University of Virginia Library

5. CHAP. V.

As my readers and myself, are about entering
on as many perils and difficulties, as ever a confederacy
of meddlesome knights-errant wilfully
ran their heads into; it is meet that like those
hardy adventurers, we should join hands, bury all
differences, and swear to stand by one another, in
weal or woe, to the end of the enterprize. My
readers must doubtless perceive, how completely I
have altered my tone and deportment, since we
first set out together. I warrant they then thought
me a crabbed, cynical, impertinent little son of a
Dutchman; for I never gave them a civil word,
nor so much as touched my beaver, when I had occasion
to address them. But as we jogged along
together, in the high-road of my history, I gradually
began to relax, to grow more courteous, and
occasionally to enter into familiar discourse, until
at length I came to conceive a most social, companionable
kind of regard for them. This is just
my way—I am always a little cold and reserved at

first, particularly to people about whom I neither
know nor care the value of a brass farthing or a Vermont
bank note, and am only to be completely won
by long intimacy.

Besides; why should I have been sociable
to the host of how-d'ye-do acquaintances, who
flocked around me at my first appearance? They
were merely attracted by a new face; many of
them only stared me full in the title page, and
then walked off without saying a word; while
others lingered yawningly through the preface, and
having gratified their short-lived curiosity, soon
dropped off one by one.—But more especially to
try their mettle, I had recourse to an expedient,
similar to one which we are told was used, by that
peerless flower of chivalry, king Arthur; who
before he admitted any knight to his intimacy, first
required that he should shew himself superior to
danger or hardships, by encountering unheard of
mishaps, slaying some dozen giants, vanquishing
wicked enchanters, not to say a word of dwarfs,
hyppogriffs and fiery dragons. On a similar principle
I cunningly led my readers, at the first sally,
into two or three knotty chapters, where they were
most woefully belaboured and buffetted, by a host
of pagan philosophers and infidel writers. It did
my midriff good, by reason of the excessive laughter
into which I was thrown at seeing the utter
confusion and dismay of my valiant cavaliers—some

dropped down dead (asleep) on the field; others
threw down my book in the middle of the first
chapter, took to their heels, and never ceased
scampering until they had fairly run it out of sight;
when they stopped to take breath, to tell their
friends what troubles they had undergone, and to
warn all others from venturing on so thankless an
expedition. Every page thinned my ranks more
and more; and of the mighty host that first set
out, but a comparatively few made shift to survive,
in exceedingly battered condition, through the five
introductory chapters.

What then! would you have had me take such
sun shine, faint hearted recreants to my bosom, at
our first acquaintance? No—no. I reserved my
friendship for those who deserved it; for those who
undauntedly bore me company, in despite of difficulties,
dangers and fatigues. And now as to
those who adhere to me at present, I take them affectionately
by the hand.—Worthy and thrice beloved
readers! brave and well tried comrades!
who have faithfully followed my footsteps through
all my wanderings—I salute you from my heart—
I pledge myself to stand by you to the last; and to
conduct you, (so heaven speed this trusty weapon
which I now hold between my fingers,) triumphantly
to the end of this our stupenduous undertaking.

But hark! while we are thus talking, the city

of New Amsterdam is in a constant bustle. The
gallant host of warriors encamped in the bowling
green are striking their tents; the brazen trumpet
of Antony Van Corlear makes the welkin to resound
with portentous clangour—the drums beat—the
standards of the Manhattoes, of Hell-gate and of
Michael Paw wave proudly in the air. And now
behold where the mariners are busily prepared,
hoisting the sails of yon top sail schooner, and those
two clump built Albany sloops, which are to waft
the army of the Nederlanders to gather immortal
laurels on the Delaware!

The entire population of the city, man woman and
child, turned out to behold the chivalry of New Amsterdam,
as it paraded the streets previous to embarkation.
Many a dirty pocket handkerchief was
waved out of the windows; many a fair nose was
blown in melodious sorrow, on the mournful occasion.
The grief of the fair dames and beauteous
damsels of Grenada, could not have been more vociferous
on the banishment of the gallant tribe of
Abencerrages, than was that of the kind hearted
Yfrouws of New Amsterdam, on the departure of
their intrepid warriors. Every love sick maiden
fondly crammed the pockets of her hero with gingerbread
and dough-nuts—many a copper ring was exchanged
and crooked sixpence broken, in pledge of
eternal constancy—and there remain extant to this
day, some love verses written on that occasion, sufficiently

crabbed and incomprehensible to confound
the whole universe.

But it was a moving sight to see the buxom
lasses, how they hung about the doughty Antony
Van Corlear—for he was a jolly, rosy faced, lusty
bachelor, and withal a great royster, fond of his
joke and a desperate rogue among the women. Fain
would they have kept him to comfort them while
the army was away; for besides what I have said
of him, it is no more than justice to add, that he was
a kind hearted soul, noted for his benevolent attentions
in comforting disconsolate wives during the
absence of their husbands—and this made him to
be very much regarded by the honest burghers of
the city. But nothing could keep the valiant Antony
from following the heels of the old governor,
whom he loved as he did his very soul—so embracing
all the young vrouws and giving every one of them
that had good teeth and a clean mouth, a dozen
hearty smacks—he departed loaded with their kind
wishes.

Nor was the departure of the gallant Peter
among the least causes of public distress. Though
the old governor was by no means indulgent to the
follies and waywardness of his subjects; and had
turned over a complete “new leaf,” from that which
was presented in the days of William the Testy,
yet some how or another he had become strangely
popular among the people. There is something so

captivating in personal bravery, that, with the common
mass of mankind, it takes the lead of most
other merits. The simple folk of New Amsterdam
looked upon Peter Stuyvesant, as a prodigy
of valour. His wooden leg, that trophy of his martial
encounters, was regarded with reverence and
admiration. Every old burgher had a budget of
miraculous stories to tell about the exploits of Hard-koppig
Piet, wherewith he regaled his children,
of a long winter night, and on which he dwelt with
as much delight and exaggeration, as do our honest
country yeomen on the hardy adventures of old general
Putnam (or as he is familiarly termed Old
Put,) during our glorious revolution—Not an individual
but verily believed the old governor was a
match for Belzebub himself; and there was even
a story told with great mystery, and under the rose,
of his having shot the devil with a silver bullet one
dark stormy night, as he was sailing in a canoe
through Hell-gate—But this I do not record as being
an absolute fact—perish the man, who would let
fall a drop that should discolour the pure stream of
history!

Certain it is, not an old woman in New Amsterdam,
but considered Peter Stuyvesant as a tower of
strength, and rested satisfied, that the public welfare
was secure as long as he was in the city. It
is not surprising then that they looked upon his departure
as a sore affliction. With heavy hearts

they draggled at the heels of his troop, as they
marched down to the river side to embark. The
governor from the stern of his schooner, gave a
short, but truly patriarchal address to his citizens;
wherein he recommended them to comport
like loyal and peaceful subjects—to go to church
regularly on sundays, and to mind their business
all the week besides—That the women should be
dutiful and affectionate to their husbands—looking
after no bodies concerns but their own: eschewing
all gossippings, and morning gaddings—and carrying
short tongues and long petticoats. That the
men should abstain from ward meetings and porter
houses, entrusting the cares of government to
the officers appointed to support them—staying
home, like good citizens, making money for themselves,
and getting children for the benefit of their
country. That the burgomasters should look well
to the public interest—not oppressing the poor, nor
indulging the rich—not tasking their sagacity to
devise new laws, but faithfully enforcing those
which were already made—rather bending their attention
to prevent evil than to punish it; ever recollecting
that civil magistrates should consider
themselves more as guardians of public morals,
than rat catchers employed to entrap public delinquents.
Finally, he exhorted them, one and all,
high and low, rich and poor, to conduct themselves
as well as they could; assuring them that if they
faithfully and conscientiously complied with this
golden rule there was no danger but that they
would all conduct themselves well enough.—This
done he gave them a paternal benediction; the
sturdy Antony sounded a most loving farewell
with his trumpet, the jolly crews put up a lusty
shout of triumph, and the invincible armada swept
off proudly down the bay.

The good people of New Amsterdam crowded
down to the Battery—that blest resort, from
whence so many a tender prayer has been wafted,
so many a fair hand waved, so many a tearful look
been cast by lovesick damsel, after the lessening
bark, which bore her adventurous swain to distant
climes!—Here the populace watched with
straining eyes the gallant squadron, as it slowly
floated down the bay, and when the intervening
land at the Narrows shut it from their sight,
gradually dispersed with silent tongues and downcast
countenances.

A heavy gloom hung over the late bustling
city—The honest burghers smoked their pipes in
profound thoughtfulness, casting many a wistful
look to the weather cock, on the church of St. Nicholas,
and all the old women, having no longer
the presence of Hard-koppig Piet to hearten them,
gathered their children home, and barricadoed
the doors and windows every evening at sun down.

In the mean while the armada of the sturdy
Peter proceeded prosperously on its voyage, and
after encountering about as many storms and water
spouts and whales and other horrors and phenomena,
as generally befall adventurous landsmen,
in perilous voyages of the kind; after undergoing
a severe scouring from that deplorable and unpitied
malady called sea sickness; and suffering from a
little touch of constipation or dispepsy, which was
cured by a box of Anderson's pills, the whole
squadron arrived safely in the Delaware.

Without so much as dropping anchor and
giving his wearied ships time to breathe after labouring
so long in the ocean, the intrepid Peter
pursued his course up the Delaware, and made a
sudden appearance before Fort Casimer. Having
summoned the astonished garrison by a terrific
blast from the trumpet of the long winded Van
Corlear, he demanded, in a tone of thunder, an instant
surrender of the fort. To this demand Suen
Scutz, the wind dried commandant, replied in a
shrill, whiffling voice, which by reason of his extreme
spareness, sounded like the wind whistling
through a broken bellows—“that he had no very
strong reasons for refusing, except that the demand
was particularly disagreeable, as he had been ordered
to maintain his post to the last extremity.” He
requested time therefore, to consult with governor
Risingh, and proposed a truce for that purpose

The choleric Peter, indignant at having his
rightful fort so treacherously taken from him, and
thus pertinaceously withheld; refused the proposed
armistice, and swore by the pipe of St. Nicholas,
which like the sacred fire was never extinguished,
that unless the fort was surrendered in ten minutes,
he would incontinently storm the works, make all
the garrison run the gauntlet, and split their scoundrel
of a commander, like a pickled shad. To give
this menace the greater effect, he drew forth his
trusty sword, and shook it at them with such a
fierce and vigorous motion, that doubtless, if it had
not been exceedingly rusty, it would have lightened
terror into the eyes and hearts of the enemy.
He then ordered his men to bring a broadside to
bear upon the fort, consisting of two swivels, three
muskets, a long duck fowling piece and two brace
of horse pistols.

In the mean time the sturdy Van Corlear
marshalled all his forces, and commenced his warlike
operations.—Distending his cheeks like a very
Boreas, he kept up a most horrific twanging of his
trumpet—the lusty choristers of Sing-Sing broke
forth into a hideous song of battle—the warriors of
Brooklyn and the Wael bogtig blew a potent and
astounding blast on their conch shells, all together
forming as outrageous a concerto, as though five
thousand French orchestras were displaying their
skill in a modern overture—at the hearing of

which I warrant me not a Swede in the fortress
but felt himself literally distilling away, with pure
affright and bad music.

Whether the formidable front of war thus suddenly
presented, smote the garrison with sore dismay—or
whether tbe concluding terms of the summons,
which mentioned that he should surrender
at discretion, were mistaken by Suen Scutz, who
though a Swede, was a very considerate easy tempered
man—as a compliment to his discretion, I will
not take upon me to say; certain it is, he found it
impossible to resist so courteous a demand. Accordingly,
in the very nick of time, just as the cabin
boy had gone after a coal of fire, to discharge the
swivels, a chamade was beat on the rampart, by the
only drum in the garrison, to the no small satisfaction
of both parties; who, notwithstanding their
great stomach for fighting, had full as good an inclination,
to cat a quiet dinner, as to exchange black
eyes and bloody noses.

Thus did this impregnable fortress, once more
return to the domination of their high mightinesses;
Scutz, and his garrison of twenty men, were allowed
to march out with the honours of war, and the victorious
Peter, who was as generous as brave, permitted
them to keep possession of all their arms and
ammunition—the same on inspection being found
totally unfit for service, having long rusted in the magazine
of the fortress, even before it was wrested by

the Swedes from the magnanimous, but windy Von
Poffenburgh. But I must not omit to mention, that
the governor was so well pleased with the services
of his faithful squire Van Corlear, in the reduction
of this great fortress, that he made him on the spot,
lord of a goodly domain in the vicinity of New Amsterdam—which
goes by the name of Corlear's
Hook, unto this very day.[15]

The unexampled liberality of the valiant Stuyvesant,
towards the Swedes, who certainly had used
his government very scurvily—occasioned great,
surprize in the city of New Amsterdam—nay, certain
of those factious individuals, who had been
enlightened by the political meetings, that prevailed
during the days of William the Testy—but who
had not dared to indulge their meddlesome habits,
under the eye of their present ruler; now
emboldened by his absence, dared even to give
vent to their censures in the streets—Murmurs,
equally loud with those uttered by that nation of
genuine grumblers, the British, in consequence of
the convention of Portugal; were heard in the very
council chamber of New Amsterdam; and there
is no knowing whether they would not have broken

out into downright speeches and invectives, had
not the sturdy Peter, privately sent home his walking
staff, to be laid as a mace, on the table of the
council chamber, in the midst of his councillors;
who, like wise men took the hint, and forever after
held their peace.