University of Virginia Library

4. CHAP. IV.

There is no sight more truly interesting to a
philosopher, than to contemplate a community,
where every individual has a voice in public affairs,
where every individual thinks himself the atlas of
the nation, and where every individual thinks it his
duty to bestir himself for the good of his country—
I say, there is nothing more interesting to a philosopher,
than to see such a community in a sudden
bustle of war. Such a clamour of tongues—such
a bawling of patriotism—such running hither and
thither—every body in a hurry—every body up to
the ears in trouble—every body in the way, and every
body interrupting his industrious neighbour—who is
busily employed in doing nothing! It is like witnessing
a great fire, where every man is at work
like a hero—some dragging about empty engines—
others scampering with full buckets, and spilling the
contents into the boots of their neighbours—and
others ringing the church bells all night, by way of
putting out the fire. Little firemen—like sturdy
little knights storming a breach, clambering up and

down scaling ladders, and bawling through tin
trumpets, by way of directing the attack.—Here
one busy fellow, in his great zeal to save the property
of the unfortunate, catches up an anonymous
chamber utensil, and gallants it off with an air of
as much self importance, as if he had rescued a pot
of money—another throws looking glasses and
china, out of the window, by way of saving them
from the flames, while those who can do nothing
else, to assist in the great calamity run up and
down the streets with open throats, keeping up an
incessant cry of Fire! Fire! Fire!

“When the news arrived at Corinth,” says the
grave and profound Lucian—though I own the
story is rather trite, “that Philip was about to attack
them, the inhabitants were thrown into violent
alarm. Some ran to furbish up their arms; others
rolled stones to build up the walls—every body in
short, was employed, and every body was in the
way of his neighbour. Diogenes alone, was the
only man who could find nothing to do—whereupon
determining not to be idle when the welfare of his
country was at stake, he tucked up his robe, and
fell to rolling his tub with might and main, up and
down the Gymnasium.” In like manner did every
mother's son, in the patriotic community of New
Amsterdam, on receiving the missives of Peter
Stuyvesant, busy himself most mightily in putting
things in confusion, and assisting the general uproar.

“Every man”—saith the Stuyvesant Manuscript—
“flew to arms!”—by which is meant, that not one
of our honest dutch citizens would venture to
church or to market, without an old fashioned spit
of a sword, dangling at his side, and a long dutch
fowling piece on his shoulder—nor would he go
out of a night without a lanthorn; nor turn a
corner, without first peeping cautiously round, lest
he should come unawares upon a British army—
And we are informed, that Stoffel Brinkerhoff, who
was considered by the old women, almost as brave
a man as the governor himself—actually had two
one pound swivels mounted in his entry, one pointing
out at the front door, and the other at the
back.

But the most strenuous measure resorted to on
this aweful occasion, and one which has since been
found of wonderful efficacy, was to assemble popular
meetings. These brawling convocations, I have
already shewn, were extremely obnoxious to Peter
Stuyvesant, but as this was a moment of unusual
agitation, and as the old governor was not present
to repress them, they broke out with intolerable
violence. Hither therefore, the orators and politicians
repaired, and there seemed to be a competition
among them, who should bawl the loudest, and
exceed the other in hyperbolical bursts of patriotism,
and in resolutions to uphold and defend the government.
In these sage and all powerful meetings it

was determined nem. con. that they were the most
enlightened, the most dignified, the most formidable
and the most ancient community upon the face of
the earth—and finding that this resolution was so
universally and readily carried, another was immediately
proposed—whether it was not possible
and politic to exterminate Great Britain? upon
which sixty nine members spoke most eloquently
in the affirmative, and only one arose to suggest
some doubts—who as a punishment for his treasonable
presumption, was immediately seized by the
mob and tarred and feathered—which punishment
being equivalent to the Tarpeian Rock, he was
afterwards considered as an outcast from society
and his opinion went for nothing—The question
therefore, being unanimously carried in the affirmative,
it was recommended to the grand council to
pass it into a law; which was accordingly done—
By this measure the hearts of the people at large
were wonderfully encouraged, and they waxed exceeding
choleric and valourous—Indeed the first
paroxysm of alarm having in some measure subsided;
the old women having buried all the money
they could lay their hands on; and their husbands
daily getting fuddled with what was left—the community
began even to stand on the offensive. Songs
were manufactured in low dutch and sung about
the streets, wherein the English were most woefully
beaten, and shewn no quarter, and popular addresses
were made, wherein it was proved to a certainty,
that the fate of old England depended upon the
will of the New Amsterdammers.

Finally, to strike a violent blow at the very
vitals of Great Britain, a grand caucus of the wiser
inhabitants assembled; and having purchased all
the British manufactures they could find, they
made thereof a huge bonfire—and in the patriotic
glow of the moment, every man present, who had a
hat or breeches of English workmanship, pulled it
off and threw it most undauntedly into the flames—
to the irreparable detriment, loss and ruin of the
English manufacturers. In commemoration of this
great exploit, they erected a pole on the spot, with
a device on the top intended to represent the
province of Nieuw Nederlandts destroying Great
Britain, under the similitude of an Eagle picking
the little Island of Old England out of the globe;
but either through the unskillfulness of the sculptor,
or his ill timed waggery, it bore a striking resemblance
to a goose, vainly striving to get hold of a
dumpling.