University of Virginia Library

SCENE III.

—The Genie's Subterranean Palace.
Jarjarhees standing in centre of stage, with a large black patch over his eye; Zubeydeh brushing his wings.
Zub.
There, now you'll do.

Jar.
All right—I'm off to sup;
I'll take the key with me, so don't sit up.
Stay—show a light.
[He produces a demoniac pipe, which he lights at a candle held by Zubeydeh, sending out immense volumes of smoke.
There, now—you needn't wait.
Tell your young missis that I shan't be late.

Zub
(aside.)
Wuss luck!

Jar.
And upon pain of death—d'ye hear—
See that she wants for nothing.

Zub.
(Aside.)
Never fear!
You're going out—that's all that she requires.
Yes, sir!

Jar.
And, mind, be careful of the fires;
And see the doors all right—for there's no knowing,
Just now, so many burglaries are going.
Remind me, by the bye, to re-insure
That forest entrance—we must be secure:
The charm's expired, and mortals may assail.
Let no one in.

Zub.
Of course not!

Jar.
If you fail
To mind your P's and Q's and eyes, you know,
I'll rack your bones with aches. D. I. O.
[Going.
Stop! If that imp of darkness calls about
Last year's Poor Devil Rates, just say I'm out.

[Strikes the scene, C., and disappears through it.
Zub.
SONG. (Zubeydeh.)

Enter Gulnare, 1 E. R.
Gul.
My good Zubeydeh—

Zub.
Pray, ma'am, don't take on so.

Gul.
Once taken off from hence, I ne'er had done so.
Each day his hated suit he presses stronger;
I fear he won't be trifled with much longer.
This morn he told me that the wedding day
To-morrow must be named.

Zub.
Don't name it, pray.

Gul.
But how to put him off?

Zub.
How?—Very easy.
Order your dresses, which, of course, won't please ye;
Have them refitted, alter'd, pull'd about,
Lengthen'd and shorten'd, taken in, let out.
Ne'er mind his magic!—In affairs like those,
A woman, if to work she rightly goes,
I'll back, in spite of whole demoniac legions,
To bother the entire infernal regions.

Gul.
But to what end put all these plans in force?

Zub.
The end of time, if requisite, of course.

Gul.
Good creature! though you on a demon wait,
“Thou art a spirit all too delicate
To act his earthy and abhorr'd commands.”
If I should e'er escape his dirty hands—

Zub.
Well, if you should, of my poor claims observant,
P'raps you'll remember “summut for the servant.”
Still we've small hope in these enchanted walls,
Shut from the world, where no one ever calls.

Agib.
(Outside.)
Holloa!

Gul.
What's that?

Zub.
What's what?

Gul.
Nay, that you know
Better than I—listen again!

Agib.
(Nearer.)
Holloa!

Gul.
There's somebody—at all events their voices.

Zub.
“Be not afeard—the isle is full of noises
That give delight and hurt not.”

[A noise is heard as of some one falling down stairs, accompanied by a yell of pain from Codja.
Gul.
Harmless dins!

Codja.
(Outside.)
Why don't they light the gas? I've broke my shins.

[A tapping at the door in back.
Zub.
Who's there?

Agib.
(Outside.)
A man.

Codja.
(Ditto)
And fragments of another.

Zub.
We keep a blunderbuss; go home! don't bother!

Gul.
Do let them in.

Zub.
I daren't for all the earth.
'Twere more by ten times than my place is worth.

[Agib continues knocking.
CONCERTED
“You'd better stop dat knockin'.”
Zub.
Oh, stop that row, you'll wake the dead
Your bus'ness go about;
We're all undress'd and gone to bed,
The lights are all put out.

Agib.
(Through key-hole.)
No, no, a light the keyhole through
Has shot, and flames of joy
Has kindled in my heart, which no
Cold water can destroy.

Zub.
But who's there?—Who's there?
Oh, you'd better stop that knocking at the door.

Agib., Gul.
Let me in./Let them in.

Zub.
Stop that knocking, &c.
Well, I mustn't keep 'em knocking at the door.

[Zubeydeh opens door and admits Agib and Codja.
Agib.
(Looking at Gulnare.)
Beautiful!

Gul.
(Ditto at him.)
Overpow'ring!

Zub.
Vexing!

Codja.
(Looking round.)
Plummy.

Agib.
Rare though inexplicable!

Codja.
(Looking at Zubeydeh.)
Nice, though crummy!

Agib.
I hope we don't intrude.

Zub.
Indeed you do.
If master only catches you—

Codja.
Eh—who?

Zub.
A Genie!

Codja.
(Frightened.)
Oh! we'd better not remain:
Just leave a card, and say we'll call again.

[Trying to pull Agib away.
Gul.
Stay, I implore you!

Agib.
Do you? That'll do.
Hang up my turban, please—and chairs for two.

Zub.
You'll get us into trouble—Go! like good men.

Gul.
Stay! if ye be not stones.

Codja.
We're simply woodmen.

Agib.
Now do be quiet, please.

Codja.
I only spoke;
The humble woodman tried a lowly joke,
To keep his spirits up, which fast were sinking,
To use a low-born simile, like “winking.”

Gul.
(To Zubeydeh' L.)
Do let them stay, one sees a human face
So seldom in this lone and dreary place.
No matter how they gained admission—do?

Zub.
I'm undecided—Master's out, it's true.

Codja.
Eh! for how long?

Zub.
We're sure to have fair warning—
Hearing him shout—“We won't go home till morning!”
As he's brought home on an enchanted shutter,
By imps who found him in some magic gutter.

Codja.
The woodman breathes!

Zub.
Well, p'raps, as they are here
They'd better stop to supper.

Gul.
There's a dear!

Agib.
I'll stay till morning's earliest azure hue
Streaks the dull clouds.

Codja.
I'll stay till all is blue.
For though of course the sumptuous banquet must
Be far less toothsome than the hard-earned crust;
Labour's the finest sauce that could exist,
And the hard-working woodman has a twist.

[Zubeydeh appears with a supper tray, L.
Zub.
(Aside.)
Doubts and misgivings dark my bosom chafe,
They're strangers quite—I hope the spoons are safe.

Agib.
(Looking at supper)
Huzza! three cheers for such luxurious store!

[Agib, Gulnare, and Zubeydeh seat themselves.
Codja
(Looking round for a seat.)
Three cheers! I'll trouble you for one cheer more.

[Finds a chair and sits down.
Agib.
It's a delicious dream— (to Codja)
, I say, don't shake,
I wouldn't for the world be wide awake.

Codja.
Thus does the lowly but contented heart
Resignedly pitch into ven'son tart,
And without envy or repinings vain,
Wet his hard-working whistle with champagne.

Agib.
(To Gul.)
Allow me.

Gul.
Thanks!—but now your candour taxing,
Inform me how you found your way?—

Agib.
By axing.
For once—not guessing how it would have ended,
To dark and crooked ways I had descended.
Through passages we came, which 'spite their mystery,
Prove the most interesting in my history.
[Bowing.
But may I ask some trifling explanation,
Of finding you in such a situation?

Gul.
Alas! I am engaged—

Agib.
Pray, don't say so.

Gul.
Against my will—to wed a Genie.

Agib.
Oh!
If that's all we'll soon settle him.

Gul.
(Terrified.)
He'd kill you.

Agib.
(To Zubeydeh—smiling contemptuously.)
Just ring the bell, and have him brought in, will you?

Zub.
Would'nt on no account!

Agib.
There is a bell.
He answers—then?

Zub.
Why—there's what does as well.
Whene'er we want him, which we seldom do,
We hit that talisman a stroke or two.

[Pointing to a gong hanging up.
Agib.
That!

Zub.
Yes; you know the things they advertise,
Useful for dinners, fires, or burglaries.

Agib.
That brings him, does it?

Zub.
Yes, ere you can say
“Jack Robinson.”

Agib.
Oh, p'raps he'll step this way.

[Taking the hammer of gong in his hand, and about to strike.
Zub.
Don't!

Gul.
On your life!

Agib.
Your freedom to encompass!
What's life?—

Zub.
You've no idea—the frightful rumpus!—

Agib.
(Pushing her away.)
For all my hurts leave me to find a plaster;
One! two! three!—bang!

[He strikes the Talisman fiercely; it is shivered to atoms, making a frightful crash. At the same instant Jarjarhees appears, C.
Zub.
(Staggering with horror.)
Oh! gracious goodness, master!

[She attempts to conceal Agib behind her.
Gul.
We're lost!

Jar.
Now then! explain this strange hubbub;
Bringing me hence thus early from my club.
My magic gong in atoms!—death!

Zub.
Why—that—
You see—an accident—in short—the cat!

Jar.
I smell a rat; no cat can be about—

Agib.
(Aside.)
I've been and done it, that's beyond a doubt;
'Twas that champagne—I thought to stand a dozen.

Jar.
(Discovering Agib.)
A man! Die, catiff!

[Rushing at Agib, Zubeydeh throws himself between them.
Zub.
Mercy! He's my cousin!

[Jarjarhees steps back, and trips over Codja, who has fallen drunk under the table.
Codja.
All right!

Jar.
Another 'neath my table sunk!

[Shaking him by the shoulder.
Codja.
Don't! the hard-working woodcutter is drunk!

Jar.
A woodman here! this insult is immense;
No doubt to take a chop at my expense,
Sneak'd here his timber duties to evade—

Codja.
(Falling very flat.)
Shocking depression in the timber trade!

Jar.
Who dared, within this magic-guarded place,
Suffer this log to show his hatchet face?

Codja.
(Drowsily)
Some green young faggots—

Jar.
What! my words d'ye mock?
With thine own weapon—

[Snatching the bill-hook which Agib has laid on the table, and aiming at Codja's head.
Codja.
Chip of the old block.

[Agib stays his arm as he is about to strike.
Agib.
Stop! If there's any one to blame, 'tis I.

Jar.
Then I repeat my observation—die!

Agib.
Die! who's afraid, thou dark and fiendish elf?
Say “die!”—it's what I never say myself.

Gul.
(Interposing.)
No, pray say nothing of the sort at present!

Jar.
Thou lovest him?

Gul.
I own it.

Jar.
Come—that's pleasant.
[He appears deeply affected.
Be firm, Jarjarhees; certainly I will.
(To Gul.)
“Live you, the marble-breasted tyrant still;”
But for your minion, whom I see you love—
Whom into next week's central point I'll shove—
Him will I change out of that cruel shape,
Which you prefer to mine. (To Agib.)
Become an ape!
[Music. Agib disappears, and an Ape appears in his place. He runs about the stage in the deepest distress.
Behold your love—a monster, dumb and grimy

Zub.
(Screams as the Ape approaches her.)
I never could abide 'em! Don't come nigh me!

Gul.
Oh! horrid prospect!

Jar.
Eh! I call it prime;
In that disguise, I hope he'll run some time.

Gul.
Monster! (The Ape appears distressed.)

Not you, poor brute, would I be rude to;
You're not the nasty beast that I allude to.

[Looking pointedly at Jarjarhees.
Jar.
Ma'am?

Gul.
Hence! nor dare again to press your suit;
I'd love him were he never such a brute,
[The Ape kneels gratefully to her, taking her handkerchief from her, and kissing it.
Hog, hippopotamus, or terrier-pup;
Away! I spurn thee! To Ape.)
Rise!
[Raising him, and standing proudly by him.
My monkey's up!

Jar.
(Furiously.)
This is too much—to stop it we'll endeavour;
Thus, loud-mouth'd girl, we shut you up for ever!

[Music. A Rock, R. C., encloses Gulnare. The Ape runs towards it, and knocks his head against it.
Jar.
Breakers a-head! upon that fatal rock
We both have split—recover from this shock
I never shall; but as becomes my station,
I'll try; by plunging into dissipation,
The world shall feel, since by despair I'm druv,
The terrors of a Genie cross'd in love.
Thieves, burglars, swindlers, murderers, marauders,
Who want an evil Genius, give your orders!
First, of this scene of pleasures once so dear,
Let ev'ry trace and relic disappear.

[He sinks, and the scene disappears, changing to a sea shore view, giving the appearance of a desolate island. Rocks in the foreground—calm blue sea in the back. (L.) A bluff, similar to that in the “Green Bushes.” Codja remains on his back. (R.)
Zub.
Oh! day of horror! here's a transformation,
To leave my place for such a situation;
Fiend! Genie! demon! all thy terrors scorning,
Where are my boxes and my monthly warning?
Is't thus with thee a trusting maid engages?
My luggage! oh, my notice, and my wages!
[Running up to Codja, and shaking him.
I say, look up to me—consider you
Are all that's left for me to look up to.
[The Ape touches her reproachfully on the shoulder.
Paws off, you brute! and don't my shoulders maul,
Your nasty monkey tricks have caused it all;
[The Ape withdraws sorrowfully, and ascends a tree, R. waving Gulnare's handkerchief as if for help.
We're on a desert island. Come, I say,
Let's seek for some assistance?

Codja.
(Drunkenly.)
What's to pay?

Zub.
To gather wool his little wits are going for.

Codja.
Some trifling breakages I think are owing for.

Zub.
I'll give up the attempt, though loth to do so;
An unprotected Female Rob'son Crusoe.
Here I must stay, though storms and tempests brewing.
[The Ape breaks two branches from tree with a crash.
Drat that mischievous monkey!—What's he doing?

[The Ape descends tree hastily, seizes a dry log of wood, and leaps with that and the two branches into the sea (R.) disappearing. Zubeydeh looks after him.
Zub.
Why, the young jackanapes! he's got astride
That log of wood! and paddles through the tide,
With those two sticks showing a perfect knowledge
Of both the branches of the Naval College;
He guides his bark like any old sea-dog,
And see how carefully he keeps his log!
[Music—“The Jolly Young Waterman.” The Ape appears (R.) rowing in the manner described by Zubeydeh from R. to L.
SONG.—Zebeydeh.

Runs to top of cliff L., and leaps over. A galley appears L., manned with sailors, merchants &c. The Ape on the rigging. He leaps into the water and rescues Zubeydeh, handing her up to the sailors. While they are taking her on board, he leaps ashore, seizes Codja on his back, and swims to the vessel with him. He is taken on board, and the Act closes to the music of the “Green Bushes.”