University of Virginia Library

ANCE VEASY'S FIGHT WITH REUB.
SESSIONS.

"Are you in favour of Biennial Sessions of the legislature?"
asked a manager of an election in Alabama, of
a voter.

"Who?" says the voter, whose name was Ance Veasy,
and withal, tolerably green.

"Are you in favour of Biennial Sessions of the legislature,
Sir?"

"Benial Sessions! I don't know him. Is he any
kin to Reub. Sessions? Sir; ef he is I'll bed—d ef you
ketch me a votin fur him! You never hearn me tell about
that fite I had long wid Reub. Sessions, up in Shelby,
did you?"

"Never mind your fights, now, Mr. Veasy: answer
yea or nay."

"I dosen't know what you mean by your ya and na's,
but I'll be dod rotted ef I vote fur enny uv the Sessions
family, no how you can fix it! Bah! Benial Sessions,
indeed! jest as much fit fur Guvnur as h-ll is fur a ice-house!"

"Are you in favour of the removal of the State House,
Mr. Veasy?"

"Well I wonder ef tha is 'gwine too move the State
House agin? Why tha moved it only two or three years
ago to Wetumpka. I don't see no use of thar movin it
enny more—I think it's in a very good place myself, I
does them, punkins!"

"You are thinking of the Penitentiary, Mr. Veasy.
It's the State House they wish to move!"

"Well, it taint nothin too me whether tha move it or
not, so I won't vote for it, nor Benial Sessions nuther!"

Several now pressed around Ance to get him to tell
about his fight with Reub. Sessions, up in Shelby. He
said he would come to these terms. They were to give
him a good drink of whisky, and he was to give them
the story. They agreed to it, and gave him the whisky,
and he commenced.

"You see a passel uv us fellers made up a camp-hunt
betwixt us, and Reub., he went with us, but he never
tuck no gun, kase he was so infurnal lazy that he woodn't
even take a stand and watch fur deer. He jest went
along to eat wenzon and to help the fellers cook. Well,
the fust evenin we were out, we killed a mitey fine tow
hed deer, and we fotch him in an cooked wun quarter
fur supper. Reub. ett 'bout half uv that quarter; and
arter we went sleep, and 'bout midnite I got awake and
razed up, and thar wuz Reub. eatin away like he was
paid fur it. I never sed nuthin, but laid down and went
too sleep: an 'bout daylite I waked up and begun too
get reddy too go out and kill sum game, and I'll be dod
durned ef Reub. wuzn't eatin away still, or ruther, pickin
the bones, fur he had ett up all the hole deer an wuz

[ILLUSTRATION]

"We fit round and round about the barrels and boxes 'bout half an hour."

pickin the bones. Git up, you holler-legged, pot-gutted,
turkey-buzzard, sez I, and make tracks fur home jest as
fast as you kin poot wun leg afore the tuther! and I tuck
the feller side uv the hed with my fist and sorter turned
him over; but he got up pooty soon and done sum uv
the tallest kind uv walking fur home.

"About two or three weeks after the hunt that we
wuz all at Simmon's grocery, on the Montevallo road, an
I wuz tellin the fellars 'bout Reub.'s eatin a hole tow
deer an nawin the bones besides, an the feller got rite
ashy 'bout it, but I didn't mind him nor never paid no
'tention to him, till he bucked up too me an give me a
feller rite under the ear, an I tell ye it made my hed
kinder dizzy. When he gin me the fust lick it made me
sorter mad, but I woodn't a minded ef he hadn't kept
pilin on the agony 'bout my ears and smeller. When
I did git my Norf Carliner up, the way I pitched it in
too him was a caution to mules. We fit round and round
about the barrels an boxes 'bout half an hour, when I got
his hed under my arm an I made him squeal immediantly,
but I wuzn't gwine too let him off without givin him
sumthin too 'member Ance Veasy by, an I tell you fellers,
I natally peeled the skin off his face an then I turned him
loose. He tuck up his hat, an when I sorter turned my
back too him, he picked up an ole axe helve an gin me
a wipe aside the hed that laid me cole fur a while I tell
you. But I picked myself up an started sorter arter him,
but he wuz on his hoss an fast banishing out uv site over
the hill.

"The sheriff cum an tuck me up an tried me for trying
to kill, but tha found me requitted, an let me loose, coz
I gin myself up. But Reub., he run away, kase he thort

how he had killed me, an he stayed away two or three
months; but wen he heerd as how I wuzn't ded, he cum
back an the sheriff nabbed him an carried him too the
Cort-house, an tride him fur salt and batter an murder
with intent too kill. Tha found him requitted of murder,
but tha found him gilty uv salt an batter. I didn't see
enny salt in the fite, but thar wuz sum batterin done,
but I done all the batterin myself, except wot he done
with the axe helve. I don't think the feller wot tride
him done fair by him, kase tha kused him uv 'tackin me
with pistols an knives, but thar wuzn't narry pistol nor
knife on the ground at the time. Enny how the Judge
says he,

" `Mr. Sessions, the jury has found you gilty uv salt
an batter, an you must go too jail fur wun munth an pay
twenty-five dollars besides.'

" `I don't keer ef you make it two munths, by —!'
says Reub.

" `Fine him ten dollars, Mr.Sheriff, fur swarin in Cort.'

" `I don't keer ef you make it twenty dollars, by —!'
says Reub.

" `Fine him twenty dollars and three munths imprisonment,
Mr. Sheriff,' says the Judge.

"That made Reub. stap cussin in the Cort-House, I
tell you, an the Sheriff tuck him off too jail and locked
him up, an he had too stay thar four munths by himself.

"I had a fite wunst over on the Cahawba river, with
a Tennesee wagoner's dog—did you ever hear me tell
'bout it? but never mind now, fellers, I'm gitten mity
dry, an I have too wate until I git a nuther horn, an I
don't keer who pays fur it, I don't."