The court and parliament of beasts freely translated from The Animali Parlanti of Giambattista Casti A Poem in seven cantos. By William Stewart Rose |
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| IV. |
| V. | CANTO V. |
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| VII. |
 | The court and parliament of beasts freely translated from The Animali Parlanti of Giambattista Casti |  |
75
CANTO V.
77
TO BARTHOLOMEW FRERE. SEC. OF EMBASSY TO THE SUBLIME PORTE.
Thoughts upon inns, and table memoranda—
—Smok'd mutton chops, and ‘Sorrows of Amanda’—
Of foreign travel with our own contrasted—
—By one sad, silly slip wise prospects blasted—
—Fox jealous of the Peacock—dirty measures
Against the Birds—A Queen and courtiers' pleasures—
—The scene enliven'd by a Baboon's presence—
His science—is huzza'd by peers and peasants—
Those who cried up the Beast, conspire to vex it—
Its sense of such ill usage—rage and exit.
—Smok'd mutton chops, and ‘Sorrows of Amanda’—
Of foreign travel with our own contrasted—
—By one sad, silly slip wise prospects blasted—
—Fox jealous of the Peacock—dirty measures
Against the Birds—A Queen and courtiers' pleasures—
—The scene enliven'd by a Baboon's presence—
His science—is huzza'd by peers and peasants—
Those who cried up the Beast, conspire to vex it—
Its sense of such ill usage—rage and exit.
I
Dear Friend, I've left old Ocean's changeful scene,And am advanc'd thus far upon my journey.
—What—and no further yet than Murril Green?
—There's no short hand, for travel, writ by Gurney.
Besides, I tilburize; and, for my steed,
I draw not lightly on his wind and speed.
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II
Now, welcome cheer of inns, smok'd mutton-chops!With neither soup nor broth, to make them way!
Oh! for one grateful mess of cooling slops!
One cheerful evening, and one quiet day!
But I must back to roads and ruts to-morrow;
Mine evening's sad resource “Amanda's Sorrow.”
III
But does not foreign food and travel startle?——To swelter in a climate like Antigua,
And pant, as we have done for days, dear Bartle,
In that Sicilian bug-box, a lettiga—
Hanging o'er precipices, where to breathe
Might almost plunge you in the gulf beneath,—
IV
To guest with whisker'd Turk, who tears your muttonWith fingers plung'd in pillaw knuckle deep,
Then lights his pipe, and does not care a button
How many thousands on his cushions creep.
Whilst you, in virtue of the Sultan's firman,
Swill windy lemonade and swarm with vermin—
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V
—Pass we from Turkish to Italian city!You're pester'd here by a perverse police,
Or in the mountains baited by banditti.
The cellar and the board are of a piece.
And you must fast, or feed on what might gravel
A Hottentot. So much for foreign travel!
VI
What's a sea-voyage? To wage foolish strifeWith winds and waves; to quake at rocks and shelves.
Or, from the mere monotony of life,
To quarrel with our friends and with ourselves,
To vomit if we try to read or write,
To dose all day, to swing and swear all night.
VII
Change we our man of war's austere solemnityFor the queer hubbub of a foreign bark?
Say, does the gay transition bring indemnity
For evils, incidental to such ark?
Such ark as that for which we left the Argo?
Sailing from Agrigentum with a cargo
80
VIII
Of sulphur. Do you recollect the Rabbin?The Buffo, Beasts and Monks; the nightly rug,
The daily table, and that air-pump-cabin,
In whose dark den we've oft outwatch'd the Bug?
Such records make one question the
, which your ancient Greeks insist on.
IX
Much may be said on both sides, as to griefsAnd goods. The land's variety—we miss it;
And no man covets cots, or coral reefs.
But, on the other hand, we have no visit,
No bills to pay, no bills of fare to sit on;—
But bills of fare transport me back to Britain.
X
Who knows not what concludes our inn's sad table?That dreary dish the Lady's Magazine.
Where, if you catch an interest in the fable,
Some yet more nauseous nonsense comes between,
And you're referr'd to “our ensuing number.”
Then welcome Boots, blest harbinger of slumber!
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XI
But I'm a fool to rail at other's trash,When I can hedge and write some stuff myself.
So I'll sit down to my unhappy hash;
And lay Amanda's sorrow on the shelf.
I'll drink one glass of what they call Marsala,
And then we'll go and see the court in gala.
XII
The Fox had plann'd, with Eagle's approbation,To subsidize a corps of birds, well drill'd,
Who, in reward of their co-operation,
Were to receive the bodies of the kill'd.
And on a Fowl, arriv'd at court, he reckon'd
As one, who might his favourite project second.
XIII
For lately to the Lion-lair resortedThe Peacock, on a visit to the Parrot.
By Widow and by Whelp the bird was courted;
His tail the talk of drawing-room and garret.
'Twas settled that the visit to his friend
Was a pretext, and had a weightier end.
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XIV
And all indulg'd some silly speculation,And each maintain'd his own with due reliance;—
‘'Twas some important point concern'd the nation,
—Concern'd, perhaps, the Bird and Beast alliance:’
With other hints, with more or less of malice.
Suffice, he had the entrée of the palace.
XV
The Beasts of Court, and of the fields surrounding,Prepar'd themselves to fête the graceful stranger;
(I mean the would-be courtiers) first propounding
Their doubts to the blue Baboon, if, without danger,
Of blot, they might, on equal footing, treat
The Peacock, who'd but two, they who'd four, feet.
XVI
To these the solemn Ape: “The nicest sorters“Of scutcheons and pretences genealogick
“Say Birds have not the necessary quarters:
“But as he's of the alliance Zoölogick,
“And more, receiv'd at court, you well may wave
“Your rights, and these by cautious protest save.”
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XVII
So done; to put the matter out of doubt,The Ibis, as a bird, was not invited;
The Beaver, as amphibious, was left out:
The Peacock's self was in the Parrot slighted;
The Parrot was not ask'd, his own relation.
—What insolence! conceive his indignation!
XVIII
He went however to the Fox at home.'Twere long to tell the clatter, crowd, and stew,
How the Ass sung, as if he'd learn'd at Rome;
And Bear and Monkey danc'd a pas de deux;
Jars, jealousies, intrigues, and feverish fancies,
And waltzes, and quadrilles, and country dances.
XIX
The supper done, extemporaneous toastsWere circled to the Bird and Beast-alliance,
Full, as is wont, of rash and random boasts,
And silly prophecies, and safe defiance.
But small encouragement the crested Bird
Gave to the Beasts, who to his voice deferr'd.
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XX
‘He blam'd not Beasts who one another slay;He knew the ancient saw, that tastes were various;
But that the Birds should mingle in the fray,
Its object useless, and its end precarious,
Appear'd to him a matter passing wonder.’
Short silence follow'd, such as follows thunder.
XXI
And next a whisper circles round the room.Surprise and scorn are seen in every creature.
On every snout appears a gathering gloom:
But the Fox changes not in look or feature;
With horizontal sweep, and half-shut eyes,
He bows about him, and the assembly rise.
XXII
So have I seen some travelling fop, half Charlatan,Half Ass, (to speak precisely) of that sort,
Who write upon their cards, membre de parlement;
Invited to a petty Prince's court,
With some strange speech electrify the table;
And live thenceforth the court and city's fable.
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XXIII
The Peacock had no further invitation:The Bird by all the quadrupeds was voted
A dogocrat; to prove this allegation,
Speeches and former anecdotes were quoted.
The Peacock, who at home was lov'd and trusted,
Hoisted his tail, and sail'd away disgusted.
XXIV
And still the cry of dogocrat wax'd louder:And every beast, who with the Foxites sided,
Found this a friend of Cato, that of Chowder:
Though, as I said before, Dogs were divided.
The feud increas'd, and grew a ground of scission;
And the Birds never flew the first division.
XXV
The Peacock gone, there came another guest,A King incog., the theme of general gabble,
By acclamations, and by crowds oppress'd,
The wonder of the great and little rabble.
Sovereign and Autocrat of those half-sunk quays
In the Afric sea, stadtholder of the Monkeys.
86
XXVI
The mawkish, missish and unmeaning gladness,This Ourang-Outang rais'd in court and city,
Was a contagious and increasing madness,
And bred the wise man's scorn, the good man's pity.
The Premier had his views; the others follow'd;
And all, in unidea'd chorus, hollow'd.
XXVII
'Twas said, and said with confident reliance,That he, at some great dinner, pos'd the Beaver,
Held peerless in Encyclopedick science,
In a dispute about the screw and lever.
The Ladies in the meantime prais'd his sandy
Whiskers, and nam'd him the Mandingo Dandy,
XXVIII
For he, the nethersands disdaining, addedMandingo to his sway, and climb'd the throne:
And now a count, incognito, he gadded.
The Queen, who hop'd to make the Brute her own,
Proffer'd him the command of a division,
Which he declin'd with thanks, but with decision.
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XXIX
Yet gratefully receiv'd the Queen's proposal,To see, in a brown coat, the last review;
And fill'd a booth, that was at her disposal,
That he might sit above the dust and stew.
I (since we all have seen such princely shows)
Pass the Queen's gracious grins, and Monkey's mows.
XXX
I should have told, to make my story plainer,How that the Lion whelp was General made;
And how the Horse was giv'n him for a Trainer,
Or dry-nurse, in his new adopted trade;
And how it pleas'd him, whisker'd like a Saracen,
To mimick strut, and air, and tone of garrison.
XXXI
His paltry passion was for swing and swagger,The soldier's bestial oaths and brutal jeering;
For sash and sabre-tache, and sword, and dagger,
And cudgelling, and caning, and cashiering.
In virtue of his charge, he at this solemn
Prelude to war, preceded the first column.
88
XXXII
And now, abreast of the Ourang-Outang's booth,In solemn state, surrounded by his staff,
He thrust his tongue between his lip and tooth,
And broke into a brutish, buffoon laugh.
For very rage, the Monkey Sovereign trembled;
But not to make a scene, his wrath dissembled.
XXXIII
A courtier too at hand, with quick inventionAnd modest whisper, interpos'd his help;
‘The royal Cub,’ he was concern'd to mention,
‘Had had convulsive gestures from a whelp.’
The Ourang-Outang heard, and gulp'd his gall;
And went that evening to the Regent's ball.
XXXIV
Perhaps the scene his recollection grated;But it was said, that from this very ball,
Strange discord 'twixt the Queen and Monkey dated,
And courtiers now abus'd him, one and all.
The females said he was but a deceiver;
The males, that he would fain decoy the Beaver.
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XXXV
'Twas time to move; in discontent and dudgeonThe Ourang-Outang left the Lion-court;
Pouch'd some ten dozen walnuts, grasp'd his bludgeon,
And gain'd, with sev'n leagu'd strides, the destin'd port.
His crew had hoisted in their stock and stingo:
So, with three cheers, weigh'd anchor for Mandingo.
| The court and parliament of beasts freely translated from The Animali Parlanti of Giambattista Casti | |