Scripscrapologia or, Collins's Doggerel Dish Of All Sorts. Consisting of Songs Adapted to familiar Tunes, And which may be sung without the Chaunterpipe of an Italian Warbler, or the ravishing Accompaniments of Tweedle-Dum or Tweedle-Dee. Particularly those which have been most applauded in the author's once popular performance, call'd, The Brush. The Gallimaufry garnished with a variety of comic tales, quaint epigrams, whimsical epitaphs, &c. &c. [by John Collins] |
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MIRABILE DICTU!
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 | Scripscrapologia |  |
MIRABILE DICTU!
TRUTH TOLD BY A FRENCHMAN! A SONG.
I am von French Refugee,
Vich dey here call Emigrant,
And tis vera good Ting for me,
Dat I leave de grande Nation;
(Pron. Nass-sciong.)
For, to keep my Head upon my Shoulders,
Is de Ting I vant,
As to mount de Guillotine,
I confess I've no Passion,
(Pron. Pass-sciong,)
Dough I've travell'd great long Vay,
Pon de Land and pon de Sea,
Vid my Contremen to plant aronde,
De Tree of Liberte!
As de Fortune of de Var
Is de French Divertisement,
(Pron. Divertisemong.)
And tis vera true, bay Gar,
So belief may leetel Song!
Vich dey here call Emigrant,
And tis vera good Ting for me,
Dat I leave de grande Nation;
(Pron. Nass-sciong.)
For, to keep my Head upon my Shoulders,
Is de Ting I vant,
As to mount de Guillotine,
I confess I've no Passion,
(Pron. Pass-sciong,)
173
Pon de Land and pon de Sea,
Vid my Contremen to plant aronde,
De Tree of Liberte!
As de Fortune of de Var
Is de French Divertisement,
(Pron. Divertisemong.)
And tis vera true, bay Gar,
So belief may leetel Song!
First Ve go to Vork in Flanders,
Like de Cats to catch to de Mice,
And Ve bait the Trap vid Freedom,
To make de People bite,
Den Ve strip them almost bare,
Like de Folks in Paradise,
And now dey're all made Sans Culottes,
Dey say, bay Gar, vats right,
“For your Tree Ve all go naked,
“Young and Old and Fat and Lean,
“And it vont produce a Fig Leaf,
“To hide, vat should not be seen,
“Vile de Fortune of de Var is de French Divertisemong.”
And tis vera true, bay Gar, so belief my leetel Song.
Like de Cats to catch to de Mice,
And Ve bait the Trap vid Freedom,
To make de People bite,
Den Ve strip them almost bare,
Like de Folks in Paradise,
And now dey're all made Sans Culottes,
Dey say, bay Gar, vats right,
“For your Tree Ve all go naked,
“Young and Old and Fat and Lean,
“And it vont produce a Fig Leaf,
“To hide, vat should not be seen,
“Vile de Fortune of de Var is de French Divertisemong.”
And tis vera true, bay Gar, so belief my leetel Song.
Den to Holland Ve advance,
Vich dey call de Land of Buttere,
Vere de Dutchmen all so fat,
Only vant for to be stuck,
And vere Donder Blood and Blixten!
Soon Mynheer began to sputtere,
Ven he found de Tree of Liberte,
Vas bring him no good Luck!
For says he, “You melt our Buttere,
“And you eat up all our Bread,
“And den, ven you have suckt our Brains,
“You'll knock us in de Head!”
Vile de Fortune of de Var is de French Divertisemong,
And tis vera true, bay Gar, so belief my leetel Song.
Vich dey call de Land of Buttere,
Vere de Dutchmen all so fat,
Only vant for to be stuck,
And vere Donder Blood and Blixten!
Soon Mynheer began to sputtere,
Ven he found de Tree of Liberte,
Vas bring him no good Luck!
174
“And you eat up all our Bread,
“And den, ven you have suckt our Brains,
“You'll knock us in de Head!”
Vile de Fortune of de Var is de French Divertisemong,
And tis vera true, bay Gar, so belief my leetel Song.
Den vid Spain Ve make de Peace,
Vid de grande Fraternelle Hug,
But Ve squeeze de Don so close,
Dat he gromble in de Guts,
Vile Italiens, tout ensemble,
In our Jaws Ve get so snug,
Ve can crack dem ven Ve please,
As de Monkey crack de Nuts;
Den Ve tumble down de Pope,
And de Swiss, to crown de Frolick,
Ve drench vid Gall and Vinegar,
Vich give dem all de Colic!
Vile de Fortune of de Var is de French Divertisemong,
And tis vera true, bay Gar, so belief my leetel Song.
Vid de grande Fraternelle Hug,
But Ve squeeze de Don so close,
Dat he gromble in de Guts,
Vile Italiens, tout ensemble,
In our Jaws Ve get so snug,
Ve can crack dem ven Ve please,
As de Monkey crack de Nuts;
Den Ve tumble down de Pope,
And de Swiss, to crown de Frolick,
Ve drench vid Gall and Vinegar,
Vich give dem all de Colic!
Vile de Fortune of de Var is de French Divertisemong,
And tis vera true, bay Gar, so belief my leetel Song.
Den to Egypt ve set Sail,
En Voyage Two Tousand League,
To plant de Tree of Freedom
On the Borders of the Nile;
But dey swear, in ev'ry Branch,
Dere is twice Ten Tousand Plague,
Dough ve veep and call dem Broders,
Alamode de Crocodile!
While Nelsong on de Vater,
Play von Trick not vera civil,
And, by Land, Sir Sydney,—Vat you call him?
Smit,—he play de Devil!
By de Fortune of de Var, for his own Divertisemong,
And tis vera true, bay Gar, so belief my leetel Song.
En Voyage Two Tousand League,
To plant de Tree of Freedom
On the Borders of the Nile;
But dey swear, in ev'ry Branch,
Dere is twice Ten Tousand Plague,
Dough ve veep and call dem Broders,
Alamode de Crocodile!
While Nelsong on de Vater,
Play von Trick not vera civil,
And, by Land, Sir Sydney,—Vat you call him?
Smit,—he play de Devil!
By de Fortune of de Var, for his own Divertisemong,
And tis vera true, bay Gar, so belief my leetel Song.
175
John Bull he love de Roast a Beef,
Mais toujours sweet and fresh,
But he say “Ve stew de Mouton
“Ven de Sheep die of de Rot,”
And he crack his Jokes so comical,
About de Bone and Flesh,
For he say, bay Gar, “de Black Sheep's Neck,
“At last, vill go to Pot;”
And, “As he know de French
“Love de Soup vid all deir Heart,
“Dey'll not vant Scrag of Mouton,
“Vile dey've got de Bony Part;
“And ven dey scrag de Bony Part,
“Dey all have lov'd so long,
“Twill be Alamode de France, like the Rest of all my Song!”
Mais toujours sweet and fresh,
But he say “Ve stew de Mouton
“Ven de Sheep die of de Rot,”
And he crack his Jokes so comical,
About de Bone and Flesh,
For he say, bay Gar, “de Black Sheep's Neck,
“At last, vill go to Pot;”
And, “As he know de French
“Love de Soup vid all deir Heart,
“Dey'll not vant Scrag of Mouton,
“Vile dey've got de Bony Part;
“And ven dey scrag de Bony Part,
“Dey all have lov'd so long,
“Twill be Alamode de France, like the Rest of all my Song!”
But as for all de French can do,
John Bull he only laugh,
And deir Fee Faw Fum Invasions
He make his Mock and Joke,
For he say, bay Gar, dat Bony Part,
Is von great Sheep or Calf,
To tink de Necks of Englishmen
Vill stoop to vear his Yoke.
But to England if he come,
Vich so much he make his Brag,
Dey swear upon his great long Neck
Dey'll only leave de Scrag;
For dey'll have his Head, bay Gar,
If his Head was twice as long,
Cause he just renew de Var
For his own Divertisemong!
John Bull he only laugh,
And deir Fee Faw Fum Invasions
He make his Mock and Joke,
For he say, bay Gar, dat Bony Part,
Is von great Sheep or Calf,
To tink de Necks of Englishmen
Vill stoop to vear his Yoke.
But to England if he come,
Vich so much he make his Brag,
Dey swear upon his great long Neck
Dey'll only leave de Scrag;
For dey'll have his Head, bay Gar,
If his Head was twice as long,
Cause he just renew de Var
For his own Divertisemong!
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