University of Virginia Library

PREACHES---SUBJECT, “THE PRODYGAL SUN.”

My brethren and sisteren: I shall maik sum remarks this mornin
based upon the bootiful parable of the prodygal sun. I wood reed 2

yoo the passij, but the Bible I hev is the only wun in the township,
and I lent it yisterdy 2 Square Gavitt, who sed swarin witnesses on
almanacs woodent do in hoss cases, and he hasent brung it back. The
skripter sez, in substance:

Ther was a certin man who hed 2 suns. The yungist hed a taist
fer that branch uv agricultooral persoots known ez sowin wild oats,
so he askt the old man fer his sheer uv the estait. He got it, turnd
it into greenbax, and went off. He commenst livin high—bording at
big hotels, and keepin trottin hosses, and playin bilyards, and sich.
In about a year he run thro his pile, and wuz ded broak. Then his
credit playd out, and he wuz in a tite place for his daily bred. The
idee struck him that he hed better put for hum, wich he did. The
old man saw him a cumin, and he run out and met him, and giv him
a new cote, and a order for a pare uv shoes, and kild a fat caff, and
hed flour doins. The oldest boy obgected 2 these sayin, “Lo I hav
servd thee these menny yeres, and thou never madest no splurge over
me, but when this thy son, who hez fooled away his pile, returns you
kill calves and sich.” Then the old man retorts sayin, “My sun who
wuz lost is found, the sheep who went astray is cum back, let us be
merry.”

My brethren, this parable applize ez well to the present time ez
though it wuz maid fer it. Uncle Samyuel is the old man, the suthern
wing uv the Dimocratic party is the proddygal, and the Abolishnists
is the oldest sun. The south got tired and went off on its own
hook. It haz, I maik no doubt, spent the heft uv its substance, and
will shortly conclude to cum home. Now the grate question uv the
hour is how shel he be reseeved. My frends, the Dimocratic rool is
to foller the scripter wen yoo can maik a pint by so doin. In this
pertikeler case Godlinis is gane, halleloogy, therefour, let us be Godly.
Let Uncle Samyooel see the repentant proddygal afar orf—let him go
out to seek him, er send Fernandy Wood, and when he hez found
him let him fall, not upon his neck, but at his feet—let him put onto
him the perple robe wich is royalty, and upon his hand a ring, wich
is dominion, wich is a improvement upon scripter.

But the Abolishnist, who is the elder sun, steps up and sez, “Nary.

He wuz a doin well and he wented out frum us, takin awl that wuz
his own, and sech ez he cood steel, all uv wich he hez spent upon
such harlots as Afrikin slaivry, Stait rites, and Suthern independence,
wich last two menshund is whited sepulkers. I sent my sons Grant,
and Rosycrance, and Benbutler after him, but lo! wen he wuz strong
and wiggerrus he did despitefully use them. Now that he is week
from hunger, let him brindle. Ef we taik him to our buzems, let
him cum on his nees, let him cast off the harlots that hav sedoost
him, that ther may be no moar trubble in all the land.”

My brethren, we must taik him back ez the old man did in the
bible. Why, do you ask? Becoz he wuz alluz the old man's pet,
and had things his own way. We wuz his frends and shared with
him the steelins, but sence he went out the Abolishn brother and his
frends hev controld things and whare air we? Eko ansers no whair!
We okepy low plasis in the sinagog, and the doggery keepers go
mournin about the streets and refuse to be comforted becoz ther cash
is not plenty, and ef we taik back the proddygal shorn of his strength,
of what avail is he to us? He must cum back ez strong as ever, he
must bring his harlots with him—he must ROOL! Then shel we
hev the Post Orifises, and then shel we agin live on the fat uv the
land, dodgin the cuss uv labor. Brethrin, let us be dillygent in this
grate work, instant in seeson and out of seeson.

A collecshun wuz takin up fer the perpus uv sending a mishunary
2 Massychusits, wich yeelded 7 dolers. Ez the amount woodent pay
the ralerode fair, it wuz voted to apply it on repairs on the church,
wich I did by havin my boots haff-sold and buyin a new hankercher.