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An EPISTLE.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

An EPISTLE.

Friend ,—
—We receiv'd your sad Epistle,
In which we understand you piss ill.
And it must be a doleful Matter,
Amidst much Fire to have no Water,
Or scalding Liquor dribbling out,
Like Drops from slow Alembick's Snout,
Which fall in liquid Burnings down,
As erst on Sodom's burning Town.
We're told the flaming Judgment there
Was for Attacking in the Rear;
An Action cowardly and base!
But here th' Attack was Face to Face

242

Thy Weapon, than which nought was braver,
Is bound, we hear, to good Behaviour;
A mean unsoldier-like Disaster,
That ne're did yet attend his Master.
And troth it is a foul Disgrace;
Reduc'd to Circumstances base
Of trading Damsel's Needle-Case.
Nay, it a Lamentable Case is,
That you're prescrib'd damn'd Close-stool Faces,
Merry as those raw Sinners make,
When first they Pill, or Bolus take:
Or straining Juggler's, when he strives
To quilt down Forks, or swallow Knives.
A dismal Sight it wou'd have been,
To see poor Talboy Penance do for Sin,
With Flannel Muffler underneath his Chin.

243

Your running Nag must surely ride ill,
Painfully rein'd by shorten'd Bridle.
So mettl'd Colts that toss and rear,
Are rode in Martingale severe,
Till they become as tame, and quiet,
As your's is now, restrain'd from Diet,
Tho' under Favour, Friend, I think
Your Nag has Store of Diet-Drink.
In your Epistolary Summons
Issu'd to Member of the Commons,
By Impulse of Poetick Rapture
(I shall not say what Verse or Chapter)
You write, You suffer Tribulation,
And that you're Clapt to save the Nation
You are so Gen'rous on this Score,
I know you wish 'twas ten times more;

244

For O! what Fame, what wond'rous Merit!
When You heroically bear it.
And Glorious 'tis, when You alone
Make a whole Nation's Curse your own!
Thus Curtius, the young Roman brave,
By Suff'ring did an Empire save:
The pious Youth, with like Design,
Leap'd in a Gulph, tho' not of Brine,
Nor half so hot, or deep as thine.
Alcides so, great Son of Jove,
Fell a Proud Sacrifice to Love,
And kindl'd up by Virtuous Bride,
Was most severely deify'd.
Thus, mighty Hero, You at last,
After twice Six such Labours past,
Like that OEtean Hercules, shall be
Enroll'd a Second Codpiece-Deity.