University of Virginia Library

SCENE III.

Enter EROTIUM.
My Menæchmus!
My love! good morrow!

Pen.
Won't you welcome me too?

Erot.
You rank not in the number of my friends.

Pen.
Yet treat me as a supernumerary.

Men. Epi.
We mean to pitch a field with you to-day.

Erot.
Aye, that we will.

Men. Epi.
And prove, with pitcher fill'd,
Which is the mightier warriour at the bowl:
Yourself shall be commander; you shall choose,
Which you will pass the night with.—O my sweet,
When I look on you, how I loath my wife!

Ero.
And yet you cannot chuse, but you must wrap you
In some part of her gear.—Pray what is this?

Men. Epi.
A cast skin of my wife's to be slipt on
By thee, my rose-bud.

Erot.
You've the readiest way
To win preheminence in my affection,
From all that pay me suit.

Pen.
Right harlot this!
An harlot's sure to coax, whene'er she finds
There's any thing to get.—If you had loved him,
You would have bit his nose off by this time
With slobbering.—

Men. Epi.
Take my cloak, Peniculus;
For I must dedicate the spoils I've vow'd.

Pen.
Let's see't.

Men. Epi.
(putting on the robe)
But prithee now, you'll afterwards
Dance in your robe.

Pen.
I dance in't?—

Men. Epi.
You are mad.

Pen.
Are you or I most mad?

Men. Epi.
Well, if you won't,
Then pull it off. I ran a mighty risk
In stealing of this robe: in my mind truly
Young Hercules ran not an equal hazard, when
He spoil'd the bold Hippolita of her girdle.
(giving the robe to Erotium.)
Take it, since you alone of women living
Suit your affection gently unto mine.
True lovers should be thus disposed.

Pen.
Provided
They would run headlong into beggary.

Men. Epi.
'Tis not a year past, since it stood me in
Four minæ for my wife.

Pen.
Four minæ then,
By your account, are plainly gone for ever.

Men. Epi.
Know you what I would have you do?

Erot.
I know;
And will take care according to your wish.

Men. Epi.
Let dinner be provided for us three;
Send to the market for some dainty morsel,
A gammon, some sow's kernels, a hog's cheek,
Or sausages, or something of that kind,
Which, when they're brought to table, may suggest
A kite-like appetite:—about it strait.

Erot.
'I faith I will.

Men. Epi.
We're going to the Forum,
We shall be here directly: while 'tis dressing,
We will amuse us with a whet i'th'interim.

Erot.
Come when you will, dear, all things shall be ready.

Men. Epi.
Quick, follow me.

Pen.
Yes, yes, I'll have an eye to you,
Close at your heels, I warrant; I'll not lose you,
Not for the wealth of all the gods.

[Exeunt Menæchmus and Peniculus.
Erot.
Call forth
The cook Cylindrus, bid him come this instant.