Scripscrapologia or, Collins's Doggerel Dish Of All Sorts. Consisting of Songs Adapted to familiar Tunes, And which may be sung without the Chaunterpipe of an Italian Warbler, or the ravishing Accompaniments of Tweedle-Dum or Tweedle-Dee. Particularly those which have been most applauded in the author's once popular performance, call'd, The Brush. The Gallimaufry garnished with a variety of comic tales, quaint epigrams, whimsical epitaphs, &c. &c. [by John Collins] |
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THE QUID PRO QUO. |
 | Scripscrapologia |  |
THE QUID PRO QUO.
At Lancaster once, for the Rhyme's Sake, Lan-Caster,
The Postman was rais'd to the Post of Post-master;
When an old Paper-maker, of Envy brim-full,
Though as empty as Air was his own Paper Scull,
To the Post-house in Haste went, a Bower and Scraper,
Requesting to furnish the Office with Paper.
“For your Worship,” says he, “now you're got a great Man,
“Should employ all your Neighbours as much as you can;
“By which you'll prevent them to scoff and to flout,
“Because, t'other Day, you took Letters about;
“And you need not be fearful of any one's Mocks,
“That clubb'd Half a Crown for your last Christmas Box.
“So now, as I'm one that's resolv'd to defend you,
“You'll order what Sort and what Size I shall send you:
“As, for Choice, I've such Plenty, you need never scant,
“Thof Post, Pot, and Fool's Cap is all you can want.”
The Postman was rais'd to the Post of Post-master;
When an old Paper-maker, of Envy brim-full,
Though as empty as Air was his own Paper Scull,
To the Post-house in Haste went, a Bower and Scraper,
Requesting to furnish the Office with Paper.
“For your Worship,” says he, “now you're got a great Man,
“Should employ all your Neighbours as much as you can;
“By which you'll prevent them to scoff and to flout,
“Because, t'other Day, you took Letters about;
“And you need not be fearful of any one's Mocks,
“That clubb'd Half a Crown for your last Christmas Box.
“So now, as I'm one that's resolv'd to defend you,
“You'll order what Sort and what Size I shall send you:
“As, for Choice, I've such Plenty, you need never scant,
“Thof Post, Pot, and Fool's Cap is all you can want.”
“Thanks, my very good Friend,” said the Postmaster, smiling,
“But I stand in no Dread of a Blockhead's Reviling,;
“Men of Merit and Sense, when they see Merit rise,
“Behold its Promotion with unjaundic'd Eyes;
“So,—for Post, as I'm pleas'd with the Post I have got,
“Why, you see there's no Chance of my “Going to Pot,
“And the Fool's Cap, of course, must remain your own Lot.”
“But I stand in no Dread of a Blockhead's Reviling,;
“Men of Merit and Sense, when they see Merit rise,
“Behold its Promotion with unjaundic'd Eyes;
“So,—for Post, as I'm pleas'd with the Post I have got,
“Why, you see there's no Chance of my “Going to Pot,
“And the Fool's Cap, of course, must remain your own Lot.”
| Scripscrapologia | |