Queen Berengaria's Courtesy, and Other Poems :: :: University of Virginia Library

Confused, bewildered, and amazed
While thou wert near, I still remained,
Had the great Sun before me blazed,
Scarce had it more distress'd and pained.

And all remembrances of Thee
Are crossed and clouded in my Soul—
Must I for ever darkly be
Bound in so crushing a controul?

Oh! for Indifference but to find
The unnumbered charms that others do,
In thy transcendant Mien and Mind,
Charms every varying—ever new.

229

Unnumbered new perfections they
Observe in thee for evermore,
Who not the o'er zealous homage pay,
Which they pay who too much adore.

I prized those dear perfections so,
Which first I found and blessed in thee;
I marked not how from these did grow
An ever rich variety.

Thou to thy own great witcheries thus
Hast blinded me, who, from the first,
With awe-touched love, and tremulous,
Thy graces and thy charms rehearsed.

Oh! for Indifference, but to find
Those thousand charms that others do,
In thy so matchless Mien and Mind,
Ever increasing—ever new!

230

I know, I know I do thee wrong,
Who love thee more than all beside,
Charms without end to thee belong,
Which my rapt Mind hath ne'er descried!

I know that thus I wrong thee still,
Myself, too, wronged by Love's excess!
And have not the art, and have no skill
To make that haunting passion less!

I am like one who fired with zeal,
Kneels by the Ganges' sacred stream;
One who in speechless trance doth kneel,
Wrapt in some deep adoring dream.

The glorious River onward flows,
Clothed in its gold and azure pride;
He little of its proud course knows,
Kneeling, as spell bound, by its side.

231

The glorious River onwards flows,
And wins new splendours on its way,
Its proud variety still shows,
And changes oft its rich array.

It onwards rolls in power and pride,
And lovelier seems to grow the while,
The cloudless skies bedeck the tide
With many a sparkle—many a smile.

The beauteous River onwards flows,
And doth its stated path fulfil,
And gains and gathers, as it goes,
More beauty and more triumph still.

It maketh glad the verdant shore,
Gleaming in azure and in gold,
And gains and gathers evermore
More pomp, more pride, an hundred-fold!

232

Luxuriant kindlings—orient stains,
Bright picturings of the shore and sky,
Fair dimplings—dazzling sparkle-trains,
Its onward course diversify.

Here the crisped waves, all rose-touched shine—
There blazed with burning gold they glide—
Even like some moving molten mine
Appears the lustrous lucid tide.

Here, fringed on either side with flowers
The waters wind, and blushing play;
There many a tree majestic towers,
And statelier growths adorn their way.

But that rapt worshipper the while
His station keeps, and nothing knows
Of glancing gleam, and sparkling smile,
Whose beauty breaks the tide's repose.

233

He sees, but from one point of view,
The mighty River's rolling pride,
Hailed—honoured 'tis, with homage true,
But half its wealth is not descried.

With homage true 'tis blessed and hailed,
Sped on its swift and shining flow,
But the eye entranced, engrossed, hath failed
To mark its glory's varying show.

To mark its still increasing boast
Of splendours and of triumphs new,
How much is overlooked and lost
In Adoration's partial view.

And, like that Worshipper, I bring
To thee the homage of my heart,
How well—how wildly worshipping,
Yet but a portion and a part!

234

For, like that Worshipper, I kneel,
Wrapt in too fond and fixed a dream,
Wound up to such a pitch of zeal,
That my whole Soul absorbed might seem.

I saw thee in thy wondrous pride
Of Nature's gifts, and graces move,
And then that Soul within me died
One costly sacrifice of love.

I saw thee with a matchless store
Of rich perfections, pure and bright,
And knew and needed them no more,
With raptured heart and ravished sight.

But from perfection evermore
Dost thou to new perfection move,
Thy Soul at once was taught to adore,
It cannot rise from love to love!

235

It might not follow thy proud flight,
(Even though an angel's wings it wore,)
It reached at once Devotion's height,
How can it farther mount and soar?

And then, in rapture's deepest trance,
There stood it still, to pour forth all
Those fervent feelings which, perchance,
Were weakened by so strict a thrall!

Then stood it still in rapture's trance,
While thon, deserving more its zeal,
Didst brightly, gloriously advance,
New charms for ever to reveal!

But not unto the dazzled view
Of those with breathless Soul o'erwrought,
To thy past charms too deeply true,
To adore thy present as they ought.

236

The image stamped upon my Soul—
Doth now but represent a part
Of that transcendant, perfect whole,
Which claims the love of every heart!

But on that image I have gazed
Till I am blind to all beside,
And watched and worshipped, prized and praised,
Till all but that, for me, hath died!

Forgive me, that I thus must fail
To render thee thy rightful due,
The barque obeys the on-speeding gale,
The trembling needle must be true!

It cannot change—it never gains
From winds or waves, that varying pass,
A different impulse—but remains
For ever what at first it was!

237

No deeper homage can it show
Unto that star it doth adore,
Howe'er that star's soft rays may glow,
Brighter or fainter—less or more!

And yet, Oh! yet, I fain would learn,
From zeal to zeal to travel on,
With love still born from love, to burn—
For thy sake ruined and undone!

But my Devotion is so deep,
To all thou hast been—wert before,
A silence, like a charmed sleep,
Hath fallen upon my true Heart's core!

Oh! for Indifference, for awhile
To learn those dazzling looks by heart,
To study each transcendant smile,
And perfect make my lover's part!

238

For ill that noble part I play,
Who see thee but as first I saw,
While thou acquirest, day by day,
Fresh powers to charm by some sweet law!

Oh! for Indifference, for awhile,
All, all thy dazzling looks to learn,
And then, o'erpowered by one dear smile,
With Love a thousand-fold to burn!

For calm Indifference, for awhile,
To see thee all that now thou art,
To study each consummate smile,
And perfect make my lover's part!