University of Virginia Library

A Mock Epithalamium, composed for the Nuptials of an illiterate Brewer and his Bride.

These Nuptial flowers the fair Maids are strewing,
I am inform'd has been long time a brevving;
Make hast to Church, good Fortune be your guide,
Till you out-gallop all that Rhime to Ride.
The love that lurks within your amorous holes,
Is not false fire, but Gods precious coles,
Which will, if no ill inundation hinders,
Shine bright, till all the world consume in cynders;
May both your hands and hearts joyn all in one,
Happy conjunction, like the Bolt and Tun:
May the Bride draw your favour with more force
Of fierce affection, then your Draymans horse:
(For Cupids coursers triumph on the ground,
When two well yoked Lovers are shod round)
Prove faithful to each other, let no stranger
(With fair pretence) lye at Loves rack and manger:
May the Brides bosome be the Bridegrooms charm,
Until her belly do rebound like Barm,
That when your liquid limbs together curl,
You may dissolve, and intermix like Purl;
So may the pregnant Port of pleasure prove
The firtil furnace of inflaming Love;
And you shall yearly reap the fruitful crops
Of children multiply'd as thick as hops;
Which issuing from Loves bed of fragrant spice,
May well be call'd the grains of Paradise:
May these wars die, and they that first begot 'um,
That every tub may stand upon's own bottom:
May your trade thrive, may no Excize man thvvart
Your private guile, or set a Spoke i' your Cart:
If you or she have done amiss, I pray
Let this conjunction prove a cleansing day:
For they vvho to a married bondage stoop,
Must be confined in the holy hoop.
May your fair bedfellow live above strife,
And overflourish the Inkeepers wife:
Although her husband can outface your Copper,
She shall both in the Church and State o're top her:
Because there is (now Idols are put down)
Small distance 'twixt the Copper and the Crown.