.
Though I can genies subdue—

Ali.
And dark spirits make ev'ry hour less—

Queen.
Unless I prevail, too, with you,
I feel I am utterly powerless.

Chorus.
Then may we hope, e'er breaking up, &c.