University of Virginia Library

TAKES A RETROSPECTIVE VIEW.

Yisterdy I heerd a Abolishnist remark, “The world moves.” The
observashen (wich I hev heerd frequently uv lait) set me into a trane
uv refleckshen. My comperhensive mind sprang back into the misty
daze uv the past, and I wuz a boy agin. Twenty-six yeres ago I
wuz a splittin my symetrikle throte a hollerin fer Van Booren. Them
wuz the pammy daze uv Dimocrisy. Androo Jaxon hed left us his
naim ez cappytal fer us to do biznis on, wile he wuz out uv the way,
and coodent interfere with our steelin, wich wuz comfortable. We
wus beetn, but wuz still strong and viggerous, knowin that we cood
manaje to live doorin Harryson's rane on wat we hed stole doorin Van
Booren's, the fasilites havin bin unlimitid. O them times! Ther
wuz Cass and Davis, and Dickison, and Calhoon, and Tooms, and Bill
Allen, and Duglis, (who wuz jest comin in,) and Ritchy, and Benton,
and Isaer Rynders, and Wise, and Yankee Sullivan, a gelloreous galexy
uv intellectooal and muskeler Dimocrisy, sech ez the world never
seed afore and never will agin. Wuz Abolishnism tolratid in them
happy daze! Not enny. O with what arder Oin Luvjoy wuz shot
at Alton—how wiggerusly the Dimocrisy laberd to throw his press
in2 the turbid waters uv the Missisipi. Wood, o wood that we cood
hev sunk his doctrins with his press. Did we allow Abolishn talk?
Nary. These stalwart arm hev hurled baskit-fuls uv unsavry eggs
at the pedlers uv polittikle heresy, and my skill in eggin Abolishn
lecterers wunst maid we Justis uv the peese in my nativ township.

In the South every hillside wuz dottid with the carcasses uv Noo
Ingland skootmarms, who hevin bin suspected uv teechin niggers to

rede, wuz justly hung, and the plesent crack uv the whip wuz heerd
all over the land. Oh them Arcadian dase, wen it only took 20 minits
to arrest, try, sentence, hang and divide the close uv a Yankee
skoolteecher!

But alas! heresees crep in2 our ranks, and ther wuz confooshun.
Van Booren bolted and bete Cass, and notwithstandin he repentid,
afterward, the Abolishon pizon he interdoost in2 the Dimocratic body
pollytik, remaned. It broke out in ugly sores in Ohio, in 1848, in
the shaip uv the feendish Free sile party. Then Chaise and Brinkerhoof
sluffed orf, and jind with our ainshent enemis. Jest afterward
the Anti-Nebrasky excitement, cuppled with No-Nothinism,
whaled us, and it wuz only by sooperhooman eggsershens that we
electid Bookannon. Sense it hez bin nothin but disaster. Bookannon
and Duglis got by the eers, Duglis refoosed to cave to his suthrin
brethrin, Linkin wuz electid, war ensood, and now wat do these old
ize behold? Cass, and Ben Butler, and Logan, and Dix, and Dickison,
and Dave Tod, strikin hands with Josh Giddins, and Horris
Greely! It is a singeler fact, that every leader we used to trust is
now agin us. And wuss. Abolishn papers is bein publisht in South
Karliny, in Tennisee, Kentucky and Loozeaner, and a millyun uv
men, led by the ghosts and ghostesses uv them hung skoolmasters and
skoolmarms aforesaid, assisted by John Brown's soul, wich is littrally
a marchin on, is enforcin a proclamashen freein all the niggers at wun
stroak, and the Dimocrisy bein sum hundreds uv thowsends in the
minority, is powerless to prevent it.

Trooly, the world moves. It hez moved the Dimocrisy from the
Pedestal uv Power it wunst okepide, and laid it prostrait. It hez
elevatid men we despised, and adoptid idees we scoft at. Yunger
men may shift and git in2 the tide agin, but ez fer me I cant. I shel
maik wun moar effort, and if we fail—why then I shel withdraw from
public life, and start a grosery, and in that umble callin will flote
peecefully down the streem uv time, until my wether beten bark
strikes on the rox of deth, gittin my likker in the menetime, (uv
wich I consume menny,) at wholesail prices.