University of Virginia Library

SCENE II.

CYLINDRUS
entering.
I've marketed most rarely,
And to my mind: I warrant, I serve up
A dainty dinner to the guests.—But hold—
I see Menæchmus. Woe then to my back!
The guests are walking here before the door,
Ere I return from market.—I'll accost them.
Save you, Menæchmus!

Men. Sos.
Save you! Do you know me?

Cyl.
No, to be sure! (ironically)
Where are the other guests?

Men. Sos.
What guests do you mean?

Cyl.
Your Parasite.

Men. Sos.
My Parasite?
Surely the man is mad.

Mess.
Now say, my master,
Did I not tell you there were many cheats here?

Men. Sos.
Whom mean you by my Parasite?

Cyl.
Why, Dishclout.

Mess.
See, see,—I have him safe here in the wallet.

Cyl.
Menæchmus, you are come too soon to dinner:
I am but now return'd from marketing.

Men. Sos.
What is the price, pray, of a hog for sacrifice?

Cyl.
A piece.

Men. Sos.
I'll give it: make a sacrifice
At my expence; for sure you must be mad
To cross a stranger thus, whoe'er you are.

Cyl.
I am Cylindrus: know you not my name?

Men. Sos.
Or Cylinder, or Cullender;—begone:
I know you not, nor do I want to know you.

Cyl.
Your name's Menæchmus, that I know.

Men. Sos.
You talk
As one that's in his senses, calling me
Thus by my name. But where, pray, have you known me?

Cyl.
Where have I known you?—you, who have a wench here,
Erotium, my mistress.

Men. Sos.
I have not,
Nor know I who you are.

Cyl.
Not who I am?
I, who so oft have handed you the cup,
When you carous'd here.

Mess.
O that, I have nothing
To break his head with!

Men. Sos.
How? you've handed me
The cup? when till this day I never came
To Epidamnum, never set my eyes on't.

Cyl.
Will you deny it?

Men. Sos.
Yes, I must deny it.

Cyl.
Don't you live yonder?

Men. Sos.
Plague upon their heads
That live there!

Cyl.
Sure he's mad, to curse himself.
Hark'ye, Menæchmus?

Men. Sos.
What say you?

Cyl.
If you would
Take my advice, that piece you promised me,
Buy a hog with it for yourself to sacrifice:
For sure you are not in your perfect mind,
To curse yourself.

Men. Sos.
Thou'rt mad.—vexatious fellow!

Cyl.
In this wise will he often jest with me:
He's such a wag, he,—when his wife's not by.

Men. Sos.
Prithee now.

Cyl.
Prithee now, is this provision
Sufficient, what you see here, for you three?
Or would you have me to provide yet more,
For you, your parasite and wench?

Men. Sos.
What wench,
What parasite d'ye speak of?

Mess.
Rascal! what
Provokes thee to molest him thus?

Cyl.
What business
Hast thou with me? I know thee not: I'm talking
To him I know.

Mess.
You are not in your senses.

Cyl.
I'll get these ready out of hand: [pointing to the provisions]
then go not
Far from the door. Would you ought further with me?

Men. Sos.
Go hang yourself.

Cyl.
Go you and seat yourself,
While to the violence of Vulcan's rage
I these oppose—I'll in, and let Erotium
Know you are here, that she may fetch you in,
Rather than you should saunter here without doors.

[Cylindrus goes in.]