 | Miscellanies in Prose and Verse |  |
256
Canto III.
Hunger
rejoic'd to hear the blest Command,
That Furmetary should no longer stand;
With speed he to Coffeedro's Mansion flies,
And bids the pale-fac'd Mortal quickly rise:
Arise, my Friend, for upon thee do wait,
Dismal Events, and Prodigies of Fate!
'Tis break of Day, thy sooty Broth prepare,
And all thy other Liquors for a War:
Rouse up Tobacco, whose delicious sight,
Illuminated round with Beams of Light,
To my impatient Mind will cause Delight.
How will he conquer Nostrils that presume
To stand th' Attack of his impetuous Fume,
Let handsome Teedrums too be call'd to Arms,
For he has Courage in the midst of Charms:
Sago with Counsel fills his wakeful Brains,
But then his Wisdom countervails his Pains;
'Tis he shall be your Guide, he shall effect,
That glorious Conquest which we all expect:
The brave Hectorvus shall command this Force,
He'll meet Tubcarrio's Foot, or which is worse,
Oppose the fury of Carmanniel's Horse.
For his Reward, this he shall have each Day,
Drink Coffee, then strut out, and never pay.
That Furmetary should no longer stand;
With speed he to Coffeedro's Mansion flies,
And bids the pale-fac'd Mortal quickly rise:
Arise, my Friend, for upon thee do wait,
Dismal Events, and Prodigies of Fate!
'Tis break of Day, thy sooty Broth prepare,
And all thy other Liquors for a War:
Rouse up Tobacco, whose delicious sight,
Illuminated round with Beams of Light,
To my impatient Mind will cause Delight.
How will he conquer Nostrils that presume
To stand th' Attack of his impetuous Fume,
Let handsome Teedrums too be call'd to Arms,
For he has Courage in the midst of Charms:
257
But then his Wisdom countervails his Pains;
'Tis he shall be your Guide, he shall effect,
That glorious Conquest which we all expect:
The brave Hectorvus shall command this Force,
He'll meet Tubcarrio's Foot, or which is worse,
Oppose the fury of Carmanniel's Horse.
For his Reward, this he shall have each Day,
Drink Coffee, then strut out, and never pay.
It was not long e'er the Grandees were met,
And round News-Papers, in full Order set;
Then Sago rising said, I hope you hear,
Hunger's Advice with an obedient Ear;
Our great Design admits of no delay,
Famine Commands, and we must all Obey:
That Syren which does Furmetary keep,
Long since is risen from the Bands of Sleep;
Her Spoons and Porringers with Art display'd,
Many of Hunger's Subjects have betray'd:
To Arms (Hectorvus cry'd) Coffeedro stout
Issue forth Liquor from thy scalding Spout;
Great One-and-All-i gives the first Alarms,
Then each Man snatches up offensive Arms.
To Ditch of Fleet couragiously they run,
Quicker than Thought; the Battle is begun:
Hectorvus first Tubcarrio does attack,
And by surprize soon lays him on his Back;
Thirsto and Drowtho then approaching near,
Soon overthrow two Magazines of Beer.
And round News-Papers, in full Order set;
Then Sago rising said, I hope you hear,
Hunger's Advice with an obedient Ear;
Our great Design admits of no delay,
Famine Commands, and we must all Obey:
That Syren which does Furmetary keep,
Long since is risen from the Bands of Sleep;
258
Many of Hunger's Subjects have betray'd:
To Arms (Hectorvus cry'd) Coffeedro stout
Issue forth Liquor from thy scalding Spout;
Great One-and-All-i gives the first Alarms,
Then each Man snatches up offensive Arms.
To Ditch of Fleet couragiously they run,
Quicker than Thought; the Battle is begun:
Hectorvus first Tubcarrio does attack,
And by surprize soon lays him on his Back;
Thirsto and Drowtho then approaching near,
Soon overthrow two Magazines of Beer.
The Innocent Syrena little thought,
That all these Arms against her self were brought;
Nor that in her Defence the Drink was spilt:
How could she fear, that never yet knew Guilt?
Her fragrant Juice, and her delicious Plumbs,
She does dispense, (with Gold upon her Thumbs)
Virgins and Youths arround her stood; she sate,
Inviron'd with a Wooden-Chair of State.
That all these Arms against her self were brought;
Nor that in her Defence the Drink was spilt:
How could she fear, that never yet knew Guilt?
Her fragrant Juice, and her delicious Plumbs,
She does dispense, (with Gold upon her Thumbs)
259
Inviron'd with a Wooden-Chair of State.
In the mean time Tobacco strives to vex
A numerous Squadron of the Tender Sex;
What with strong Smoak, and with his stronger Breath,
He Funks Basketia and her Son to Death.
A numerous Squadron of the Tender Sex;
What with strong Smoak, and with his stronger Breath,
He Funks Basketia and her Son to Death.
Coffeedro then with Teedrums, and the Band,
Who carry'd scalding Liquors in their Hand;
Throw watry Ammunition in their Eyes,
On which Syrena's Party, frightned flies:
Carmannio straight drives up a Bulwork strong,
And Horse opposes to Coffeedro's Throng.
Coledrivio stands for bright Syrena's Guard,
And all her rallied Forces are prepar'd;
Carmannio then to Teedrums Squadron makes,
And the lean Mortal by the Buttons takes;
Not Teedrums Arts Carmannio could beseech,
But his rough Valour throws him in the Ditch.
Syrena, tho' surpriz'd, resolv'd to be
The Great Bonduca of her Furmetry:
Before her Throne couragiously she stands,
Managing Ladlesful with both her Hands.
The numerous Plumbs, like Hail-shot flew about,
And Plenty soon dispers'd the Meager Rout.
Who carry'd scalding Liquors in their Hand;
Throw watry Ammunition in their Eyes,
On which Syrena's Party, frightned flies:
Carmannio straight drives up a Bulwork strong,
And Horse opposes to Coffeedro's Throng.
Coledrivio stands for bright Syrena's Guard,
And all her rallied Forces are prepar'd;
Carmannio then to Teedrums Squadron makes,
And the lean Mortal by the Buttons takes;
260
But his rough Valour throws him in the Ditch.
Syrena, tho' surpriz'd, resolv'd to be
The Great Bonduca of her Furmetry:
Before her Throne couragiously she stands,
Managing Ladlesful with both her Hands.
The numerous Plumbs, like Hail-shot flew about,
And Plenty soon dispers'd the Meager Rout.
So have I seen, at Fair that's nam'd from Horn,
Many a Ladle's Blow, by Prentice born;
In vain he strives their Passions to asswage,
With Threats would frighten; with soft Words engage;
Until thro' Milky-Gauntlet soundly beat,
His prudent Heels secure a quick Retreat.
Many a Ladle's Blow, by Prentice born;
In vain he strives their Passions to asswage,
With Threats would frighten; with soft Words engage;
Until thro' Milky-Gauntlet soundly beat,
His prudent Heels secure a quick Retreat.
Jamq; opus exegi, quod nec Jovis Ira nec Ignis,
Nec poterit ferrum, nec edax abolere vetustas.
Nec poterit ferrum, nec edax abolere vetustas.
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