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The Punctuation Changes
Not all the changes to Lawrence's MS punctuation made by the compositors altered the specific meaning of a word, as in the case of "Only," cited above. But Lawrence used commas to introduce pauses in the narratorial voice which frequently carry a subtle innuendo, and he indicated tones of voice in speech by unorthodox use of punctuation, particularly question marks, exclamation marks and dashes, a large number of which were altered throughout the novel by the printers' house-styling. Some typical effects are illustrated below by a series of parallel quotations from the galley proofs.
(1) Removal of commas
The house was empty, except for her. (MS p. 523)
The house was empty except for her. (Knowles E1 p. 401)
(In this case, the "her" is the corpse of Mrs. Morel: hence the pause indicated by the comma.)
"Have you seen her?" Annie asked of him, sharply, after breakfast. (MS p. 524)
"Have you seen her?" Annie asked of him sharply after breakfast. (Knowles E1 p. 402)
He never thought of her, personally. Everything deep in him he denied. (MS p. 525)
He never thought of her personally. . . . (Knowles E1 p. 403)
(In his preoccupation with Walter Morel's deeper side, Lawrence somehow makes the comma lead the reader to take "personally" to indicate both Mrs and Mr Morel, to include the meaning as it affected himself; whereas Knowles's removal of the comma leads the sentence to suggest something like her as a person.)
Still the curls were fine and free, but her face was much older. . . . (MS p. 537)
Still, the curls were fine and free, but her face was much older. . . . (L. Bristow, E1 p. 418)
(Here "Still" picks up references earlier in the novel to Miriam's curls; the compositor suggests a concessive "Still" meaning "Even so", or "At least".)
(2) Exclamation mark changed to question mark
"But perhaps even then you were a bigger fool," said Dawes.
There was a touch of triumph and malice in it.
"Do you think so!" said Paul.
They were silent for some time. (MS p. 527)
. . ."Do you think so?" said Paul. . . . (Knowles E1 p. 406)
(3) The introduction of exclamation marks
"Sit down, Jack", he said.
"I don't want that chair," said Dawes.
"Sit down," Morel commanded. (MS p. 528)
. . ."Sit down!" Morel commanded. (Knowles E1 p. 407)
(4) Removal of dashes
"When are you going back?" she asked.
"Well—the rooms are taken until tomorrow, so he wants me to stop. He's going back tonight." (MS p. 529)
. . . "Well, the rooms. . . . (Knowles E1 p. 408)
(Dawes appears to hesitate more with Lawrence's dash, and to be more composed with Knowles's comma.)
He was a mean fellow after all—to take what he wanted and then give her back. (MS p. 530)
He was a mean fellow, after all, to take what he wanted and then give her back. (Knowles E1 p. 409)
(Lawrence's dash suggests: "So, in the end he turns out to be a mean fellow!—on the evidence of the fact that he takes what he wants and then gives her back." Knowles's commas suggest: "You must admit that he was a mean fellow to take what he wanted and then give her back.")
"Oh, I don't think it won't be a great deal. Only you'll find earning your own living isn't everything."
"No," she said, swallowing with difficulty. "I don't suppose it is—"
"I suppose work can be nearly everything to a man," he said. . . . (MS p. 537)
. . . "No," she said, swallowing with difficulty; "I don't suppose it is." (L. Bristow E1 p. 418)
(Lawrence's dash tantalisingly suggests Miriam might have said more but was interrupted by Paul; L. Bristow takes her statement as final.)
(5) Removal of exclamation marks
"Goodbye!" he said to Clara.
"Goodbye," she said, giving him her hand. (MS p. 531)
"Good-bye," he said to Clara.
"Good-bye," she said, giving him her hand. (L. Bristow E1 p. 410)
"Must you go straight home?"
She looked at him, then hid her face under her hat brim.
"No," she said. "No! It's not necessary." (MS p. 535)
. . . "No," she said "—no; it's not necessary." (L. Bristow E1 p. 416)
(In both these instances Lawrence's exclamation mark suggests a sort of rousing out of lethargy, a rising to the occasion, on the part of the speaker; L. Bristow's punctuation makes them sound more neutral.)
(6) Question mark added
"Hm!" he said, as she paused at a sketch. "I'd forgotten that! It's not bad, is it."
"No!" she said. . . . (MS p. 536)
"H'm!" he said, as she paused at a sketch. "I'd forgotten that. It's not bad, is it?"
"No," she said. . . . (L. Bristow E1 p. 417)
(All the tones of voice are affected here by the removal of exclamation marks and the change from fullstop to question mark.)
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