Scripscrapologia or, Collins's Doggerel Dish Of All Sorts. Consisting of Songs Adapted to familiar Tunes, And which may be sung without the Chaunterpipe of an Italian Warbler, or the ravishing Accompaniments of Tweedle-Dum or Tweedle-Dee. Particularly those which have been most applauded in the author's once popular performance, call'd, The Brush. The Gallimaufry garnished with a variety of comic tales, quaint epigrams, whimsical epitaphs, &c. &c. [by John Collins] |
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A SHARP MADE A FLAT BY A LIMB OF THE LAW.
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 | Scripscrapologia |  |
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A SHARP MADE A FLAT BY A LIMB OF THE LAW.
Anecdote, in the Style of the New Bath Guide.
At a once famous Inn, where, detection to shun,
Up two pair of stairs was thought safer than one;
The Sabbath for play being fix'd and decreed;
As, the better the day, still the better the deed;
An old peery Sharper, deep vers'd in the game,
But whose fingers, with gout, were enfeebled and lame,
In slipping and palming, dexterity lacking,
Was nick'd, and soon out of the window sent packing.
Up two pair of stairs was thought safer than one;
The Sabbath for play being fix'd and decreed;
As, the better the day, still the better the deed;
An old peery Sharper, deep vers'd in the game,
But whose fingers, with gout, were enfeebled and lame,
In slipping and palming, dexterity lacking,
Was nick'd, and soon out of the window sent packing.
A fall from two stories, you'll own, was a sad one,
Yet was not his case, on the whole, such a bad one;
A few bumps and bruises his whole penance proving,
Nor follow'd one fracture, to make the tale moving.
Yet was not his case, on the whole, such a bad one;
A few bumps and bruises his whole penance proving,
Nor follow'd one fracture, to make the tale moving.
So gath'ring his limbs up, and limping along,
Not thinking it right to put up with such wrong;
To a Limb of the Law he repair'd in a Trice,
Put a fee in his hand, and demanded advice;—
Saying, “Sir, I've been wantonly pitch'd, you must know,
“From the attic above, to the pavement below;
“And a miracle 'tis, from the fall, let me tell ye,
“That all my poor bones are not bruis'd to a jelly!”
Not thinking it right to put up with such wrong;
To a Limb of the Law he repair'd in a Trice,
Put a fee in his hand, and demanded advice;—
Saying, “Sir, I've been wantonly pitch'd, you must know,
“From the attic above, to the pavement below;
“And a miracle 'tis, from the fall, let me tell ye,
“That all my poor bones are not bruis'd to a jelly!”
Says the Lawyer, “What motive for treatment so hard?”
“Dear Sir, all my crime was, but—Slipping a Card.”
“Indeed! For how much did you play then, and where?”
“For two hundred, up two pair of stairs, at the Bear.”
“Dear Sir, all my crime was, but—Slipping a Card.”
“Indeed! For how much did you play then, and where?”
“For two hundred, up two pair of stairs, at the Bear.”
“Why then, my good friend, as you want my advice,
“To'ther guinea advanc'd, it is your's in a trice.”
“Here it is, my dear Sir,”—“Very well, now, observe,
“Future downfalls to shun, from this rule never swerve,
“When challeng'd up Stairs, Luck for Hundreds to try,
“Tell your frolicsome friends, that, you don't play so High!”
“To'ther guinea advanc'd, it is your's in a trice.”
“Here it is, my dear Sir,”—“Very well, now, observe,
“Future downfalls to shun, from this rule never swerve,
“When challeng'd up Stairs, Luck for Hundreds to try,
“Tell your frolicsome friends, that, you don't play so High!”
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