University of Virginia Library

DREAMS.

I am no speshel bleever in dreems. The gulf atwixt the material
and immaterial worlds is 2 wide to be spand by the bridj uv sleep,

ur if spand at all, the way is 2 narrer to make safe even the passij uv
a nite-mare. [Poeticle idee.] Still, the sperit may, wen loost frum
its lode uv clay, sore off in2 the dim fucher, and retane a porshen uv
its impreshns wen it agen okepies its prison-howse.

Last Saterdy nite I hed a dreme. I hed bin a redin “Cotton is
King,” and sech works, aidin my understandin with frequent drafts
frum a bottel containin “nacher's last, best gift 2 man,” and I fell
in2 a gentel slumber. I dreemd that the Confederasy hed bin successful,
that it carried out its orijinel idee, and hed subjoogatid the
northern staits. Gefferson Davis wuz roolin at Washington under the
title uv “Gefferson I, Empror uv all the Amerikys.” The Senit and
Hows uv Repsentativs hed bin dun away with by decrees, and the
biznis uv governin wuz dun solely by the Emperor and his ministers.
All to wunst I wuz in Washinton, a rolein along in a gorjus carige.
I wuz sumwat surprizd at my persnel apperans. I wuz drest in flesh
culered tites, with sandels on my feet, with dimund buckels onto em,
and on my hed wuz a crown, makin me resemble a play acter I seed
wunst a playin Richerd. Suddenly the carige stopt, and I alitid, and
assended the steps uv the Palise. It wuz a resepshun, and a chamberlin
wuz announcin the gests ez they arriv. “Earl von Seymor!”
“Count de Sammedary!” “Markuis Fernandywood!” and ez I stept
forerd wat a gush uv exstasy thrild thro my vanes as the chamberlin
(who wuz little Samcox,) showtid, “DOOK DE NASBY!” O wat
a moment!

My dreems continnerd. Methawt the nobility wuz maid up uv the
offisers uv the Confedrit armies, and sech Northern men ez hed bin
troo to the Confedrisy. The Northern staits hed bin diwided into
dookdums, and erldums and sich—my territory extending forty miles
eech way frum Wingert's Corners, whair my dookal palise wuz sitooated.
Niggers wuz dun away with, ez all the whites excepting the
privligd classes wuz serfs, wich effectooally settled the question uv
Afrikin slaivry. The nobility ownd the land and the inhabitants wuz
all pesantry, payin to the lord uv the soil, 4-fifths uv the produx. I
wuz livin in stile. We hed subjoogatid the Abolishnists, and wuz
usin their leadin men ez our meenyels. O, it wuz magnificent and

gorjus. I arose evry mornin with Summer a holdin a bason, and Waid
a pourin uv perfoomd water over my hands, after wich Gim Ashly
dryd em with towels. They wuz my servance! Poetikle justise.

In short, Gefferson Davis, ez soon as he hed the power, hed declaird
the idee uv men governin themselves a failyoor, and hed revivd
the old foodel system. France and England hed assisted him in
establishn hisself, and hed jest got the thing into good runnin order.
One seen in my dreem filled me full uv joy. I thot I wuz in my
dukel robes in my ancestrel halls, overlookin my stewart, (editer Raymond,
uv Noo York Times,) a reseevin triboot frum the happy pesantry,
wen I notist among em sum who hed refoosed me credit in the
days uv the Republic. Rage filld my sole. “Away with the hory
miscreance,” showtid I to my armd serviters, “away with em 2 the
deepest dunjun neeth the castel mote! ha! ha!” Just then I awoke

It wuz but a dreem, but it left an impreshen on my mind. “If we
succeed in smashin Lincoln and his guverment,” thawt I, “a monerkey
must ensoo, and, who nose, I may yet be Dook de Nasby!” Filled
with new zele I resoomd laber on my sermon for the morrer, on
the unconstooshnality uv the puttin down rebelyuns with muskets,
with renood wigger.