 | Satires And Biography |  |
BEANS AND BACON.
AN ILLUSTRATION.
WHEN Joe Soho was in the massy chair,All-gorgeous carv'd, and rais'd above his peers,
He ask'd a question, made his brethren stare,
Pulling his side curls down to hide—his ears!
As we've arrang'd complete both grubs and greens,
Pray in what genus shall we class our beans?
“How class our beans! cried Fungus, let me see,
“How class our beans! roar'd Horace (vis a vis)
“How class our beans!” went individual round,
And all seem'd lost in reveries profound!
Silence assum'd the absolute command,
Each head lean'd pond'rous on its kindred hand;
No band of nincompoops were e'er so pos'd,
And some o'er-wrung by study, dreamt and doz'd;
Chagrin'd, discomfited, perplex'd and pang'd
Each sober judgment by its fancy bang'd:
Some look'd towards the ceiling some—the floor,
The wisest doubted, and the wicked swore!
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And Ignorance hoodwink'd every F. R. S.
'Till an old woman (who at their desire
Was wont to empt the pot and stir the fire)
Ended the matter, as Bystanders ought,
And sav'd their brains from being pierc'd by Thought,
“Your Honors sure (quo' she) can't be mistaken,
“I always class my beans with bacon!
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