 | Saratoga in 1901 |  |
NEW YEAR'S CALLS.
Fifth Avenue Hotel, 1 A. M., Jan 2.
I don't feel like writing to-day, my head aches. I made calls
yesterday—made 125 calls. I finished them about twelve
o'clock—an hour ago.
I had my call list written off, and commenced at Sixtieth
street, and came down. My idea was to make 125 calls of five
minutes each. This would take 625 minutes, or ten hours. I
think I did it. I worked hard. I was an intermittent perpetual
motion. I did all that anybody could do. If any fellow says he
made 126 calls, he—well, he is guilty of li-bel. I tried it. I
made my 125th call with my eyes closed, and at my 126th I
swooned on the hall stairs. Nature was exhausted. Oh! but
at it a spell. The last twenty calls were made with one eye
closed. I was actually taking a mental nap all the time. My
tongue talked right straight ahead, from force of habit. Talking
came as easy as ordinary respiration. All I had to do was to
open my mouth, and the same words tumbled out:
“Hap—new year, Miss Smitte!”
“Ah, Mr. Perkins! I'm delighted—”
“May you have man' hap' returns—bye—by!”
“But ar'n't you going to drink to—”
“Thank—pleasure (drank). May you live thousand years. By—
by,” (sliding into the hall and down the front steps.)
I started at noon. Made first call on young lady.
She said, “You have many calls to make. Won't you fortify
yourself with a little sherry?”
I said I would, and drank small glass.
Called next on married lady on Fifth Avenue.
She said, “Let's drink to William.”—(You know Will is off
making calls on the girls.)
“All right, Mrs. Mason”—then we drank some nice old port
to absent William.
On Forty-ninth street met a sainted Virginia mother, who had
some real old Virginia egg-nog.
Very nice Southern egg-nog. Abused the Yankees, and
drank two glasses with Virginia mother.
On Forty-sixth street met lady who had some nice California
wine. Tried it. Then went across the street with Democratic
friend to say New Years and get some of old Skinner's 1836 brandy.
Got it. Mrs. Skinner wanted us to drink to Skinner. Drank
to Skinner, and ate lobster salad.
Met a friend, who said:
“Let's run in and see Coe, the temperance man.”
Coe said:
“Ah! happy time! Let's drink to my wife.”
Drank bottle of champagne to Mrs. Coe—then drank to children.
Drove round to Miss Thompson's, on Fifth Avenue. The
Thompsons are famous for rum punch. Tried two glasses with
Miss Thompson. Very happy. House looked lovely. Ate
brandy peaches. Good many lights. Pretty girls, quite numerous.
Drank their health. Drank claret. Then drank Roman
punch. Went out, leaving hat and a twelve-dollar umbrella in
the hat-rack.
Happy thought!—Took Charley Brown in the carriage.
Charley said, “Let's drop in on the Madison Avenue Masons.”
“All right.” dropped in. Miss Mason says, “Have some nice
old Madera?” Said, “Yes, Miss Mas'n, will have some, my
dearie.” Drank to Mrs. Mason, and ate boned turkey to young
ladies. Young ladies dressed beautifully—hair, court train, and
shoes à la Pompadour. Left overcoat and changed high hat for
fur cap. Saw a span of horses in a carriage drawn by Charley
King. Charley was tightually slight. Said he had been in to
Lees, eating boned sherry and drinking pale turkey.
Now all called on the Lambs on Thirty-fourth Avenue. Old
Lamb was round. “Lam's chops very good,” says Charley.
Also drank brandy peaches here, and ate more pony brandy.
Young ladies beau'ful—high heeled dress and shoes cut decolleté.
Great many of them. Nice Roman punch with monogram on
it. Had fried sandwich with brandy on it. Presented large
bouquet in corner to Mrs. Lamb. Exchanged hat for hall card
basket, and slid down front banisters.
Called on Vanderbilt. Hang Vanderbilt! Vanderbilt did't
rec'v calls. Carried off card basket and hung Charley's hat on
bell knob. Used Van's cards to make other calls with. Kept
calling. Called steady. Called between calls. Drank more.
Drank everywhere. Young ladies more beau'ful. Wanted us
to come back to party in the evening, Came back. Grand
party. Bernstein furnished by music. Drank more lobster
of Miss Smith's champagne in corner. Slumped plate gas-light
green silk down on to nice ice cream. Dresses wore white tarletan—young
ladies cut swallow tail. Sat on young lady's hand
and held stairs. Very happy. Fellows had been drinking.
11 P.M. Left party. Carriage outside wanted me to get into
Fred Young and promenade over to the Stewarts. Roman
punch had been drinking Fred. He invited eight other horses
to get into the fellows and ride around to the Stewarts. Stewart
tight and house closed up. Left pocketbook in card-basket outside,
and hung watch and chain over bell knob.
Called on the Furgisons. All up. Had old Burgundy. Furgison's
a brick. Took sherry. Beau'ful young lady dressed in
blue Roman punch. Opened bottle of white gross grain trimmed
with Westchester County lace. Drank it up. Got on (hic) outside
and drove driver home. Fellows getting more tete-uly
slight. Drank Pompadour rum with young lady dressed à la
Jamaica. Hadn't strength to refuse. Drank hap' (hic) new
year fifteen times—then got into Fif Thavenue Hotel, and told
driver to drive round to the carriage. Came up to letter, and
wrote this room for the Com-vertiser. Pulled coat off with the
boot-jack, and stood self up by the regster to dry. Then wrote
—(hic)—wrote more — (hic.)
U-li Perkings.
| Saratoga in 1901 | |