University of Virginia Library

BREAKING A BANK.

Captain Summons is a very clever fellow—and the
"Dr. Franklin" was a very superb boat, albeit inclined
to rock about a good deal, and nearly turn over on her
side when visited by a breath of air in the least resembling
a gale. Capt. Summons is a clever fellow. All
steamboat captains are clever fellows—or nearly all;
but what I mean to say is, Captain Summons is a particularly
clever fellow!—a clever fellow in the widest
sense of the term—a fellow that is clever in every way—
anxious that his passengers shall be comfortably bestowed,
well fed and well attended to—and determined
that they shall amuse themselves "just as they d—n
please," as the saying is. If he happens to have
preachers on board, he puts on a serious countenance
of a Sunday morning—consents that there shall be
preaching—orders the chairs to be set out, and provides
Bibles and hymn-books for the occasion—himself and

officers, whose watch is below, taking front seats and
listening attentively to the discourse. Likely as not, at
the close of the service, he will ask the reverend gentleman
who has been officiating, with his back in close
proximity to a hot fire in a Franklin furnace, to accompany
him to the bar and join him in some refreshments!
If there are passengers on board who prefer to pass the
time away in playing poker, ucre, brag, or whist, tables
and chairs are ready for them, too—poker, brag, ucre
and whist be it! All sorts of passengers are accommodated
on the Dr. Franklin—the rights of none are suffered
to be infringed;—all are free to follow such
employments as shall please themselves. A dance in
the evening is a very common occurrence on this boat,
and when cotillions are on the carpet, the captain is sure
to be thar.

It sometimes happens that, at the commencement of
a voyage, it is found somewhat difficult to reconcile all
the passengers to the system of Capt. Summons, which
is founded on the broad principle of equal rights to all.
On the occasion of my voyage in the "Doctor," in December,
1844, I found myself surrounded by a crowd
of passengers who were entire strangers to me—a very
rare occurrence to one who travels so often on the western
rivers as I do. I wished my absence from New
Orleans to be as brief as possible, and the "Doctor"
was the fastest boat in port at the time of my leaving the
Crescent City; so I resolved to secure a berth in her,
and trust in luck to find a St. Louis boat at the Mouth.

I don't know how it is, or why it is, but by strangers
I am almost always taken for a Preacher. It was so on
this voyage. There were three Methodist circuit riders

on board; and it happened that we got acquainted, and
were a good deal together—from which circumstance I
was supposed to be one of them; which supposition was
the means of bringing me into an acquaintance with the
lady passengers, who, for the most part, were very pious,
religiously inclined souls. We had preaching every day,
and sometimes at night; and I must say, in justice to
brothers Twitchel and Switchell, that their sermons were
highly edifying and instructive.

In the mean time, a portion of the passengers "at the
other end of the hall" continued to play sundry games
with cards, notwithstanding the remonstrances of the
worthy followers of Wesley, who frequently requested
the captain to interfere and break up such unholy doings.
The captain had but one answer—it was something like
this: "Gentlemen, amuse yourselves as you like; preach
and pray to your hearts' content—none shall interfere
with your pious purposes; some like that sort of thing
—I have no objection to it. These men prefer to amuse
themselves with cards; let them—they pay their passage
as well as you, gentlemen, and have as much right
to their amusements as you have to yours, and they shall
not be disturbed. Preach, play cards, dance cotillions
—do what you like, I am agreeable; only understand
that all games (preaching among the rest) must cease at
ten o'clock." So we preachers got very little comfort
from Captain Summons.

Up—up, up—up we went. Christmas day arrived.
All the other preachers had holden forth on divers occasions,
and it being ascertained that it was my intention
to leave the boat on her arrival at Cairo, a formal
request was preferred, that I should preach the Christmas

sermon! The LADIES (God bless them all!) were very
urgent in their applications to me. "Oh do, brother
Smith! we want to hear you preach! All the others
have contributed their share to our spiritual comfort—
you must oblige us—indeed you must." I endeavoured
to excuse myself the best way I could, alleging the
necessity of my leaving the boat in less than an hour—
my baggage was not ready—I had a terrible cold, and
many other good and substantial reasons were given;
but all in vain—preach I must. "Well," thinks I, "if
I must, I must." At this crisis, casting my eyes down
towards the Social Hall, and seeing an unusual crowd
assembled around a table, I asked one of the brethren
what might be going on down there? The fattest of the
preaching gentlemen replied—"The poor miserable sinners
have filled the measure of their iniquity by opening
a FARO BANK!" "Horrible!" exclaimed I, holding up
my hands—and "horrible!" echoed the ladies and missionaries
in full chorus. "Cannot such doings be put
a stop to?" asked an elderly lady, addressing the pious
travellers. "I fear not," groaned my Methodist contemporary,
(the fat one.) "We have been trying to convince
the captain that some dreadful accident will inevitably
befall the boat, if such proceedings are permitted—
and what do you think he answered?" "What?" we
all asked, of course. "Why, he just said, that, inasmuch
as he permitted us to preach and pray, he should
let other passengers dance and play, if they chose to do
so; and that if I didn't like the `proceedings' I complained
of I might leave the boat! Yes—he did; and,
moreover, he mentioned that it was eleven o'clock, and
asked me if I wouldn't `liquor!' " This announcement
of the captain's stubbornness and impiety was met with
a general groan of pity and sorrow, and we resumed the
conversation respecting the unhallowed faro bank. "It
is much to be regretted," remarked the elderly lady who
had spoken before, "that something can't be done—
Brother Smith," she continued, appealing directly to me,
and laying her forefinger impressively upon my arm,
"cannot you break up that bank?" "Dear Madam,"
I answered, "you know not the difficulty of the task
you impose upon me—FARO BANKS ARE NOT SO EASILY
BROKEN UP as you may imagine; however, as you all
appear so anxious about it, if you'll excuse me from the
sermon, I'll see what can be done." "Ah! that's a
dear soul!"—"I knew he would try"—"He'll be sure
to succeed!"—"Our prayers shall not be wanting!"
Such were the exclamations that greeted me, as I moved
off towards the faro bank. Elbowing my way into the
crowd, I got near the table in front of the dealer, and
was for a time completely concealed from the view of
my pious friends near the door of the ladies cabin. I
found the bank was a small affair. The betters were
risking trifling sums, ranging from six to twenty-five
cents.

"Mr. Dealer," I remarked, "I have come to break
up this bank." "The deuse you have!" replied the
banker—"let's see you do it." "What amount have
you in bank?" I inquired. "Eleven dollars," was his
answer. "What is your limit?" asked I. "A dollar,"
he replied. "Very well," said I, placing a ragged Indiana
dollar behind the queen—"turn on." He turned,
and the king won for me. I took the two dollars up
and let him make another turn, when I replaced the bet,

and the queen came up in my favour; I had now four
dollars, which I placed in the square, taking in the 5, 6,
7, and 8—and it won again! Here were seven dollars
of the banker's money. I pocketed three of them, and
bet four dollars behind the queen again; the Jack won,
and the BANK WAS BROKEN! The crowd dispersed in
all directions, laughing at the breaking up of the petty
bank, and I made my way towards the ladies' cabin,
where my new friends were anxiously awaiting the result
of my bold attempt. "Well, well, well," they all
exclaimed—"What success?—have you done it? Do
let us hear all about it!" I wiped the perspiration from
my brow, and putting on a very serious face, I said
solemnly: "I HAVE BROKEN THAT BANK!" "You
have?" they all exclaimed.—"Yes, I'll be d—d if he
hasn't!" muttered the disappointed gamester, the keeper
of the late bank, who was just going into his state-room.
In the midst of the congratulations which were showered
upon me, I received a summons from the captain to
come forward with my baggage—we were at Cairo.