Miscellaneous writings of the late Dr. Maginn edited by Dr. Shelton Mackenzie |
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Lib. III. Carmen XIX.
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 | Miscellaneous writings of the late Dr. Maginn |  |
109
Lib. III. Carmen XIX.
Quantum distet ab Inacho, &c.
Don't bother me with your old tales of Plantagenet,
Your stories of Richard, or Harry, or Ned,
Greater nonsense than such, why, I can not imagine it—
We have heard long ago what of them can be said.
Come, tell me the place where I'll get the best bottle,
The strongest of tumblers, the mildest segars,
Or where I'd most chances of wetting my throttle
By the fire of a friend, when the coppers are scarce.
Your stories of Richard, or Harry, or Ned,
Greater nonsense than such, why, I can not imagine it—
We have heard long ago what of them can be said.
Come, tell me the place where I'll get the best bottle,
The strongest of tumblers, the mildest segars,
Or where I'd most chances of wetting my throttle
By the fire of a friend, when the coppers are scarce.
I call for a bumper—here, waiter, clean glasses!—
Here's the moon, or the stars, or whatever you please;—
Your health, Jack Mulrooney; so, off with “the lasses”
Why, thirty jugs more we'd demolish with ease.
Let the poet, God help him!—I see he's half muzzy—
Take no more than nine tumblers, that's one less than ten;
And those who 've a fancy to shy getting boozy,
Should not venture much further than twice that again.
Here's the moon, or the stars, or whatever you please;—
Your health, Jack Mulrooney; so, off with “the lasses”
Why, thirty jugs more we'd demolish with ease.
Let the poet, God help him!—I see he's half muzzy—
Take no more than nine tumblers, that's one less than ten;
And those who 've a fancy to shy getting boozy,
Should not venture much further than twice that again.
So ho! What's the matter? Let's kick up a riot.
Here, piper! you ruffian, come blow us a jig;—
Do you think, for a moment, I mean to be quiet?
If I do, may old Scratch run away with my wig!
Make a row! push the bottle! whoop, shout, boys, and caper.
Why the deuce should I not raise a tumult and roar?
The neighbors, you say, will look sulky and vapor,
And so will the pretty young doxy next door;—
What? old fellow's friend? Pish! Tom, here is the lady,
Black-haired and black-eyed, you 've been courting so long.
As for me—fill the glass for the dear Widow Brady
Whose three hundred a year wakes your Munsterman's song.
Here, piper! you ruffian, come blow us a jig;—
Do you think, for a moment, I mean to be quiet?
If I do, may old Scratch run away with my wig!
Make a row! push the bottle! whoop, shout, boys, and caper.
Why the deuce should I not raise a tumult and roar?
The neighbors, you say, will look sulky and vapor,
And so will the pretty young doxy next door;—
What? old fellow's friend? Pish! Tom, here is the lady,
Black-haired and black-eyed, you 've been courting so long.
As for me—fill the glass for the dear Widow Brady
Whose three hundred a year wakes your Munsterman's song.
| Miscellaneous writings of the late Dr. Maginn | |