University of Virginia Library

Act 4.

Scena. 1.

Mendatio, Anamnestes. Hevresis.
Men.

Prethee Nam, bee perswaded, ist not better go to a
feast then stay here for a fray?

Ana.

A feast? doest thinke Auditus wil make the Iudges a feast?

Men.

Faith I, why should he carry them to his house els?

Ana.

Why sirra to heare a set or two of songs, slid his banquets
are nothing but fish all soll, soll, soll? Ile teach thee wit
boy, neuer go mee to a musitions house for Iunkets, vnlesse thy
stomake lies in thine eares; for there is nothing but commending
this songs delicate aire, that motects dainty aire, this sonnets
sweete aire, that madrigalls melting aire, this dirgesse
mournfull aire, this Church aire, that Chamber aire, French aire,
English aire, Italian aire, why Lad, they bee pure Chamælions,
they feede only vpon the aire.

Men.

Chamælions? Ile be sworne some of your Fidlers be
rather Cammels, for by their good-wills they will neuer leaue
eating.

Ana.

True, and good reason, for they do nothing all the day
but stretch and grate their small guts; but ô, yonders the Ape
Heuresis: let me go I prethee.

Men.

Nay good-now stay a little, let's see his humor.

Hev.

I see no reason to the contrary, for we see the quintessence
of Wine will conuert Water into Wine; why therefore
should not the Elixar of gold turne lead into pure gold?

Men.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, he is turned Chimick sirra, it seemes so
by his talke.

Hev.

But how shall I deuise to blow the fire of Beechecoales,
with a continuall and equall blast? ha? I will haue my
bellowes driuen with a wheele, which wheele shall bee a selfe
mouer.

Ana.

Here's old turning, these Chimicks seeking to turne
Lead into Gold, turne away all their owne Siluer.

Hev.

And my wheele shall be Geometrically proportioned
into 7. or 9. concaue incircled armes, wherein I will put equall
poises, hai, hai, hai, ευρηκα, ευρηκα, I haue it, I haue it, I haue it.

Men.

Heuresis?

Hev.

But what's best to containe the Quick-siluer? ha?

Ana.

Do you remember your promise Heuresis?

Hev.

It must not be Yron, for Quick-siluer is the tyrant of
Mettles, and will soone fret it.

Ana.

Heuresis? Heuresis?

Hevr.

Nor Brasse, nor Copper, nor Mastlin, nor Minerall,
ευρηκα, ευρηκα, I haue it, I haue it, it must be.

Ana.

You haue indeed sirra, and thus much more then you
looked for. (Snappe.)

Heuresis and Anamnestes about to fight, but Mendacio parts them.
Men.

You shall not fight, but if you will alwayes disagree,
let vs haue words and no blowes; Heuresis, what reason haue
you to fall out with him?

Hev.

Because he is alwaies abusing me, and takes the vpper
hand of me euery where.

Ana.

And why not sirra? I am thy better in any place.

Hev.

Haue I beene the Author of the seauen liberall Sciences,
and consequently of all learning? haue I beene the patron
of all Mechanicall deuises, to be thy inferiour? I tell thee Anamnestes
thou hast not so much as a point but thou art beholding
to me for it.

Ana.

Good, good, but what had your inuention beene, but
for my remembrance: I can proue that thou belly-sprung inuention,
art the most improfitable member in the world, for
euersince thou wert borne thou hast beene a bloudy murtherer,
and thus I proue it: In the quiet yeares of Saturne (I remember
Iupiter was then but in his swath-bands) thou rentest
the bowels of the earth, & broughts gold to light, whose beautie
(like Hellen) set al the world by the cares, then vpō that thou
foundest out Iron, and puttest weapons in their hands, and
now in the last populous age, thou taugh'st a scab-shin frier, the
hellish inuention of pouder and gunnes.

Hev.

Cal'st it hellish? thou liest it is the admirable'st inuention
of all others, for whereas others imitate nature, this excells
nature her selfe.

Mem.

True for a Cannon will kill as many at one shot, as
Thunder doth commonly at twenty.

Ana.

Therefore more murthering art thou then the light
bolt.

Hev.

But to shewe the strength of my conceite, I haue
found out a meanes to withstand the stroke of the most violent
culuering: Mendatio thou sawest it when I demonstrated
inuention.

Ana.

What some wool-packes? or mudwalls? or such like?

Hev.

Mendatio I prethee tell it him for I loue not to bee a
trumpeter of mine owne praises.

Mendat,

I must needs confesse, this deuise to passe all
that euer I heard or saw; and thus it was, first hee takes a Faulcon,
and charges it without all deceiptes, with dry powlder
well canphred, then did hee put in a single bullet, and a great
quantity of drop shot both round and lachrimall, this done he
sets me a boy 60. paces off, iust pointe blanke ouer against the
mouth of the peece, now in the very midst of the direct line hee

fastens a post, vpon which he hangs me in a corde a Siderite, of
Herculean stone.

Ana.

Well, well, I know it well, it was found out in Ida, in
the yeare of the world—by one Magnes, whose name it retaines,
though vulgarly they call it an Adamant.

Men.

When hee had hangd this Adamant in a corde, he
comes back, and giues fire to the tutch-hole, now the powder
consumed to a voide vacuvm.

Hev.

Which is intollerable in Nature, for first shall the whole
Machin of the world, heauen, earth, sea, and ayre, returne to the
mishapen house of Chaos, then the least vacuvm be found in
the vniuerse.

Men.

The bullet and drop-shot most impetuously from the
fierie throate of the Culuering, (but o strange) no sooner
came they neere the Adamant in the corde, but they were all
arrested by the Sargent of Nature, and houered in the ayre
round about it, till they had lost the force of their motion, clasping
themselues close to the Stone in most louely manner, and
not any one flew to endanger the marke, so much did they remember
their duty to nature, that they forgot the errand they
were sent of.

Ana.

This is a very artificiall lye.

Men.

Nam beleeue it, for I saw it, and which is more, I haue
practised this deuise often: once when I had a quarrell with
one of my Lady Ueritas naked knaues, and had pointed him
the field, I conuaide into the heart of my Buckler an Adamant,
and when we met, I drew, all the foynes of his Rapier, whether
soeuer hee intended them, or howsoeuer I guided mine arme,
pointed still to the midst of my buckler, so that by this meanes,
I hurt the Knaue mortally, and my selfe came away vntoucht, to
the wonder of all the beholders.

Ana.

Sirra you speake Metaphorically, because thy witte
Mendacio alwayes drawes mens obiections to thy forethought
excuses.

Hev.

Anamnestes 'tis true, and I haue an addition to this,
which is to make the bullet, shot from the enemy, to returne
immediatly vpon the Gunner: but let all these passe, and say the
worst thou canst against me.

Ana.

I say Gunnes were found out for the quick dispatch
of mortallity, and when thou sawest men grow wise, and beget
so faire a childe as Peace, of so foule and deformed a mother
as Warre, least there should bee no murther, thou deuisest
poyson.

Men.

Nay fie Nam, vrge him not too farre.

Ana,

And last and worst, thou foundest out cookery, that
kills more then weapons, gunnes, warres or poysons, and would
destroy all, but that thou inuentedst Phisicke, thar helpes to
make away some.

Hev.

But sirra, besides all this, I deuised Pillories for such
forging villaines as thy selfe.

Ana.

Calst mee villaine?

They fight, and are parted by Mendatio.
Men.

You shall not fight as long as I am here, giue ouer
I say.

Hev.

Mendatio you offer mee great wrong to hold me, in
good-faith I shall fall out with you.

Menda.

Away, away, away, you are Inuention, are you
not.

Hev.

Yes Sir, what then?

Men.

And you remembrance?

Ana.

Well sir, well.

Men.

Then I will be Iudicium, the moderator betwixt you,
and make you both friends, come, come, shake hands, shake
hands.

Hev.

Well, well, if you will needs haue it so?

Ana.

I am in some sort content.

Mendatio walkes with them, holding them by the hands.
Men.

Why this is as it should be, when Mendatio hath Inuention
on the one hand, and Remembrance on the other, as heele
be sure neuer to bee found with Truth in his mouth: so hee
scornes to be taken in a lye, hai, hai, hai, my fine wagges whist?

Ana.

Whist.

Hev.

Whist.

SCEN. 2.

Comunis, Sensus, Memory, Phantastes, Heuresis, Anamnestes take their places on the bench, as before, Auditus on the stage, a page before him bearing his target, the field sable, an heart or, next him Tragedus appareled in black veluet, faire buskins, a fauchion &c. then Comædus in a light colloured greene taffata robe, silke stockings, pumps, gloues. &c.
Commvnis Sensvs, Memory, Phantastes, Hevresis, Anamnestes. &c.
Com.

They had some reason that held the soule a harmony,
for it is greatly delighted with musicque, howe fast wee weare
tyed by the eares to the consort of voices powder; but all is
but a little pleasure, what profitable obiects hath he?

Pha.

Your eares will teach you presently, for nowe hee is
comming, that fellowe in the bayes mee thinkes I should haue
known him; ô tis Comedus, tis so, but he is become now a daies
some thing humerous, and too too, Satyricall, vp and downe,
like his great grand-father Aristophanes.

An.
These two my Lord Comædus and Tragedus,
My fellowes both, both, twins, but so vnlike,
As birth to death, wedding to funerall:
For this that rears him selfe in buskins quainte,
Is pleasant at the first, proud in the midst:
Stately in all, and bitter death at end.
That in the pumpes doth frowne at first acquaintance:
Troble the midst, but in the end concludes,
Cloasing vp all with a sweete catastrophe?
This graue and sad disdaine with brinish teares,
That light and quick with wrinckled laughter painted;
This deales with Nobles, Kings, and Emperours:
Full of great feares, great Hopes, great enterprises,
This other trades with men of meane condition:
His proiects small, small Hopes and dangers little,
This gorgeous broidered with rich sentences:
That faire and purfled round with merriments:
Both vice detect, and vertue beautifie:
By being deaths mirrour, and lifes looking glasse.

Com.
Salutem iam primum a principio propitiam.
Mihi atque Vobis spectatores nuntio.

Pha.

Pish, pish this is a speech with no action, lets here Terence,
quid igitur faciam, &c.

Com.

Quid igitur faciam? non eam ne nunc quidam cum accusor
vltro?

Pha.

Phy, phy, phy, no more action, lend me your baies, doe
it thus. Quid igitur, &c. (he acts it after the old kinde of Pantomimick
action.)

Com. Sen.

I shold iudge this action Phantastes most absurd, vnles
we should come to a Commedy, as gentlewomen to the comencement,
only to see men speake.

Pha.

In my imagination it's excellent, for in this kinde the
hand (you knowe) is harbinger to the tongue and prouides the
words a lodging in the eares of the Auditors.

Com. Sen.

Auditus it is nowe time you make vs acquainted
with the quallity of the house you keepe in, for our better healpe
in iudgement.

Avd.
Vpon the sides of faire mount Cephalon,
Haue I two houses passing humaine skill:
Of finest matter by dame nature wrought,
Whose learned fingers haue adorn'd the same
With gorgeous porches of so strange a forme,
That they command the passingers to stay:
The dores whereof in hospitallity,
Nor day, nor night, are shut, but open wide,
Gently inuite all commers; wherevpon,
They are named the open eares of Cephalon.
But least some boulder sound should boldy rush,
And breake the nise composture of the worke,
The skilfull builder wisely hath inrangd,
An entry from each port with curious twines,
And crookt Meanders, like the laborinth,
That Dedalus fram'd to inclose the Minotaure;
At end whereof is placed a costly portall:
Resembling much the figure of a drumme,
Granting slow entrance to a priuate closet:
Where daily with a mallet in my hand,
I set and frame all words and sounds that come,
Vpon an Anuile and so make them fit:
For the perewinckling poore; that winding leades,
From my close chamber to your Lordships cell.
Thither do I chiefe Iustice of all accents,
Psyches next porter, Microcosmes front:
Learnings ritch treasure, bring discipline,
Reasons discourse, knowledge of foraigne states,
Lowd fame of great Heroes vertuous deeds:
The marrowe of graue speeches and the flowers:
Of quickest Wits, neat Iests, and pure Conceits,
And often times to ease the heauy burthen,
Of gouernment, your Lordships shoulder beare,
I thither do conduce the pleasing Nuptialls:
Of sweetest instruments with heauenly noise.
If then Auditus, haue deseru'd the best:
Let him be dignified before the rest.

Com. Sen.

Auditus I am almost a Skepticke in this matter,
scarce knowing which way the ballance of the cause will decline,
when I haue heard the rest, I will dispatch iudgement, meane
while you may depart.

Auditus leads his showe about the stage, and then goes out.

SCENA. 3.

Commvnis Sensvs, Memoria, Phantastes, Anamnestes, Heuresis as before, Olfactus in a garland of seuerall flowers, a page before him, bearing his target, his field vert, a hound argent, two Boyes with casting bottells, and two with censors with incense, another with a veluet cushion stuck with flowers, an other with a basket of hearbes, an other with a box of Oyntment, Olfactus leads them about, and making obeysance presents them before the bench.
1. Boy.

Your onely way to make a good pomander, is this,
take an ownce of the purest garden mould, clensed and steeped
seauen daies in change of motherlesse rose water, then
take the best Labdanum, Benioine, both Storaxes, amber
greece, and Ciuet, and muske, incorporate them together, and
work them into what forme you please, this if your breath bee
not to valiant, will make you smell as sweete as my Ladies
dogge.

Pha.

This Boy it should seeme represents Odor, hee is so
perfect a perfumer.

Odor.
I do my Lord, and haue at my command,
The smell of flowers, and Odoriferous drugs,
Of oyntments sweete, and excellent perfumes,
And Court-like waters, which if once you smell,
You in your heart would wish as I suppose:
That all your Body were transformed to Nose.

Pha.

Olfactus of all the Senses, your obiects haue the worst
luck, they are alwaies iarring with their contraries, for none
can weare Ciuet, but they are suspected of a proper badde
sent, where the prouerbe springs, hee smelleth best, that doth of
nothing smell.

SCENA 4.

The bench and Olfactus as before, Tobacco apparelled in a taffata mantle, his armes browne and naked, buskins made of the pilling of Osiers, his necke bare, hung with Indian leaues, his face browne painted with blewe stripes, in his nose swines teeth, on his head a painted wicker crowne, with Tobacco pipes set in it, plumes of Tobacco leaues, lead by two Indian boyes naked, with tapers in their hands, Tobacco boxes and pipes lighted.
Pha.

Foh, foh, what a smell is heare? is this one of your delightfull
obiects?

Olf.

It is your onely sent in request Sir.

Com. Sen.

What fiery fellowe is that, which smoakes so
much in the mouth?

Olf.
It is the great and puissant God of Tobacco.

Tob.
Ladoch guevarroh pufuer shelvaro baggon,
Olfia di quanon, Indi cortilo vraggon.

Pha.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, this in my opinion is the tongue of
the Antipodes.

Mem,

No I remember it very well, it was the language the
Arcadians spake, that liued long before the Moone.

Com. Sen.

What signifies it Olfactus?

Olf.

This is the mighty Emperour Tobacco, King of Trinidado,
that in being conquered, conquered all Europe, in making
them pay tribute for their smoake.

Tob.
Erfronge inglues conde hisingo,
Deuelin floscoth ma pu cocthinge.

Olf.

Expeller of Catarhes, banisher of all agues, your guts
onely salue for the greene wounds of a non plus.

Tob.

Al vulcam vercu, I parda pora side gratam, ka famala
mara, che Bauho respartera, quirara?

Olf.

Sonne to the God Vulcan, and Tellus, kinne to the father
of Myrth, called Bacchus?

Tob.
Uiscardonok, pillostuphe, pascano tinaromagas,
Pagi dagon stollisinfe, carocibato scribas.

Olf.

Genius of all Swaggerers, profest enemy to Physitions,
sweete ointment for sowre teeth, firme knot of good fellowship,
Adamant of Company, swift winde, to spred the
wings of Time, hated of none, but those that know him not,
and of so great deserts, that who so is acquainted with him,
can hardly forsake him.

Pha.

It seemes these last words were very significant, I
promise you a God of great denominatiō, he may be my Lord
Tappes for his large Titles.

Com. Sen.

But forward Olfactus, as they haue done before
you, with your discription?

Olf.
Iust in the mid'st of Cephalons round face
As 'twere a frontis-spice vnto the hill,
Olfactus lodging built in figure long,
Doubly dis-parted with two precious vaults,
The rootes whereof most richly are inclos'd,
With Orient Pearles, and sparkling Diamonds:
Beset at the end with Emerauds and Turchois,
And Rubies red, and flaming Crisolits,
At vpper end whereof in costly manner,
I lay my head betweene two spungeous pillowes,
Like faire Adonis twixt the paps of Uenus,
Where I conducting in and out the wind,
Daily examine all the ayre inspir'd.
By my pure searching, if it be pure,
And fit to serue the lungs with liuely breath:
Hence do I likewise minister perfume
Vnto the neighbour brayne, perfumes of force
To clense your head, and make your fantasie
To refine wit, and sharpe inuention
And strengthen memory, from whence it came,
That old deuotion, Incence did ordaine
To make mans spirits more apt for things diuine,
Besides a thousand more commodities,
In leiw whereof your Lordships I request,
Giue me the crowne if I deserue it best.

Olfactus leades his company aboue the Stage, and goes out.

SCENA. 5.

The Bench as before: a Page with a shield argent, an Ape proper with an apple, then Gustus with a cornu-copia in his hand, Bacchus in a Garland of leaues and Grapes, a white sute, and ouer it a thin sarsenet to his foote, in his hand a speare wreathed with vine leaues, on his arme a Target with a Tiger, Ceres with a Crowne of eares of corne, in a yellow silke robe, a bunch of poppy in her hand, a schutcheon charged with a Dragon.
Com. Sen.

In good time Gustus, haue you brought your
obiects?

Gvst.

My seruant Appetitus followeth with them.

Ap.

Come come Bacchus, you are so fat; enter enter.

Ph.

Fie, fie Gustus this is a great indecorum to bring Bacchus
alone, you should haue made Thirst led him by the hand.

Gvs.

Right Sir, but Men now a dayes drinke often when
they be not drye, besides I could not get red hearings and dried
neates tongues enough to apparell him in.

Com. Sen.

What neuer a speech of him.

Gvs.

I put an Octaue of Iambicks in his mouth, and hee
hath drunke it downe.

Ap.

Well done, Muscadine and Eggs stand hot; what butter'd
Claret? go thy way thou had'st best, for blind men that
cannot see how wickedly thou look'st—how now, what small
thin fellow, are you here? ha?

Boy.

Beere forsooth, beere forsooth.

Ap.

Beere forsooth? get you gone to the buttery, till I call
for you, you are none of Bacchus attendants, I am sure, he cannot
indure the smell of Mault. Whereas Ceres? ô well, well, is
the March-pane broken? ill luck, ill luck, come hang't, neuer
stand to set it together againe; serue out fruite there; (Enter

Boyes with a Banket, Marmolet, sweet &c. deliuer it round among

the Gentlewomen, aud goe out)
what doe you come with rostemeat
after Aples, away with it. Disgestion serue out cheese;
what, but a penny-worth, it is iust the measure of his nose that
sold it? lambs wooll; the meekest meate in the world, t'will
let any man fleece it. Snap-dragon there.

Mem.

O I remember this dish well, it was first inuented by
Pluto to intertaine Proserpina withall.

Pha.

I thinke not so Memory, for when Hercules had kild
the flaming Dragon of Hesperdia, with the Apples of that
Orchard, he made this fiery meate, in memory whereof hee
named it Snap-dragon.

Com. Sen.
Gustus, lets here your description?

Gvs.
Neare to the lowly base of Cephalon,
My house is plac'd, not much vnlike a Caue.
Yet archt aboue by wondrous workemanship
With hewen stones wrought smoother and more fine
Then Ieat or Marble fayre from Island brought.
Ouer the dore directly doth incline
A fayre Percullis of compacture strong,
To shut out all that may anoy the state,
Or health of Microcosme; and within
Is spred along board like a plyant tongue,
At which I howerly sit, and tryall take,
Of meats and drinkes needefull and delectable:
Twise euery day do I prouision make
For the sumptious kitchin of the common wealth,
which once well boyl'd, is soone distributed,
To all the members, well refreshing them
With good supplie of strength-renewing foode,
Should I neglect this musing dilligence
The body of the Realme would ruinate:
Your selfe my Lord with all your policies
And wondrous wit, could not preserue your selfe,
Nor you Phantastes, nor you Memorie;
Psyche her selfe, were't not that I repayre
Her crazie house with props of nourishment,
Would soone forsake vs: for whose dearest sake
Many a grieuous paine haue I sustain'd,
By bitter pills, and sowre purgations,
Which if I had not valiantly abidden,
She had beene long ere this departed,
Since the whole Microcosme I maintaine,
Let mee as Prince, aboue the Senses raigne.

Com. Sen.

The reasons you vrge Gustus breed a new doubt
whether it be better to be commodious or necessary, the resolution
whereof I refer to your iudgement, licensing you meane
while to depart.

(Gustus leads his shew about the stage, & goes out)

SCENA. 6.

The bench as before; Tactvs, a Page before him bearing his Scutcheon, a Tortesse sables.
Tac.
Ready anon forsooth? the Diuell she will,
Who would be toyl'd with wenches in a shew.

Com. S.
What in such anger Tactus? whats the matter?

Tac.
My Lord I had thought as other Senses did,
By sight of obiects to haue prou'd my worth;
Wherefore considering that of all the things,
That please me most, women are counted cheefe.
I had thought to haue represented in my shew,
The Queene of pleasure, Uenus and her Sonne,
Leading a Gentleman enamored,
With his sweete touching of his Mistrisse lippes,
And gentle griping of her tender hands,
And diuers pleasant relishes of touch,
Yet all contained in the bounds of chastity.

Pha.
Tactus, of all I long to see your obiects,
How comes it we haue lost those pretty sports.

Tac.

Thus 'tis, fiue houres agoe I set a douzen maides to
attire a boy like a nize Gentlewoman: but there is such doing
with their looking-glasses, pinning, vnpinning, setting, vnseting,
formings and conformings painting blew vaines, and checkes,
such stirre with Stickes and Combes, Cascanets, Dressings,
Purles, Falles, Squares, Buskes, Bodies, Scarffes, Neck laces, Carcanets,
Rebatoes, Borders, Tires, Fannes, Palizadoes, Puffes,
Ruffes, Cuffes, Muffes, Pussles, Fussles, Partsets, Frislets, Bandlets,
Fillets, Croslets, Pendulets, Amulets, Annulets, Bracelets, and so
many lets, that yet shee is scarse drest to the girdle: and now
there's such calling for Fardingales, Kirtlets, Busk-points, shootyes
&c. that seauen Pedlers shops, nay all Sturbridge Faire will
scarse furnish her: a Ship is sooner rigd by farre, then a Gentlewoman
made ready.

Pha.
Tis strange, that women being so mutable,
Will neuer change in changing their apparell?

Com. Sen.
Well let them passe; Tactus we are content,
To know your dignity by relation.

Tac.
The instrument of instruments, the hand,
Courtesies index, Chamberlane to Nature,
The bodies Souldier, and mouthes Caterer,
Psyches great Secretarie, the dumbes eloquence,
The blindmans Candle, and his forheads Buckler,
The minister of wrath, and friendships signe,
This is my instrument: neuerthelesse my power
Extends it selfe, farre as our Queene commands,
Through all the parts and climes of Microcosme.
I am the roote of life, spreading my vertue
By sinewes that extend from head to foote,
To euery liuing part.
For as a suttle Spider closely sitting,
In center of her web that spreddeth round:
If the least Flie but touch the smallest thred,
Shee feeles it instantly; so doth my selfe,
Casting my slender nerue and sundry netts,
Ouer euery particle of all the body,
By proper skill perceaue the difference,
Of seuerall quallities, hot, cold, moist and drie;
Hard, soft, rough, smooth, clammy and slippery.
Sweete pleasure, and sharp paine profitable,
That makes vs wounded seeke for remedy:
By these meanes do I teach the Body flie,
From such bad things as may indanger it:
A wall of brasse can be no more defence,
Vnto a towne then I to Microcosme?
Tell me what sence is not beholding to mee,
The nose is hot or cold, the eies do weepe:
The eares do feele, the tast's a kinde of touching,
That when I please, I can command them all,
And make them tremble when I threaten them:
I am the eldest, and biggest of all the rest,
The chiefest note, and first destinction,
Betwixt a liuing tree and liuing beast;
For though one heare, and see: and smell: and tast
If he wants touch, he is counted but a block?
Therefore my Lord grant me the royalty:
Of whome there is such great necessity.

Com. Sen.

Tactus stand aside; you sirra Anamnestes tell the
Senses we expect their appearance.

Ana.

At your Lordships pleasure?

Exit Anamnestes.

SCEN. 7.

Com. Sen. Pha. Mem. Hev. Ana. Vpon the bench consulting among themselues: Vis. Tact. Gvst. and Olf. euery one with his shield vpon his arme? Lingva and Mendatio with them.
Com. Sen.

Though you deserue no small punishment for

these vp-rores, yet at the request of these my asistants I remit it,
& by the power of Iudgement our gratious soueraigne Psuche
hath geuen mee. Thus I determine of your controuersies: hum?
By your former obiects, instruments and reasons, I conceaue
the state of Sense to bee deuided into two parts, one of commodity,
the other of necessity, both which are either for our
Queene or for our country, but as the Soule is more excellent
then the Body, so are the Senses that proffit the Soule to be estimated
before those that are needefull for the Body; Visus and
Auditus serue your selues, Maister Register giue me the crowne;
because it is better to be well, then simply to be, therfore I iudge
the crowne by right to belong to you of the Commodities part
& the robe to you of the Necessities side; and since you Visus are
the author of inuention, & you Auditus of increase and additiō
to the same, seeing it is more excellent to inuent, then to augment,
I establish you Visus the better of the two, and chiefe of all
the rest, in token whereof, I bestowe vpon you this crowne to
weare at your liberty.

Vis.

I most humbly thanke your Lordships.

Com. Sen.

But least I should seeme to neglect you Auditus,
I heare chuse you to bee the Lords intelligencer to Psuchee her
Maiesty, and you Olfactus, we bestow vpon you the chiefe Preisthood
of Microcosme, perpetually to offer incense in her maiesties
temple. As for you Tactus vpon your reasons aleaged, I bestowe
vpon you the roabs.

Tact.

I accept it most gratefully at your iust hands, and will
weare it in the deare remembrance of your good Lordship.

Com. Sen.

And lastly, Gustus we elect you Psuche her onely
taster, and great purueior for all her dominions, both by sea and
land, in her realme of Microcosme.

Gvs.

We thanke your Lordship, and rest well content with equall
arbitrement.

Com. Sen.

Now for you Lingua.

Lin.

I beseech your honour let me speake, I will neither troble
the company nor offend your patience.

Com. Sen.

I cannot stay so long, wee haue consulted about
you, and finde your cause to stand vpon these tearmes, and conditions.
The number of the Senses in this little world, is answerable

to the first bodies in the great world: now since there
bee but fiue in the Vniuerse, the foure elements and the pure
substance of the heauens, therefore there can bee but fiue
senses in our Microcosme, correspondent to those, as the sight
to the heauens, hearing to the aire, touching to the earth, smelling
to the fire, tasting to the water, by which fiue meanes onely
the vnderstanding is able to apprehend the knowledge of
all Corporeall substances? wherefore wee iudge you to bee no
Sense simply, onely thus much we from hence forth pronounce,
that all women for your sake shall haue six Senses, that is seeing,
hearing, tasting, smelling, touching, and the last and feminine
sense, the sense of speaking.

Gvs.

I beseech your Lordships and your asistants, (the onely
cause of our friendship,) to grace my table with your most
welcome presence this night at supper.

Com. Sen.

I am sorry I cannot stay with you, you know we
may by no meanes omit our daiely attendance at the Court,
therefore I praie you pardon vs.

Gvs.

I hope I shall not haue the deniall at your hands my
Maisters, and you my Ladie Lingua, come let vs drowne all our
anger in a bowle of hippocras.

Exeunt Sensus omnes exteriores.
Com. Sen.

Come Maister Register shall we walke?

Mem.

I pray you stay a little? let mee see? ha, ha, ha, ha
ha,

Pha.

How now Memory so merry? what doe you trouble
your selfe with two palsies at once? shaking, and laughing.

Mem.

Tis a strange thing that men will so confidently oppose
themselues against Platoes great yeare.

Pha.

Why not.

Mem.

Tis as true an opinion as neede be; for I remember it
verie readily now, that this time 49000. yeares agoe all wee
weare in this verie place and your Lordship iudged the verie
same controuersie, after the verie same manner, in all respects,
and cercumstances alike.

Com.

Tis wondrous strange.

Ana.

By the same token you held your Staffe in your

right hand, iust as you do now, and M
r Phantastes stood wondring at you, gaping as wide as you see him.

Ph.

I but I did not giue you a boxe on the eare sirrah 49000.
yeares ago, did I? (snappe)

Ana.

I do not remember that Sir.

Pha.

This time Platoes twelue month to come, looke you
saue your cheekes better.

Com. Sen.

But what intertainment had we at Court for our
long staying?

Mem.

Lets go, Ile tell you as we walke.

Pha.

If I doe not seeme pranker nowe, then I did in those
dayes, Ile be hang'd?

Exeunt omnes interiores Sensus, manet Lingua.

SCENA. 8.

Lingva. Mendatio.
Ling.
Why this is good by common Senses meanes,
Lingua thou hast framed a perfect comœdy
They are all good friends, whom thou mad'st enemies,
And I am halfe a Sense: a sweete peece of seruice,
I promise you a fayre step to preferment.
Was this the care and labour thou hast taken,
To bring thy foes together to a banket,
To loose thy Crowne, and be deluded thus,
Well now I see my cause is desperate,
The iudgements past, sentence irreuocable,
Therefore Ile be content and clap my hands,
And giue a Plaudite to their proceedings:
What shall I leaue my hate begun imperfect?
So fowly vanquisht by the spitefull Senses?
Shall I the Embassadresse of Gods and Men
That puld proud Phœbe from her brightsome spheare
And dark Apollo's countenance with a word
Raysing at pleasure stormes, and winds, and earth-quakes
Be ouercrowed? and breath without reuenge?
Yet they forsooth base slaues must be preferred,
And deck themselues with my right ornaments:
Doth the all-knowing Phœbus see this shame
Without redresse? will not Heauens helpe me?
Then shall Hell do it, my enchanting tongue
Can mount the skies, and in a moment fall,
From the Pole Artick to darke Acheron,
Ile make them know mine anger is not spent,
Lingua hath power to hurt, and will to do it.
Mendatio, come hether quickly sirra.

Men.
Madame.

Ling.
Harke hether in thine eare.

Men.
Why do you whish thus? here's none to heare you.

Ling.

I dare not trust these secrets to the Earth, ere since
she brought forth Reedes, whose babling noise tolde all the
world of Midas Asses eares, (She whispers him in the eare)

Doost vnderstand me?

Men.

I, I, I—neuer feare that—there's a iest indeed—pish,
pish,—Madam—doe you thinke mee so foolish?—tut, tut,
doubt not.

Lin.

Tell her if she doe not.

Men.

Why do you make any question of it—what a stirre
is here—I warrant you—presently?

Exit Mendatio?

Ling.
Well, Ile to supper, and so closely couer,
The rustie cancker of mine Yron spight,
With golden foile of goodly semblances,
But if I do not trounce them—
Exit Lingua.