The honest ghost :: :: University of Virginia Library

Lalus once laugh'd to heare the Cuckow sing,
Thinking it boded some mans cuckolding;
Where now in Spring, prime season of the yeare,
The Cuckows note sounds harshest in his eare:
For he, suspicious Sot, doth make his life
A Scout to schoole th' abuses of his wife.
How now you stutting Raskal, are you made
To tax our wives abuses, and upbraid
These manlie-horned monsters which appaere
Not rare, for they're dispers'd in every Sheere;
And now have got prescription to maintaine
That they their Predecessors style retaine?
And must a scab, one that's scarse taught to speak,
With his harsh tongue, our ignominie seeke,
Filling his hatefull bill, with hawthorne leaves,
And pestring poore Actæon, with new grieves?
Unnurtur'd Lossell, canst thou find out none
To make thy Libel on, but such an one

That has no time to answer such as thou,
Having a wife finds him enough to doe?
And must thou sit neere to his garden walke,
And like a stammering gossip 'gin to talk
What ere thou sees or heares, nay somtime more
Then thou didst ever see or heare before?
Is there no Law against thy impudence,
No punnishment, our wrongs to recompence?
Me thinks if men of lower ranke forbore
To chastise thee, that hast incenst them sore;
Yet such as be of higher quality,
Should with impatience beare such injury.
And yet these branched great ones when they spy thee
“Will laugh one at another, and go by thee;
And misapply thy note, and say, this shame
Thou lyes on honour, toucheth none of them;
But some silke grogran-Jacket Citizen,
Whose mincing Minx can limit where and when
Her Court-eringo trader will repaire,
Whom she is for, while he is for the Faire.
And yet thou means of them, as well as these,
And stuts out that which all the world sees,
Reproving (harsh reproofe) the bed of honour,
Which thus is stain'd with lust insulting on her.
Thou Jarring quirister, that wont to sing,
And caroll out thy tunelesse note each Spring,
Forcing suspicion in the Jealous eare
Of some long-travail'd Merchant venturer,
Whose fishing farre for pearles hath procur'd
An angler for his wife, who hath endur'd

As many firie tryalls in that quarrell
As Ætna's quarries or Selucus barrell
In Tenedos assault: and yet might she
Enjoy her pleasure with securitie;
If thy reporting tenure did not beare
The newes of strange suspicion to his eare.
Ill-nurtur'd nuncio, that comes ever first
Saluting us with tidings that are worst;
Breathing a jealous spirit to the mind
Of him that sees his Wife but onely kind,
(And in a modest sort) making him sweare,
That for examples sake, hee'l mangle her,
Inflicting such strange punnishment, as time
Shall brute the act, when ages do decline.
And is not this brave dealing, when a Swad
That hath no tune but one, nor ever had,
Must descant on our secret practises,
Which are so closely done, as Lynceus
With his transpiercive eyes can scarce look thorow
The night it is so dark, the place so narrow?
Must man endu'd with reasons excellence
Not reape the joy, and benefit of sense
With an embraced arme, but he must be
Checkt by the harsh note of thy jealousie?
Is there no honour dew to th'worth of man
That gaines a priviledge? No Artizan
Was ever equall to him, yet in vaine
Hath he exprest his art, when one poore staine
Can soile his beauty, and eclypse that light
Which man makes claime of, as his proper right.

Yet what Bird is there in the spatious wood,
Or desart forest, that so vainly proud
Assumes unto her self such daring state,
As to curb man, or privately to prate
What shee observ's or sees, save onely thou
That hast done this, and doest continue too?
Wood-building Robin doth the woods refuse,
And for mans love, to dwell with man doth chuse;
The Summer-Swallow, though she chattering calls
Upon her mate, yet will she tell no tales.
The nat'rall Stork, when as her parents age
Makes them keepe home, as pent up in a cage,
Shee feeds them with her travaile and re-brings
Store of reliefe upon her tender wings,
Whence to remove, if any time they seeme,
Shee is the hackney that doth carry them.
The billing bussing Turtle thought doth teke
For nought but for the losing of her mate,
Whom lost shee sighs, as if at his depart
Shee lost the better portion of her heart.
The warbling Thrush chants out her cheerful layes,
Glad at the heart, that Flora now displayes
Her various beauties, and shee seemes to sing
A Caroll for the Spring-times wellcomming.
The lively Lennet, that is wont to feed
Upon no other meat then thistle seed,

Cheeres up her selfe, and with her merry note,
Shews that content hath ever been her lot.
Night-mourning Philomel forsakes her nest,
And sings with pricking thorne set to her brest;
Prognes distresse occasion'd ruthfully,
Her selfe disgrac'd by Tereus villany.
The jealous, chast, and pure Porphyrio
Will have his love, not lov'd by others too;
For if a stranger in his bed he spie,
Death-struck he leaves to live, and loves to die.
The sprightly Sparrow, he his yong-ones feedes,
And as he treads he chirps, and chirps and treades;
Yet building in our Eaves, it likes him well
To heare us talke and doe what he'le not tell.
The wanton Wagtaile chats not what he hears,
But as our bosom-Counsellor forbears
To publish ought, though see full well he may
A thousand play the Wagtailes on a day.
Yea, th' very Scrichowle that may not repaire
To th'place where others priviledged are,
Haunts desart shades, and Cat like, sometime hies
To Barns and Graners, where she preyes on mice,
But never, Critick-like, will she defame
The mean'st that lives by staining their good name.
Thou only of all others that remaine,
Displaies the fate of Lording and of Swaine:

And justifies the fact, though ne're so foule,
And who is't dares thy impudence controule?
Thou may sit brousing on the Hawthorne bough,
And flout, and fleere, and libell on us too;
Yet who, though thy harsh voice do ne're so rate him,
Dare bring thee in for Scandalum magnatum?
Thou may be priviledg'd and rest secure,
Whereas if vertue play the monitor,
To tax such vices as raigne now and then
Amongst the best and highest-ranked men,
As shee in conscience must; what's her reward
But present censure, torture afterward?
Heere Minos, Radamanth, and Æacus
Will be in judgement as censorious,
As if poor vertue should be forc'd to dwell
Where they have their tribunall reer'd in Hell.
They'l terme her proud, and will avouch it too,
For what is it these great-ones may not do?
Shee must (unhappy shee) learne to be wise,
Observe mens humors, learne to temporise;
Desire to faune on great-ones, and reserve
An attribute for vice, and ever serve
A rising spirit, whose expectance gives
Life to his follower, by which hee lives.
Shee must reserve a grace to such an one
Whose honours make him worthy, and bemone
The death of such a Lord, or such a Peere,
Onley to currie favour with his Heire.
And this must vertue do, or shee must sterve;
For Idiot-like (poore foole) shee's bound to serve

In garded coat, or such like Liverie,
Or die in want, expos'd to miserie.
But Let her passe, I hope shee will not show
Respect to them, where shee doth nothing owe:
Such vicious painted-coates, who have no worth
To glory in, save eminence of birth,
Or large-extended Manors, all which can
Adde small perfection to the worth of man;
Who draws his Light, if he looke well about him,
From worth within him, & not wealth without him.
No, Vertue, no; thou knowest what merit is,
And canst discerne twixt true and seeming blisse;
Thy praises which thou usest to recite,
Taste not of gaine as doth the Parasite,
Whose oylie tongue is so inur'd to flatter,
As he will praise the man without the matter.
Nettle vice sharply, for 'tis now high time,
When shee on footcloth rides, while such decline
As beare respect to thee; but let them feele
What's to put honours spurr on vices heele.
And if thou want a Cryer to proclaime
The purport of thy Edict, I can name
One that will do it, and exactly too,
Without respect to either high or low.
Whom if thou aske, to descant on this theame,
It is the loud-voic'd Cuckow that I meane:
Whom i'le importune, if thou think it fit
To play the Cryer and to publish it.

Fronde rep'ens rostrum, repetitâ voce lacessit
Acteonem, solitos balbutiendo modos.

Vid. Calimach. & Tibull.

Vid. Plinium in natural. histo.

Basilius in Homil. 8. & 9.

Martial. in Epigram.

Faern. in Emblem.

Carduelis, quia pascitur à Cardui pilis. Vid. Varr.

Ovid. Metamorph. 6.

Alciat. in Emblem.

Catull. de Mort. Pass. Eleg. 3.

Sambuc. in Emblem, Avium.

Ovid. Metam. 6.

To the Cuckow.

Now Sir to you I must my speech intend,
That it would please you to be vertues friend,
And vices perfect foe; it's her desire
That you would be, as well you may, her Crier:
No matter though you stut and stammer too,
So many Criers, when they're brib'd, will doe.
But forasmuch she knows that none at all
Will in their charge be more impartiall,
Shee has made choice of you, not for your wit,
But for your voice, which will this charge befit.
One Spring will do't, I pray, good Sir, begin,
And leave your harsh distastfull Cuckowing.
But you will aske, what may this charge import?
I'le tell you Sir, for I did call you for't.
First to display Court-vices, which partake
To much of poison, for example sake;
For that place, like the Sunne, communicates
Her cheerfull beams to men of all estates:
Whose glory, if obscur'd by any mist
Of church-invading pilfring Simonist;
Or luke-warme Neuter, roming heretique,
Sect-inovatour, itching Scismatique,
Oppressing Ahab, painted Jezabel,
Sin-plotting Haman, or Achitophel;
Treacherous Agent that doth undermine
His countrie like another Catiline;

Profane Puntilio, Buffon, Apple-squire,
Blood-shedding Cain, that will do ought for hire,
Bribe-handed favorite or Sycophant,
That shoulders honour like an Elephant;
Cinnamon-courtier, whose very hide
Is better worth, then all his parts beside;
Riotous spend-thrift, wanton Marmosite,
Dutch-swilling Hans, Saint-seeming Hypocrite;
Whose glory if obscur'd, I say, by these,
Or any one of such like crudities,
It presently sends out these vapors to
Such places, where it did her light bestow:
For the Court exemplar is, and seemes to give
To other Parts the like prerogative.

Next to unmask, for it will be a ditie
Worthie the shrillest voice, crimes of the Citie;
Where oft is shadowed much impiety
Under pretence of meere simplicity.
There if you find a Tradesman whose chiefe care
Is to get richesse by deceitfull ware;
A smooth chin'd Prentice or a Jorney-man,
That trades with's mistresse linnen now and then;
An English Jew, that conscience-lesse inures
His godlesse soule to taking forfeitures;
A roaring Haxter, Pandor, Palliard, Bolt,
Pimp, Snap, Shark, Cheat, or any such like Colt;
Brothelling Punk, her Champion, or that Ape
Of man, though woman putting on mans shape;
If any these, as some of these you may,
You shall by your quick-sighted eye display;

Sing out amaine, and to their eares report
What they have done, though they beshrew you for 't.

Then to the Conntry, for you there shall hear
Many a biting-grating-Usurer,
Rent-racking Landlord, hoording Cormorant,
That's ever dreaming of a seven yeere want
Selfe-pining Miser, whose thick-leaved chest
Conteines his gold, the god which he loves best;
A Prodigall, whose fathers care is brought,
By his unheady providence, to nought;
Catchpoule from catch and pull taking his name,
Whose conscience's seer'd, & face admits no shame;
Counterfeite Pursevant, that dares appeare
With forg'd commission though he lose his eare:
False-tithing varlet, that will take his booke
He has tith'd right, when hee has stolne a stooke;
Brazen-fac'd Tinker, that with pike in hand,
Budget on back, bids way-beat Trav'ller stand;
Shread-miching Patch, hearing what Taylers do
Above i'th'City, he must pilfer too;
If these, or any these you chance to finde,
Pay me them home for all that is behinde:
So you shall purchase every mans good word,
And afterwards be styled vertues bird.

What Cuckow, will you turne your haggard taile,
Shall neither vertue, nor her suit prevaile?
Will not you leave your harsh-offensive note,
To follow vertue, and to weare her coate?
Well Sir, I'le paint you out a knave in graine,
And what I speake, think not but I'le maintaine;

But to particulize your rogueries,
An endlesse volumne hardly would suffice;
Some of the, chiefest therefore I'le impart,
That th'world may know how dangerous thou art:
Which in a tale, I purpose to relate,
To make short work, and thus it chanc'd of late.
“A zealous brother of the family,
“By trade a Malster, so religiously
“Imploy'd himself in mysteries divine,
“As hee was ta'ne a mirror in his time;
“For there was scarce a Sermon preached neer him
“Within seven miles, but he would go to hear him;
“From morn to night, all Sunday would he fast,
“Starving his body for his souls repast;
“And night by night, he would to Church repaire,
“Where he did shout, and bellow out his prayer.
“In briefe, now great in estimation growne
“With chiefest Famulists in all the towne;
“Hee was esteem'd the onely Rabbi there,
“So great was th'reputation hee did beare.
“And some, as I have heard, did give him power,
“Or thought him fit to be Expositour,
“Of any point when any one did move it,
“And ipse dixit was enough to prove it.
“This holy Brother now growne famous there,
“And deem'd a profess'd Doctor of the Chaire,
“Mov'd as the Spirit would, for th'spirit mov'd him,
“A Sister lov'd, and she as deerly lov'd him.
“These famulists now growne familiar,
“About Spring-time, when birds begin to paire,

“Upon mature advice resolved either,
“To marry there, or leave the towne together.
“But forasmuch it was for certaine knowne,
“This Malster was engag'd unto the towne,
“Owing farre more then ere hee ment to pay,
“Hee thought it fit no longer there to stay;
“But with his holy sister, to prepare
“To leave the Towne, and taste the Country ayre.
“This simple Sister doubting no deceite,
“Address'd her selfe one ev'ning very late
“To his direction, closly to depart
“And follow him who now possess'd her heart.
“Three dayes they had not travell'd on their way,
“Till resting them about midtime of day,
“Under a blooming Haw-thorne, they did heare
“The Cuckow sing nere th'place wherein they were:
“And over them he hover'd, as if they
“Had beene the persons which he would display;
“A Hawthorne leafe, he in his beake would put,
“And then would stut, and sing, and sing, and stut.
“Which th'zealous brother noting once or twice,
“Now jealous grown, strait from his place did rise,
“Using these words: Nay, if the birds of th' ayre,
“Whose gift I know in prophecy is rare,
“Fortell what shall befall my lot and mee,
“And in the Sky thus blab my destinie;
“Sister farwell, returne from whence you came,
“I will not wive to weave the web of shame.
“How ill his Sister tooke this foule retrait
“Of that Saint-seeming faithlesse counterfeit,

“May hence appeare: for I have often heard
“Shee fell into distraction afterward,
“Though I suppose Shee greater reason had
“To be surpriz'd with ioy, then to go mad
“For love of such a hairebraind Sot as he,
“Famous for nought save for his perjurie.
Now Sir, to whom may I impute this wrong
Done to this Maid, but to your lucklesse Song,
Which so perplext th'vow-breaking miscreant,
As shee, poor shee, must now her Darling want,
And live depriv'd of love and life together,
Running distractedly, shee knowes not whither?
But (good Thalia) whose blest influence
Gives sweetnesse of discourse and utterance;
Thou yt hast power o're tongues, restraine his tongue,
And make this bawling Cuckow henceforth dumbe;
So yeerely Maides shall to thy Shrine resort,
And free from jealous Tel-tales thank thee for't.