 | TYPES. Saratoga in 1901 |  |
TYPES.
“How many young ladies—and now I beg their pardons for
saying it—look beautiful at a distance, but when you come close
to them they have a soiled
look. The hair will look
greasy. Now there is no
more excuse for putting
grease on your hair than
there is for putting it on
your hands. You people,
I say, who grease your hair
are just as barbarous as
the Comanche Indian who
greases his face!
“A gentleman will never
fall in love with a soiled
woman. She must be sweet.
Have you never, in so-called
polite society, met a young
Now, this is plain homely talk. European Court circles do more
bathing, ten to one, than the bourgeoisie. Indeed, in Russia—in
Moscow, where you see the sweetest blonde women in the world
—they have four bath-houses, each as large as the Fifth Avenue
Hotel. Once daily, every man and woman of patrician blood
plunges all over, head and all, under pure sparkling, rejuvenating
water. This makes the hair light colored—gives it a fleecy, airy
appearance—and gives to the homeliest something of the angelic.
“Thirdly, When you get married, take a proud, well-dressed
man.
“I say a proud, well-dressed man, because a well-dressed man
generally does everything well. It takes a man of wit and pride
to wear a well-fitting suit of clothes. Wellington said his dandy
officers were his best officers. There was a dash of dandyism
about all the great heroes of Greece and Rome. There were
swells in those days as well as now. Alcibiade, the “curled
son of Clinias,” was the nobbyest boy in Greece. Aristotle, the
great philosopher, was the “swellest” fellow on the 5th Avenue
of Athens. Marcus Antonius was a dandy, so were Sir Humphrey
Davy and Lord Palmerston.
“Brummel, D'Orsay, and Byron—what officers they would
have made! Too proud to run, their swords would have
frightened a dozen plebeians, whose pride is in money and dusty
tenant-houses. Sherman is as proud as Lucifer at heart; so are
Meade, and Handcock, and Sheridan. They would never run
while there was a man left to see them fight. Such men are too
proud to run.
“Pride makes politeness, makes a man treat his wife well, dress
her in rich pongee and camel's hair, and makes him hate paper
collars and deception generally. Pride always has (in New
York) a backbone, while vanity is a coward. A vain gambler
will stand in front of the Hoffman House all day to show his
fine clothes. If he had pride he would sneak away and hide
himself. The proud man who wears a nice coat himself, I say,
will be sure to give his wife point lace and six-button gloves;
and, says Dr. Holmes, if any one insults her his proud blood
will be up, his amber kids will become gauntlets, and his white
vest will take on all the splendors of a glittering breast plate.
“He will fight for you and love you too!”
“Amen!” responded Dr. Tying, Dr. Corey and Dr. Swope.
| TYPES. Saratoga in 1901 | |