The three tours of Doctor Syntax In search of 1. The picturesque, 2. Of consolation, 3. Of a wife. The text complete. [By William Combe] With four illustrations |
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 | The three tours of Doctor Syntax |  |
Syntax.—
“Pray tell me, friend, who now succeeds
This Pastor, fam'd for virtuous deeds?”
Sexton.—
“A very worthy, pious man,
Who does us all the good he can;
But he, good Sir, has got a wife;”
Syntax.—
“Who may perhaps disturb his life;
A tongue sometimes engenders strife.”
Sexton.—
“No:—she's a worthy woman too;
But then they've children not a few;
I think it is the will of Heav'n That they are bless'd with six or seven;
And then you will agree with me, That home's the scene of charity.”
Syntax.—
“'Tis true;—nor can your Parson preach
A sounder doctrine than you teach.
And now, good Sexton, let me ask,
While you perform your mortal task,
As day and night you frequent tread The dreary mansions of the dead,
If you, in very truth, can boast, That you have ever seen a ghost?”
Sexton.—
“Your Rev'rence, no; tho' some folks say
That such things have been seen as they.
Old women talk, in idle chat, Of ghosts and goblins, and all that,
While, round the glimm'ring fire at night,
They fill their hearers with affright.
'Tis said that Doctor Worthy walks,
And up and down the church-yard stalks;
That often when the moon shines bright,
His form appears all clad in white:
But to his soul it is not given To walk on earth—for that's in Heaven.
All hours I have cross'd this place, And ne'er beheld a spirit's face.
Once, I remember, late at night, I something saw, both large and white,
Which made me stop, and made me stare,—
But 'twas the Parson's grizzle mare.
Such things as these, I do believe, The foolish people oft deceive;
And then the parish gossips talk How witches dance, and spectres walk.”
Syntax.—
“Your reasoning I much commend;
So fare you well, my honest friend.
If we act right we need not dread Either the living or the dead:
The spirit that disturbs our rest Is a bad conscience in our breast;
With that a man is doubly curst:”
Sexton.—
“That spirit haunted Lawyer Thrust.”
Syntax.—
“His race is run, his work is o'er—
The wicked man can sin no more;
He's gone where justice will be done To all who live beneath the sun:
And though he wronged you when alive,
Let not your vengeance thus survive:
Forgive him, now he's laid so low— Nor trample on a fallen foe.
Once more farewell! But ere we part,
There's something that will cheer your heart.”
Sexton.—
“Your rev'rence, 'twill be some time yet
Ere I forgive;—but to forget—
No, no, for though I may forgive, I can't forget him while I live.
For your good gift, kind Heaven I bless,
And wish you health and happiness:
I thank my God, each coming day, For what he gives and takes away;
And now I thank Him, good and just,
That he has taken Lawyer Thrust.”
“Pray tell me, friend, who now succeeds
This Pastor, fam'd for virtuous deeds?”
Sexton.—
“A very worthy, pious man,
Who does us all the good he can;
But he, good Sir, has got a wife;”
Syntax.—
“Who may perhaps disturb his life;
A tongue sometimes engenders strife.”
Sexton.—
“No:—she's a worthy woman too;
But then they've children not a few;
I think it is the will of Heav'n That they are bless'd with six or seven;
And then you will agree with me, That home's the scene of charity.”
31
“'Tis true;—nor can your Parson preach
A sounder doctrine than you teach.
And now, good Sexton, let me ask,
While you perform your mortal task,
As day and night you frequent tread The dreary mansions of the dead,
If you, in very truth, can boast, That you have ever seen a ghost?”
Sexton.—
“Your Rev'rence, no; tho' some folks say
That such things have been seen as they.
Old women talk, in idle chat, Of ghosts and goblins, and all that,
While, round the glimm'ring fire at night,
They fill their hearers with affright.
'Tis said that Doctor Worthy walks,
And up and down the church-yard stalks;
That often when the moon shines bright,
His form appears all clad in white:
But to his soul it is not given To walk on earth—for that's in Heaven.
All hours I have cross'd this place, And ne'er beheld a spirit's face.
Once, I remember, late at night, I something saw, both large and white,
Which made me stop, and made me stare,—
But 'twas the Parson's grizzle mare.
Such things as these, I do believe, The foolish people oft deceive;
And then the parish gossips talk How witches dance, and spectres walk.”
Syntax.—
“Your reasoning I much commend;
So fare you well, my honest friend.
If we act right we need not dread Either the living or the dead:
The spirit that disturbs our rest Is a bad conscience in our breast;
With that a man is doubly curst:”
Sexton.—
“That spirit haunted Lawyer Thrust.”
Syntax.—
“His race is run, his work is o'er—
The wicked man can sin no more;
He's gone where justice will be done To all who live beneath the sun:
And though he wronged you when alive,
Let not your vengeance thus survive:
Forgive him, now he's laid so low— Nor trample on a fallen foe.
Once more farewell! But ere we part,
There's something that will cheer your heart.”
Sexton.—
“Your rev'rence, 'twill be some time yet
Ere I forgive;—but to forget—
No, no, for though I may forgive, I can't forget him while I live.
For your good gift, kind Heaven I bless,
And wish you health and happiness:
I thank my God, each coming day, For what he gives and takes away;
And now I thank Him, good and just,
That he has taken Lawyer Thrust.”
| The three tours of Doctor Syntax | |