CIX
Hygiene. Projects. The more one desires, the stronger
one's will.
The more one works, the better one works and
the more one wants to work.
The more one produces, the more fecund one
becomes.
After a debauch, one feels oneself always to be
more solitary, more abandoned.
In the moral as in the physical world, I have been
conscious always of an abyss, not only of the abyss
of sleep, but of the abyss of action, of day-dreaming,
of recollection, of desire, of regret, of remorse, of the
beautiful, of number . . . etc.
I have cultivated my hysteria with delight and
terror. Now I suffer continually from vertigo, and
today, 23rd of January, 1862, I have received a
singular warning, I have felt the wind of the wing of
madness pass over me.