University of Virginia Library

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10

IN CANADA.

After more advenchers than wood fill a book, I am here in Kanada,
safe under the protectin tail uv the British Lion, where no draftin orfiser
kin molest nor make me afraid. Halleloogy!

I never shood hev taken this step, or ruther, the succeshun uv steps
that brot me here, hed a good, sound, constooshnel doctor bin appinted
Medical Eggsaminer, fer I hev twict ez menny diseases ez wood
hev eggsemptid me, but I wuz afeerd the Eggsaminer woodent see em,
ez he aint much uv a physician anyhow, besides, he votes the Union
tickit, and hez, uv coarse, prejudisis. The Commissioner is a bluddy
Ablishnist, and besides I owe him a store bill wich hez stood about 8
years. I protest agin all sich appintments.

I left in company with 5 other invalids, wun nite a little after the
“witchin hour uv 12 M.,” ez Shakspeer hez it, and any wun beholdin
our faces wood hev bin satisfide that sum “church-yard yawned” jest
previously. We traveld all nite, “sustaned and soothed by an unfaltrin
trust” in a bottle which I, with my usual 4site, took along,
together with 2 and 1 third yards uv bolony sassige, wich I alluz use
ez a thirst-provoker. We met no interrupshen till we got within 5
miles uv Toledo, (wich we did by 5 P. M., uv the next day, wich permit
me to remark, was good travelin fer sich debillytatid cusses,) when
we wuz stopt by a pickit gard uv the “Anti-draftin Invalid League,”
who remarkt, “Who goze there?” “A invalid,” sez I. “A Peece
invalid,” sez he. “Ther aint no other kind.” sez I, whereupon sez
he, “yoor a man uv sence,” a fact uv wich I hed bin long aware. I
presentid my liqwid consiliater, when he informd me that Toledo wuz
closely watcht, that escape by steemer was impossible, and that a
small bote was our only chance. He took us to the lake shore, furnisht
us a bote, and jest as the golden sun wuz a sinkin behind the
golden horizon I bid my nativ land adoo.

I need not dwell upon the perils uv that terrible passage. Suffice
it 2 say that, fer invalids, we rowed well, and finally landed at the
little village uv Brest, wher we now air.

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11

200 Peece men are here, and I must acknowledge that we are not
treeted with that distinguished consideration usually accordid political
eggsiles. Fer instance at the tavern where I board, the parler is
partikelerly plesent, and I wuz a settin into it. In trips a girl, purty
enuff fer a man whose taste was not vishiatid 2 eat. “Shel I shet
down this window, sir?” sez she. “Why shet it down, jentle maid?”
retorts I, lookin sweet onto her. “Because,” replide she, “I thot,
perhaps, the DRAFT was too much fer ye.” A few slavish Kanajens
who set there, laft. The landlord required a month's pay in advance,
and a further deposit uv 25 cents per eggsile, as sekoority fer the
pewter spoons, wich we hev at table. To cap the climacks, last nite
a big nigger was put into eech uv our rooms, and we were forced to
sleep with em, or okkepy the floor, wich I did. The cussid nigger
laft all nite, in a manner trooly aggravatin to hear.