 | The collected works of Ambrose Bierce |  |
264
THE HUMORIST
“What is that, mother?”
“The humorist, child.
His hands are black, but his heart is mild.”
“The humorist, child.
His hands are black, but his heart is mild.”
“May I touch him, mother?”
“'Twere needlessly done:
He is slightly touched already, my son.”
“'Twere needlessly done:
He is slightly touched already, my son.”
“O, why does he wear such a ghastly grin?”
“'Tis the outward sign of a joke within.”
“'Tis the outward sign of a joke within.”
“Will he crack it, mother?”
“Not so, my saint;
'Tis meant for the Saturday Livercomplaint.”
“Not so, my saint;
'Tis meant for the Saturday Livercomplaint.”
“Does he suffer, mother?”
“God help him, yes!—
A thousand and fifty kinds of distress.”
“God help him, yes!—
A thousand and fifty kinds of distress.”
“What makes him sweat so?”
“The demons that lurk
In the fear of having to go to work.”
“Why doesn't he end, then, his life with a rope?”
“Abolition of Hell has deprived him of hope.”
“The demons that lurk
In the fear of having to go to work.”
“Why doesn't he end, then, his life with a rope?”
“Abolition of Hell has deprived him of hope.”
| The collected works of Ambrose Bierce | |