University of Virginia Library

AT HOME.

A man who duz things frum prinsipple kin stand a good deal. I
kin. Sustaned and soothed by an unfaltrin trust in the rychusnis uv
the Suthrin coz, I stuck to my beluvd rejyment, the Loozeaner Pelikins,
with a tenassity wich I did not dreme I possest. But ther is a
pint beyond wich human nacher can not go. I endoord hunger and
cold—I saw the rags drop off my muskeler limbs wun by wun—I
murmered not. But, wen the pataloons wuz awl gone—wen my costoom

wus a blanket and wun shoe—I applide fer new pants, and the
Quartermaster onfeelinly remarkt that my dress wuz all rite; that
hereafter my costoom wuz to be adoptid ez the uniform uv the rejyment—I
felt that desershun wuz no longer a crime, and I deserted.
It is entirely onnessary to rekount awl I endoored in makin my
eskaip. Suffice it to say that at Columbus I stript the klose off uv
an innebryatid solger, and maid my way to Amanda township. My
old Demokratic friends did not kno me, and ez I expected to borry
money uv them I deemed it best not to make myself knone.

They were suspishus uv my bloo kote, at fust, until wun uv them
remarkt how I likd the serviss?

To wich I anserd, “Dam the serviss!

“Don't admire fitin fer the nigger, eh?”

“Not any,” sez I.

“Why not desert?” sez he.

“I hev deserted,” sez I.

In a instant the aspeck uv things wuz changd. A jug wuz prodoost,
and they awl shook hands. Wun, more richer nor the rest,
handed me a treasury note uv $10, sayin, “You may need it.”

I replide that, as a general thing I wood hev nothin to do with any
paper that bore the babboon likeness uv the usurper and tyrent Linkin,
but under the sirkumstances I wood endoor it until I cood get
it changd into Injeany munny. They took up a kollekshun to wunst,
fer my benefit, wich amounted to $43.

Jest at this pint wun uv em asked me to what rejyment I belonged.

I replide the Loozeaner Pelikins.

“Loozeaner!” sed another, “why that's a Confedracy rejyment
aint it?”

“To be sure,” sez I.

“And air yoo a deserter frum a Suthrin rejyment,” sez the benevelent
old butternut who hed invested $10, in the deserter biznis.

“Sartin,” sez I.

Scezin me by the throte, he ejackelated, “Give me my money you
swindler!” And with a unanimity trooly surprisin they awl yelled,
“Give me my money you swindler—you got it under false pretences.”

Hevin the munny safe in my pokkit, I took these compliments with
ekanimity, sidlin out and gettin away ez soon ez possible.

I am disappointed in Amandy. Frum wat I had heard I hed supposed
they were kind to deserters. I found that it makes much differense
wich side you desert from.