University of Virginia Library

No language, dear Fanny, can tell you the rout
That in sweet little Williamsburg lately fell out,
Occasioned, good luck! by the wonderful news,
Of a cargo of ribbons, and gauzes, and shoes.
Miss C--- who the first the glad tidings received
Out of breath ran to tell, but was scarcely believed
By Mrs. B--- and sweet Nancy Taylor,
Who skipped topmast high, as alert as a sailor;
Away then they posted to get the first sight
Which put Mrs. Charlton in such a sad fright
She slammed to the door of her shop in their faces.
Madam T--- and Dunbar who were taking a ride
The throng at the door no sooner espied,
Than they called out to Robin to stop, and jumped out,
Like rats from their holes, when they're out to the rout.
The bellman at length was sent all through the town,
To proclaim that tomorrow the sight would be shown,
So the ladies all homeward reluctantly sent,
To wait till the night intervening was spent.
Some resolved to rise early, and some to sit up,
And to keep them awake took a cheerupping cup.
Madam T--- went to bed, but her brain was so warm,
She tumbled and tossed like a ship in a storm.
At midnight at length she got up and was dressed,
Ere her drowsy dull husband had turned in his nest.
The morning star rose, but the horns of day,
Were supposed to have strayed: for you could not well see,
When Robin for once more alert than Apollo,
Cried gee-up to his horses, and bade Ned to follow.
The chariot had scarcely arrived at the gate
When Madame cried out she no longer could wait;
Fan, Betsy, and Polly came clattering downstairs,
Rushed out and jumped into the chariot by pairs.
Away then they drove to the eastward to chide
The dull god of day who was still with his bride
Though some have supposed that he had an intrigue
With good Mrs. Ch---n, and both were in league
To wear out the patience of those at the door.
Till at length Mrs. Charlton and Phoebus once more
Op'ed the gates of the morning and eke of the store.
In rushed all the crowd, but to paint you this scene
Would require the pencil of Hogarth I ween,
One snatched up a shoe, and another its fellow.
“What a sweet pretty ribbon! These colors, how mellow!”
“This muslin's so lovely—This feather's quite killing.”
“Pray look at this fan—Two sweet doves a billing.”
“I shall die if I don't get this hat and this feather.”
“Ma'am, I chose them first.”—“No, Ma'am, not so neither;
I fixed my eyes on them the moment I entered.”
“Ma'am, I got in first or I should not have ventured.”
“See this beautiful doll—such eyes and such hair!
She seems to want only one thing, I declare.”
The sun now was up, and Myrtilla was called,
But the jade seemed the deafer the louder I bawled,
“Pray where is your Mistress, and where are my keys?
Go bring me some water to shave if you please;
And bid them make haste with the breakfast d'ye hear,
I'm half dead with waking all night I declare.”
“Sir, Mistress is gone with the keys in her pocket,
In the drawer lie your razors, I cannot unlock it.
The breakfast is ready, and all on the spot
But the coffee and tea, which Mistress forgot.”
So away to Dunbarton I posted in haste,
Resolved of their breakfast to get a small taste.
When instantly up drove man Robin with Ned:
“Ma'am, Mistress has sent—” “Robin what's that you said?
Get my cloak, and my shawl and my clogs; I protest
I can't eat a morsel.” “Indeed, Ma'am, you'd best.”
“No, no my dear Becky—Come, Molly, let's go.”
Aunt Becky and I were thus left all alone
With the coffee, and tea, and a sweet bacon bone;
And you well may believe that we both took a slice,
Of the butter and bread that were equally nice.

Now Phoebus had finished one-half of his career,
When slowly we saw the old chariot appear
Not the famed Trojan Horse with the Greeks in his belly,
Proceeded more heavily on let me tell ye.
Band-boxes and bundles were stuffed in the front,
You'd have thought that the seat had nobody upon't;
But wedged in one corner, at length I descried
Sweet Madam Dunbar, and Madam t'other side.
The door then bounced open and poor little Poll,
From under the seat crept with Bet and her doll.
The whole were half-smothered and puffing and blowing.
“My dear husband, I'm starved, I'm dead, I'm agoing.
Some breakfast in pity I pray you bestow,
Indeed, I shall faint if you answer me no.
See this hat, and these shoes, and this feather so nice,
And this beautiful fan—What a charming device!
This sweet little doll with her lovely blue eyes,
Is Madam Dunbar's—I declare 'twould surprise
You to hear all the various remarks that were made
By the ladies upon't—from her toes to her head.
Come Aleck, the coffee—ladies, pray take a seat
How charming this coffee! this butter, how sweet!
O that beautiful doll! That hat and that feather!
See there now come Fanny and Molly together.
O there is Mrs. Banister just going home;
She promised to dine here; I hope she won't come.
Let me die if I know what to have for our dinner
Phill, pray look about you and get us some fish,
I protest I don't know what to do for a dish.
Five guineas, my husband, see here is the bill,
Is all I have spent. You must, and you will
I am sure find the money to pay off this score;
'Tis the devil you know to be, and seem poor.”

So you see, my dear Fanny, how things here have passed,
The husband poor soul, pays the piper at last.