Nuptial Dialogues and Debates Or, An Useful Prospect of the felicities and discomforts of a marry'd life, Incident to all Degrees, from the Throne to the Cottage. Containing, Many great Examples of Love, Piety, Prudence, Justice, and all the excellent Vertues, that largely contribute to the true Happiness of Wedlock. Drawn from the Lives of our own Princes, Nobility, and other Quality, in Prosperity and Adversity. Also the fantastical Humours of all Fops, Coquets, Bullies, Jilts, fond Fools, and Wantons; old Fumblers, barren Ladies, Misers, parsimonious Wives, Ninnies, Sluts and Termagants; drunken Husbands, toaping Gossips, schismatical Precisians, and devout Hypocrites of all sorts. Digested into serious, merry, and satyrical Poems, wherein both Sexes, in all Stations, are reminded of their Duty, and taught how to be happy in a Matrimonial State. In Two Volumes. By the Author of the London Spy [i.e. Edward Ward] |
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| VI. | Dialogue VI. Between a pert Lady and her Spouse, concerning Superiority in Wedlock.
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 | Nuptial Dialogues and Debates |  |
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Dialogue VI. Between a pert Lady and her Spouse, concerning Superiority in Wedlock.
Wife.Sometimes you tell me I am pert and proud,
And that I talk perversly, and too loud;
Contend when 'tis my Duty to submit,
And ridicule your Follies with my Wit.
Husband.
'Tis true, Rosinda, you at publick Feasts
Use my Infirmities as common Jests;
Expose those Failings should be kept unknown,
And make my Faults the Subjects of your own.
Wife.
Wives with their Husbands, surely may be free;
A blushing Bride may take that Liberty,
And pass a harmless Jest, before she knows
What 'tis to bear a Darling to her Spouse.
'Tis true, a Virgin should in Silence sit;
For 'tis a Crime in Maids to show their Wit:
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Always gives License to a female Tongue.
We covet Wedlock with the same Intent
As you contend to serve in Parliament;
Not thro' the Hopes of being made more rich,
But to enjoy the Privilege of Speech.
Like Patriots, Wives should dare to speak their Mind;
What Fool would wed, to have her Tongue confin'd?
Husband.
A Woman's Wit, her Self Conceit exalts,
And serves her chiefly to defend her Faults;
Gives her, on all Accounts, a fair Pretence
To Contradiction, Argument, and Sense;
Curs'd Talents in that head strong Thing, a Wife,
The baneful Seeds of Matrimonial Strife.
For how should Man his sov'reign Pow'r maintain,
If those who should obey, dispute his Reign?
Wife.
Wives, by Experience, know their Husbands would
Be Monarchs, nay, be Tyrants, if they could:
But Women that are wise, their Frowns withstand,
And scorn to truckle to each proud Command.
Some Fools indeed, by patient Mother's taught,
Are to a slavish Sense of Duty brought:
Such Novices, when marry'd, may adore
Imperious Man, and tremble at his Pow'r;
As if the Lordly Churl had Right to claim
A Subject's Homage of his tender Dame;
When all the Rule that he pretends to have
Over weak Woman, whom he deems his Slave,
Is but usurp'd by Conquest, and by Fraud,
O'er our kind Sex, by cruel Usage aw'd;
Who still at Night, defeat your Force of Arms,
And make you buckle to our pow'rful Charms.
Be Monarchs, nay, be Tyrants, if they could:
But Women that are wise, their Frowns withstand,
And scorn to truckle to each proud Command.
Some Fools indeed, by patient Mother's taught,
Are to a slavish Sense of Duty brought:
Such Novices, when marry'd, may adore
Imperious Man, and tremble at his Pow'r;
As if the Lordly Churl had Right to claim
A Subject's Homage of his tender Dame;
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Over weak Woman, whom he deems his Slave,
Is but usurp'd by Conquest, and by Fraud,
O'er our kind Sex, by cruel Usage aw'd;
Who still at Night, defeat your Force of Arms,
And make you buckle to our pow'rful Charms.
Therefore, at most, you govern but by Day,
At Night we make our mighty Lords obey:
The Monarch then by Woman is betray'd
To wave his Scepter, and is gladly made
An humble Slave to Beauty's Throne, the Bed.
At Night we make our mighty Lords obey:
The Monarch then by Woman is betray'd
To wave his Scepter, and is gladly made
An humble Slave to Beauty's Throne, the Bed.
Husband.
Husbands, like Princes, tho' they bear Command,
Scorn to chastise with too severe a Hand:
Yet, if a King does too indulgent prove,
And makes his Subjects happy in his Love,
Th'ingrateful People will be apt, like you,
To deem his Royal Clemencies their due;
And that his Acts of Bounty are no more
Than fawning Signs of his defective Pow'r.
So that his Favours lessen their Esteem,
And make his proud rebellious Subjects dream,
That he derives his Diadem from them.
Scorn to chastise with too severe a Hand:
Yet, if a King does too indulgent prove,
And makes his Subjects happy in his Love,
Th'ingrateful People will be apt, like you,
To deem his Royal Clemencies their due;
And that his Acts of Bounty are no more
Than fawning Signs of his defective Pow'r.
So that his Favours lessen their Esteem,
And make his proud rebellious Subjects dream,
That he derives his Diadem from them.
So, fair Rosinda, when you Ladies find,
Your Husbands gen'rous, lenitive, and kind,
You then despise the Domination given
To Man, superior by the Laws of Heaven;
Turn Rebels, our Supremacy deride
And think us servile to your Lust and Pride.
Your Husbands gen'rous, lenitive, and kind,
You then despise the Domination given
To Man, superior by the Laws of Heaven;
Turn Rebels, our Supremacy deride
And think us servile to your Lust and Pride.
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Thus Over-kindness makes you run astray,
The more we love, the more you disobey.
The more we love, the more you disobey.
So head-strong Subjects, who no Duty know,
If once indulg'd, the greater Rebels grow.
If once indulg'd, the greater Rebels grow.
Wife.
But Man has no Dominion o'er his Bride,
More than what's founded on his churlish Pride.
The Wife's his Partner, and has Right to share
His greatest Fortunes, well as meanest Fare.
Equal in Pow'r the Woman ought to be;
Both are by Marriage plac'd in one Degree:
Both the same Flesh, when made each other's Mate;
And both united in the self same State.
Man has no Title to the upper Hand;
Either may ask, but neither should command;
Nor can a Wife, by Disobedience, prove
A Rebel, tho' she falsifies her Love:
For since our Husbands have no Right to sway,
It is no Crime in Wives to disobey.
Husband.
What Hopes has he of a contented Life,
That hears such precious Doctrine from a Wife?
'Tis hard, since Woman does her Wit abuse,
She should be curs'd with more than she can use.
Sure the vile Serpent's Poyson still takes place,
And from old Eve, descends to all her Race;
For the same Subtilty that first prevail'd,
Is to this Day upon her Sex intail'd.
That hears such precious Doctrine from a Wife?
'Tis hard, since Woman does her Wit abuse,
She should be curs'd with more than she can use.
Sure the vile Serpent's Poyson still takes place,
And from old Eve, descends to all her Race;
For the same Subtilty that first prevail'd,
Is to this Day upon her Sex intail'd.
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But, Madam, you mistake; Man has a Right
To rule, and 'tis your Duty to submit.
Adam was made superior to his Bride;
Lord o'er his Eve, and all the World beside.
Woman's Desire shall to her Husband be,
And he shall bear Dominion over thee,
Was the first great Decree that Heaven made,
After the happy Pair had disobey'd;
Therefore you're doom'd into a subject State,
By the Almighty Oracle of Fate;
Which ev'ry Woman in the sacred Vow
Of Wedlock, must acknowledge and allow,
E'er the fair Bride can lawfully be wed,
T'enjoy the Pleasures of the nuptial Bed.
Did not your self, in solemn Manner, say,
And promise to love, honour, and obey?
Therefore no mortal Pow'r can set you free
From that Obedience due to Heav'n and me.
Thus God's Decrees, and human Laws accord,
To make you subject, and my self your Lord.
To rule, and 'tis your Duty to submit.
Adam was made superior to his Bride;
Lord o'er his Eve, and all the World beside.
Woman's Desire shall to her Husband be,
And he shall bear Dominion over thee,
Was the first great Decree that Heaven made,
After the happy Pair had disobey'd;
Therefore you're doom'd into a subject State,
By the Almighty Oracle of Fate;
Which ev'ry Woman in the sacred Vow
Of Wedlock, must acknowledge and allow,
E'er the fair Bride can lawfully be wed,
T'enjoy the Pleasures of the nuptial Bed.
Did not your self, in solemn Manner, say,
And promise to love, honour, and obey?
Therefore no mortal Pow'r can set you free
From that Obedience due to Heav'n and me.
Thus God's Decrees, and human Laws accord,
To make you subject, and my self your Lord.
Wife.
If Man has such a lawful Right to rule,
Suppose the Wife be wise, her Spouse a Fool;
Who then must manage and support the Weight
Of those Affairs that tease a marry'd State?
Or who the matrimonial Crown sustain,
The prudent Woman, or imprudent Man?
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If the fair Dame proves wiser of the two,
Bless'd with more Gifts than are a Woman's due;
And that her Husband stoops beneath the Fate
Of being careless and effeminate;
She then may take the Freedom to advise
Within her Sphere, but not to tyrannize:
For if she turns her Counsel to Command,
Sh' unjustly then usurps the upper Hand;
Gives Cause sufficient for intestine Jars,
And raises, by her Pride, Domestick Wars:
For tho' a Woman may abound in Wit,
Man should not be so foolish to submit;
But in a marry'd State should still defend
That Pow'r, for which our Wives so oft contend.
Bless'd with more Gifts than are a Woman's due;
And that her Husband stoops beneath the Fate
Of being careless and effeminate;
She then may take the Freedom to advise
Within her Sphere, but not to tyrannize:
For if she turns her Counsel to Command,
Sh' unjustly then usurps the upper Hand;
Gives Cause sufficient for intestine Jars,
And raises, by her Pride, Domestick Wars:
For tho' a Woman may abound in Wit,
Man should not be so foolish to submit;
But in a marry'd State should still defend
That Pow'r, for which our Wives so oft contend.
What if a Wife has Sense enough to steer
Without a Guide, she must not domineer,
But let her Spouse the Reputation share,
That's due to ev'ry well-contriv'd Affair:
As Statesmen, who advise at Council Board,
Still give the Honour to their sov'reign Lord;
Who, if imprudent, yet they ne'er exclaim,
But hide his Faults, and magnify his Fame.
Without a Guide, she must not domineer,
But let her Spouse the Reputation share,
That's due to ev'ry well-contriv'd Affair:
As Statesmen, who advise at Council Board,
Still give the Honour to their sov'reign Lord;
Who, if imprudent, yet they ne'er exclaim,
But hide his Faults, and magnify his Fame.
So may a Woman, if her Mate's less wise,
Direct, behind the Curtain, and advise;
But still the Honour, tho' the Man's a Fool,
Should be ascrib'd to him, wh'as Right to rule.
Direct, behind the Curtain, and advise;
But still the Honour, tho' the Man's a Fool,
Should be ascrib'd to him, wh'as Right to rule.
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If Woman does the Weight of Bus'ness bear,
'Tis hard the Husband should the Honour wear!
Or if the Wife superior Wit can boast,
It seems unjust she should not rule the Roast!
But still, perhaps, be hector'd like a Slave
By a dull Coxcomb, or imperious Knave.
Husband.
Slav'ry's a modern, canting Term, in Vogue
With stubborn Wives, and each rebellious R---ue,
Who, hating to submit, would bear the sway
O'er those just Pow'rs they should by Law obey.
Th'Apprentice bound for seven Years to serve,
That the dull Fool may neither hang or starve;
The Woman ty'd in Marriage-Bonds for Life,
To be a faithful and obedient Wife;
The Subject fetter'd to his Prince's Cause
By sacred Oaths, Religion, and the Laws;
All hate the Yoke, desiring to be free,
And stile their lawful Duty, Slavery;
Forgetting still the Safety and the Good
Th'enjoy in such an easy Servitude.
With stubborn Wives, and each rebellious R---ue,
Who, hating to submit, would bear the sway
O'er those just Pow'rs they should by Law obey.
Th'Apprentice bound for seven Years to serve,
That the dull Fool may neither hang or starve;
The Woman ty'd in Marriage-Bonds for Life,
To be a faithful and obedient Wife;
The Subject fetter'd to his Prince's Cause
By sacred Oaths, Religion, and the Laws;
All hate the Yoke, desiring to be free,
And stile their lawful Duty, Slavery;
Forgetting still the Safety and the Good
Th'enjoy in such an easy Servitude.
Therefore, what most call Slav'ry, 's but a State
Which Libertines and Rebels only hate,
Thro' wild Desires arising from no more
Than stubborn Ign'rance, or Lust of Pow'r,
That their stiff Necks, to gratify their Pride,
May o'er their wiser Governors preside;
And so reverse both God and Nature's Rules,
That the mad World, in spite of Laws and Schools,
May bow their Heads to Women, and to Fools.
Which Libertines and Rebels only hate,
Thro' wild Desires arising from no more
Than stubborn Ign'rance, or Lust of Pow'r,
That their stiff Necks, to gratify their Pride,
May o'er their wiser Governors preside;
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That the mad World, in spite of Laws and Schools,
May bow their Heads to Women, and to Fools.
| Nuptial Dialogues and Debates | |