University of Virginia Library

From the high topmast of this nether world
Look for Ingratitude, with keener eye
Than seamen for Charybdis in a gale,
And when she's evident, ah! shun her more
Than Bruce a map, or Scythian hordes a pest:
When Gluttony within this hamlet dwelt,
And Devastation cater'd for the beast:
Dame Waddle by the Matricide expir'd!
Touch'd by maternal care and old regards,
Your Mama scrap'd the brats into our nest,
(A cosey asylum for orphan eggs);
But mark and marvel at the sad event:—
When her broad, vivifying, downy rump
Had called the dormant Ducklings into life,
They broke from their testaceous slimy cells,
Plung'd in yon clammy, green, incrusted pool,
All infamously laving in disport,
Plashing uninjur'd like a puddled Ponk!
Unnoting their Emancipator's shriek!
Who quivering stood upon the osier'd brink,
Swelling the waters with a Matron's tear:
But Virtue, striplings, is it's own reward:
Fate (who can feel for Loveliness oppress'd)
Saw, as he pick'd his teeth, the Lady's wrong,
And growing colerick as Kate the Russ,
Quickly aveng'd your clay-cold Mother's cause:
He delegated from the unblanch'd lodge
The spirit of a brave ferocious Gaul;
Shap'd like D' Aubigny's aid de camp or cook,
Hued like mahogany, with heart of flint,
Cane, bag-wig, snuff-box, spectacles and cap,
And couteau somewhat smaller than a scythe:
In less than seven moons the courier came,
From the Galaxy in a chaise and four;
By the same rout that Iris us'd of old;
Then drew his kitchen scimetar or knife,
And rapidly abridg'd their proud career,
Cut their hoop'd throats, and hush'd th'emphatic Quack!
Dragg'd out their bowels—stuff'd 'em full of sage—
Scorch'd their white bones until the marrow fried—
Untruss'd their limbs, and bid the hunger'd eat.
Thus perish the Atrocious thro' the land,
Th'ungrateful are offensive to the Gods.
If you'd be beautiful, be innocent;
The roses never blow on Guilt's lank cheek!

Avoid potations deep of Barley juice,
Which whirl the Senses in a maddening round,
And poniard Apprehension's Lynx-like troop:
Such swinish appetites abase our state.
Dolts from maturing Autumn's vintage rend
The purple clusters with a savage zeal,
Suck the enerving beverage 'till they faint,
And Reason quits the passes of the mind!
When men are thus entangled by Excess,
Demons innumerous, victorious howl,
Circe's triumphant, and Silenus laughs.