University of Virginia Library

PREACHES.

I preeched yisterdy, frum the folleain text: “What shell we do to
be saivd?”

This, my brethrin, is a important enquiry. Speakin ez a Dimocrat
who fer thirty yeres hez never scratched a tikkit—vewin things frum
a Dimocratic stand-pint, I hev no hesitashen in sayin that we need
savin in a eminent degree. The dark waives of fanattysism wich wuz
mear rippels in 1856, were mountin high in '60, and now they roll,

uncheckd, frum Calyforny 2 Mane. One island is yet unsquelched.
Noo Jersey yet is troo to Dimocrisy—a oasis amid the steril desert, a
green spot by the wayside, a beekon lite to the ship-reckd maryner,
a whisky-jug in Mane—thank hevin fer Noo Jersey—halleloogy! I
am prowd 2 say that I, yoor paster, wuz born in Noo Jersey—that
my father sawd wood fer the Presydent uv the Camden and Amboy,
and my mother wuz his watherwoman. Umble wuz our lot, but wat
sez the good book—“It is better to be a dorekeeper at the house uv
Dimocrasy, than a postmaster in the tents uv Abolishnism. But 2
resoom:

Wat shel we do to be saivd? This inquiry is uv pekoolyer intrest
jest now. Let we ask why do we need savin? Dimocrisy is the pure
refind salt uv the goverment—to speek uv salt savin is a abserdity.
Ah! my frends, wile Dimocrisy savd the Guverment, the Guverment
savd Dimocrisy. It wuz a strikin illustrashen uv the eternel fitnes
uv things. So long ez my venrable frend hed a Post Orifis he wood
be wus nor a loonatik ef he did not sustane the Guverment that giv
him the Post Orifis. Evrything went on, so long ez we hed the Post
Orifises. Wat we want jest now is votes—and how to get em is the
question. Whisky used to do it! but alas! the amount uv whisky
nessary to convert a Abolishnist to Dimocrisy, wood kill him afore
be cood vote—they not being seasond vessels.

We lost controle, my brethren, by bein stubbern. O! let us dodge
toat fatal errer. The last elecshen shode that we cood not lede the
people—let the peeple lede us. Ef the peeple want war, let us be
war men; ef they want peece, let us sing hosanners to peece! Ef
they want war in Ohio, let Ohio Dimicrats be war, and if Noo York
wants peece, let em be peece men. Our platform is broad enuff to
acommodait all, and on the mane question, which is Post Orifis, we
kin all agree, halleloogy!

Hevin settled the matter uv faith, we will considder that uv work,
fer faith without works is uv no moar use than a whisky punch without
the whisky. Ther must be no draft—the men must be razed by
volunteerin. Exstrordinory indoosements must be held out fer Abolishnists
to enlist—fer evry wun who goes stands a lively chance uv

trubblin us no moar. We must hev our voters back frum Canady.
My frends ther were enuff good Dimocrats in Canady to hev savd Ohio
and Noo York. They must be hum, to wunst. We need em.

We hev not suffishently improvd the nigger—we neglectid him.
Ther is 2 sides to the war question, but on nigger we air invulnerable.
Why yu ask! Becoz he has no frends. The Abolishnists air
afeerd to defend him, and by taking uv him to them we hev wun
menny a fite. O bless the Lord fer the nigger, he is our tower uv
strength.

My brethrin, he hev a big job afore us. Let us dally no longer.
Think uv the consekences uv another defeet. Sech uv our Dimocratic
leeders ez did not git commishns in the army air in a bad shaip.
They can't git whisky on tick, furever. Sum uv em hev got so low
ez to be obliged to drink dilootid camfene, wich hez a bad effeck upon
the stumick. I tride it wunst. They must be releevd. They
must hev their posishens and ther regler salaries, fer without em ther
stumicks is gone. Brethren, to the breech, to-wunst.

My church deppytised me to assertane the wherabouts uv sum
Dimocrat who hezn't exprest a opinyun sinse the war commenst, and
tender him the nominashen fer the Presidensy.