Queen Berengaria's Courtesy, and Other Poems By the Lady E. Stuart Wortley. In Three Vols |
 | I, II, III. |
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THE BALL. |
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 | Queen Berengaria's Courtesy, and Other Poems |  |
THE BALL.
Dear Mamma, you must give your first party
To-morrow—it must be a Ball!
You know you may set down to écarté,
We shan't want your presence at all.
To-morrow—it must be a Ball!
You know you may set down to écarté,
We shan't want your presence at all.
Yes, I know that our rooms are too little,
And our means are extremely confined;
Can that matter a jot or a tittle,
When once we have made up our mind.
And our means are extremely confined;
Can that matter a jot or a tittle,
When once we have made up our mind.
75
'Tis of no use to say more about it,
So pray let us settle our plan;
I and Fanny can not do without it,
Now let's think o'er each smart dancing man.
So pray let us settle our plan;
I and Fanny can not do without it,
Now let's think o'er each smart dancing man.
Let us write our select invitations—
We will ask all the dandies in town;
And be sure to cut all poor relations,
Mr. Green, Mrs. Black, and Miss Brown.
We will ask all the dandies in town;
And be sure to cut all poor relations,
Mr. Green, Mrs. Black, and Miss Brown.
Lady Summers has promised to lend us
Her lovely Jardiniere so nice;
I was sure she would kindly befriend us—
No doubt 'twill be here in a trice.
Her lovely Jardiniere so nice;
I was sure she would kindly befriend us—
No doubt 'twill be here in a trice.
We will have such a load of exotics,
Dear Mamma—I dare say they'll be cheap;
I know you always find them narcotics,
But then, if you like, you can sleep.
Dear Mamma—I dare say they'll be cheap;
I know you always find them narcotics,
But then, if you like, you can sleep.
76
'Tis a pity the stairs are so narrow—
Mrs. Broadside stuck in them last week—
One need be as thin as an arrow
To mount them—and then too, they creak.
Mrs. Broadside stuck in them last week—
One need be as thin as an arrow
To mount them—and then too, they creak.
Well! this cannot be changed, it is certain,
But away the new carpet we'll take—
And remove this fine fresh staring curtain;
Why, Mamma! how you shiver and shake.
But away the new carpet we'll take—
And remove this fine fresh staring curtain;
Why, Mamma! how you shiver and shake.
Oh! the house will be truly enchanting,
When dismantled and cleared in this way—
Only one thing indeed will be wanting,
That is lamps its new charms to display.
When dismantled and cleared in this way—
Only one thing indeed will be wanting,
That is lamps its new charms to display.
A huge chandelier very splendid
We must purchase whate'er be the price;
Money cannot be better expended—
Oh! 'twill be so delightful and nice!
We must purchase whate'er be the price;
Money cannot be better expended—
Oh! 'twill be so delightful and nice!
77
These floors will need scrubbing and cleaning,
So we better had all stay up stairs!
'Gainst the wall must the Chaperones rest leaning,
For indeed there is no room for chairs.
So we better had all stay up stairs!
'Gainst the wall must the Chaperones rest leaning,
For indeed there is no room for chairs.
If the heat should be quite overpowering,
We must open the windows and doors;
What a great deal of sweeping and scouring
Will be needed to brighten these floors.
We must open the windows and doors;
What a great deal of sweeping and scouring
Will be needed to brighten these floors.
Oh! this atmosphere's horribly choaking,
'Tis a pity my dear brother Hugh
Should be so much addicted to smoaking,
For he poisons the house through and through.
'Tis a pity my dear brother Hugh
Should be so much addicted to smoaking,
For he poisons the house through and through.
We must burn here pastilles by the dozen,
To try and get rid of the smell;
No!—Mamma! I will not ask my cousin,
You know that she ne'er dresses well.
To try and get rid of the smell;
No!—Mamma! I will not ask my cousin,
You know that she ne'er dresses well.
78
And, besides too, her hair's red as carrots;
No! I cannot invite her indeed;
Nor my two maiden aunts so like parrots,
With those voices—and beaks! 'tis decreed.
No! I cannot invite her indeed;
Nor my two maiden aunts so like parrots,
With those voices—and beaks! 'tis decreed.
As for legacies—if they bereave us,
Most unjust I such conduct shall call;
If they please they may penniless leave us,
But I vow I will not spoil the ball!
Most unjust I such conduct shall call;
If they please they may penniless leave us,
But I vow I will not spoil the ball!
Mrs. Bradford, with seven plain young ladies,
I must really too, beg to decline:
Though to dance and to flirt, true, their trade is,
Not here shall they flutter and shine!
I must really too, beg to decline:
Though to dance and to flirt, true, their trade is,
Not here shall they flutter and shine!
For that old fashioned clock of your mother's,
Dear Mamma—we must have that displaced—
Mrs. Marr—Mrs. Caulfield, and others,
Say 'tis now in the very worst taste.
Dear Mamma—we must have that displaced—
Mrs. Marr—Mrs. Caulfield, and others,
Say 'tis now in the very worst taste.
79
Now pray do not fly into a passion—
We must sell it, or give, or exchange;
I abhor things so much out of fashion—
At the ball 't would look shocking and strange.
We must sell it, or give, or exchange;
I abhor things so much out of fashion—
At the ball 't would look shocking and strange.
I am sorry I can't ask Miss Drury,
(Though my friend—she's a sad hodmadod;)
But already, 'tis fact I assure ye,
We have asked a few hundred and odd.
(Though my friend—she's a sad hodmadod;)
But already, 'tis fact I assure ye,
We have asked a few hundred and odd.
If all come—'twill be quite suffocation—
But myself this will not much displease;
Since at least it will cause some sensation,
As the Season's superlative Squeeze.
But myself this will not much displease;
Since at least it will cause some sensation,
As the Season's superlative Squeeze.
| Queen Berengaria's Courtesy, and Other Poems | |