The three tours of Doctor Syntax In search of 1. The picturesque, 2. Of consolation, 3. Of a wife. The text complete. [By William Combe] With four illustrations |
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 | The three tours of Doctor Syntax |  |
What other powers of Pat's invention,
It might have been our lot to mention;
If nought had stopp'd his tongue's career,
Or clos'd poor Lucy's curious ear,
This John-Trot verse does not profess To tell, or e'en presume to guess.
—But here the upstairs noise and riot
Disturb'd at once the kitchen's quiet.
—The damsels flew and sought the scene
Where Madam, Syntax, and the screen,
The curious medley there display'd, Which has been either sung or said.
Pat, who knew nought of what above Had happen'd or in hate or love,
Thought that whate'er should come to pass,
He might fill up another glass:—
The wine was sweet, the ale was good,
And jug in hand he list'ning stood.
Thus, while attentive to the rout, He heard a voice cry, “turn him out,
Shew the base daring wretch the door, And never let him enter more.”
He heard,—when, with a face all flame,
Down stairs in haste the cook-maid came,
And while, with staring eyes, amaz'd, He on the angry vision gaz'd
Mutt'ring strange words of dire intent Of base design and ravishment,
She seiz'd at once, then plung'd the mop Into a pail of dirty slop,
And, with a scullion's strong-arm'd grace,
Drove it full dash in Patrick's face;
Nor fail'd she with repeated blow, And deep-ton'd tongue, to bid him go.
He, at a loss the rage to shun Of this fierce kitchen Amazon,
Struggled as well as he was able By way of shield to seize the table;
And, in this strange bespatter'd state,
With hasty footsteps sought the gate.
It might have been our lot to mention;
If nought had stopp'd his tongue's career,
Or clos'd poor Lucy's curious ear,
This John-Trot verse does not profess To tell, or e'en presume to guess.
—But here the upstairs noise and riot
Disturb'd at once the kitchen's quiet.
—The damsels flew and sought the scene
Where Madam, Syntax, and the screen,
The curious medley there display'd, Which has been either sung or said.
Pat, who knew nought of what above Had happen'd or in hate or love,
Thought that whate'er should come to pass,
He might fill up another glass:—
The wine was sweet, the ale was good,
And jug in hand he list'ning stood.
Thus, while attentive to the rout, He heard a voice cry, “turn him out,
Shew the base daring wretch the door, And never let him enter more.”
He heard,—when, with a face all flame,
Down stairs in haste the cook-maid came,
And while, with staring eyes, amaz'd, He on the angry vision gaz'd
Mutt'ring strange words of dire intent Of base design and ravishment,
She seiz'd at once, then plung'd the mop Into a pail of dirty slop,
188
Drove it full dash in Patrick's face;
Nor fail'd she with repeated blow, And deep-ton'd tongue, to bid him go.
He, at a loss the rage to shun Of this fierce kitchen Amazon,
Struggled as well as he was able By way of shield to seize the table;
And, in this strange bespatter'd state,
With hasty footsteps sought the gate.
| The three tours of Doctor Syntax | |