 | Satires And Biography |  |
THE CATASTROPHE.
AN ILLUSTRATION.
'Tis a grand trait in Policy's belief,That you should set a thief to catch a thief.
Susan and Dick, a rusticated pair,
Who'd long conceiv'd a mutual sneaking kindness,
Resolv'd th'unhallow'd rites of Love to share,
But the coy Nymph, for reasons easy guest:
(Perhaps by Decency or Fear imprest)
Wish'd to eclipse her mother's eyes by blindness.
To perpetrate that point this eager twain
Into an oven's smoky womb retreated:
But ere their exatcies were in the wane,
The sly projected business was defeated:
Peery Discretion left them in the nick,
And Cunning play'd them a confounded trick.
Sue's raptures made her perturbation light,
Her senses whirling with supreme delight;
Her virgin blood within her arteries boil'd,
And all the guardians of her fame were foil'd:
The Dame miss'd Sue—the Dame had her suspicions,
For she had been a traitress in her prime:
Tho' now her colt's tooth was decay'd by Time,
And Cupid visits but on fix'd conditions:
She sought her Susan in the cell and garret,
Out-house and pantry, but she sought in vain:
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The woodbine alcove and the browzing beeves,
At length the oven rush'd into her brain;
And there lay Sue, high-flush'd with shame, like claret!
Oh! you confounded, filthy, horrid jade,
Why faith, you're driving on a pretty trade!
Exclaim'd the Matron in a raging fury,
Ungrac'd by Pity, like a Faction's jury.
Oh Mother, Mother! quoth the trembling Sue,
Pardon this weakness—your good-will restore me.
Your feet had ne'er been led here by a clue,
Had you not play'd vagaries here before me:
This charge set all her prejudices reeling,
And op'd the flood-gates of her fellow-feeling:
What can be said? the force of Nature's great,
Venus and Sue were both the sport of Fate:
The fair of Ephesus—the Spartan's pride,
The Grace of Carthage and Uriah's bride:
Then let cold Apathy's vile tongue be still,
It ever has been thus, and ever will.
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